6 Reasons Learning to Forgive Is Good


learning to forgive


I’ve endured many hurtful events in my life.  They actually started in childhood.  Growing up in an alcoholic home, having an emotionally unavailable and abusive mother, being called names by others, teen pregnancy, and divorce added to my pain.   I remember being called names because of color, my hair, or because I was skinny.  There were times when I just didn’t feel loved or cared for.  On an emotional and psychological level, it leaves your hurt, angry,  and depressed.  It also causes you to lose your confidence, self esteem and faith.

Even at this stage of my life, a few of my relationships are rocky.  However, I have acquired the tools to deal with relationships and situations so they don’t cause emotional damage in my life.  For example, I have learned that forgiveness is a powerful tool to have in your arsenal.  I have learned that forgiveness is key in getting rid of baggage that most of us carry through life.

As a matter of fact, learning to forgive is the first step to empowering yourself.  It’s the first step in taking back what is rightfully yours, that is your life.  You have the right to live your life without being a victim in its entirety.  Without forgiveness, we continue to hold on to things that bind us to the hurt and pain that we endured.  There’s a saying, forgive and forget.  I won’t ever tell you to forget it, but I will say let it go and move on.

Why, because learning to forgive is a freeing experience.  Remove the weight of the burden you have been carrying for years with forgiveness.  Learning to forgive also provides the following benefits:

Moves You Forward – Once you learn to forgive, it frees you to move on with your life.  So, remove the shackles and the weight that once held you down.

Helps Heal Emotional Wounds –  Emotional wounds can be just as damaging as physical wounds.  I played the hurtful words that were said to me over and over again in my head.  It was like a broken record.  The words seep into your soul, and if allowed they will become your voice.

Empowers You – Forgiveness returns your power back to you.

Renews Your Faith – Forgiveness helps to re-establish your faith.  If you’ve left your church, return and join a bible study group.  Feeding your soul is important in your growth.

Forgiveness is About You – Forgiving your abusers/victimizers is not about them.  People don’t forgive because they believe their abuser is getting off the hook. Wrong!  You forgive so you can let yourself off the hook.  You free yourself from the secrets, shame, hurt and pain.

Brings a Sense of Peace –  Once you’re free from the people who hurt you, you will find peace.  Forgiveness allows a calm to enter your life, and it clears your head to make rational decisions for you and your family.

You may also like: Why I am Thankful for the Stumbles in My Life 



Why Am I Thankful For the Stumbles In My Life

Being Thankful


Thanksgiving is upon us.  This time of year I slow down and take inventory of everything that I’m thankful for and why I’m thankful.  I strive to give thanks throughout the year, but I know that I don’t sing praises as often as I should.  When I started to write my list this week, I found that I was thankful for my stumbles.

Most people would find stumbles a strange thing to be thankful for.  The definition of stumble is to trip or momentarily lose one’s balance; to almost fall.  There have been times when I’ve stumbled and was able to catch myself or regain my balance.  Other times, I hit the dirt, floor or whatever was beneath me.

So, why am I thankful for the stumbles in my life. Because the stumbles have contributed to who I am and where I am today.  Stumbling is a part of the journey in this thing called life.  Those stumbles and failures caused me to have to get back up, brush myself off and try again.  You can’t reach the finish line of life without stumbling along the way.  When I look back on my stumbles,  I think about my attempt to walk in high heels.  When I first started wearing them, I had to practice walking in them.   I practiced, and eventually I became a master.  As a matter of fact, I can still wear them.  They may not be 4 – 5 inches at this point in my life, but I can still rock 2 – 3 inch heels.

I can also relate my stumbles to learning how to walk. I don’t remember learning to walk, but I do remember my daughter. When she was first learning how to walk, she stumbled a lot.  However, she reached a point where she figured out how to pull herself up and made another attempt at walking.  She saw the goal, and she was determined to reach it.  Sometimes the goal was a doll, a treat or me reaching out to her.  She saw walking as a means to get from Point A to Point B.

As a result, she learned to hold on to the tables, chairs or sofa.  Whatever she could grab to steady herself when she needed to, she took advantage of.  If there was nothing available, she learned to stop in her tracks so she could steady herself before she proceeded.  Eventually, she was able to reach her goals without losing her balance.

The same technique applies to life’s journey.  Another reason I am thankful for my stumbles is because our walk through life requires us to stumble so we can grow.  We become stronger in our purpose and learn along the way.  It requires us to assess our goal, steady ourselves when we become unbalanced, or pick ourselves up when we hit the ground.  Why am I thankful  for my stumbles?  Because they have helped me learn the following:

Endurance – Staying the course until I reached the goal.

Strength – I am thankful for never giving up, even when I thought I couldn’t go on.  My stumbles strengthen me and have made me a stronger person.

Compassion –  Being able to relate to other’s struggles and misfortunes because I have stumbled, has taught me compassion.

Empathy – Over the years I have learning to understand and relate to the feelings of others.  When you stumble, there are tons of emotions that go along with the struggle.  I learned that I wasn’t the only person who has stumbled or who is stumbling.  As a result, you learn to listen and empathize with others.

Determination – Adopting an attitude of never giving up.  Determination is needed to live, love and learn.

Knowledge – Learning from the stumble.  Why, how I regained my balance, and how I reached my goal in spite of the stumble(s).

Appreciation – You learn to appreciate everything you have because of the stumbles and struggles.  You learn to embrace them all, because they are a part of your story.

So, why am I thankful for my stumbles?  Many of us are embarrassed or ashamed of what we have gone through in life.  Because I am thankful for my stumbles, I no longer feel ashamed.  I encourage you to also embrace your stumbles and struggles.  They are a part of your story.

why I am thankful

Ask yourself, why am I thankful for my stumbles?  Make a list of them and be sure to give thinks for your journey.  You can download the worksheet here.  You may also like:  6 Tips to Boost Your Self-Esteem.