Tips on How to Deal with Grief

Today, I’m sharing tips on how to deal with grief.  Grief is a feeling of loss, which might come about due to a number of events. We most often associate it with death, but it’s not the only thing that can cause you to feel grief.  Grief can be one of the most difficult emotions to deal with. It’s not just a fleeting feeling, but is something that can last a long time.  Unfortunately, it often never completely goes away. Accepting the loss of something or someone that once played a significant part in your life is not an easy thing to do. However, there are ways for you to deal with your grief and get back to a happier place in your life.

 

 

Tips on How to Deal With Grief: 

 

Understanding Grief 

One important thing to consider is that grief isn’t only something that you experience after a death.  It’s also something that you might feel when you end a relationship, lose a friend, or even sell your home. You might feel grief if your pet dies or gets lost.  And,  you can feel grief when someone dies.  Even if your feelings for them are more complicated than loving them. Grief is something that you can feel in different ways and for different reasons.  Additionally, the intensity varies too.

 

 

Understand the Emotions That Come with Grief

Grief can bring with it a variety of emotions. You might wonder whether some of the things that you are feeling are “normal”.  Or, if you’re the only one who feels the way that you do. You could feel many emotions when you’re experiencing grief.  This includes everything from sadness to anger or even guilt. Some people also feel numb.  And, might be unsure when or if they are going to start feeling something else. One of the most important things that you can do is to accept your feelings, no matter how far-ranging they might be.

 

Talk About Your Grief

When you are grieving, keeping it to yourself isn’t usually the best idea. You might feel reluctant to share your thoughts and feelings with others.  Perhaps you feel that you will burden them with your grief. However, talking about your grief with other people is good for you.  And, it can be good for them too if they’re experiencing the same thing. You might discuss your grief with friends or relatives, or you might consider doing it with people who aren’t so close to you. You could discuss your grief with a support group, or find support online. A therapist is also an option if you want to talk about what you’re experiencing.

 

 

how to deal with grief

 

 

Remember Happy Times

Processing your grief can often make you feel weighed down by your emotions. However, even though you might be sad now, it’s also a good idea to try and remember the happy times. Whether it’s the positive times that you had in a relationship or the memories you have of a loved one who has passed.  Remembering can  help you to deal with your grief. Some people like to carry or wear something that reminds them of happy times. You might find grief help with memorial jewelry from Memorials.com. Wearing a photo or keepsake gives you a special reminder of the good things that you want to remember. You might have lost something or someone, but it’s important to remember that you had that love in the first place.

 

 

Take Care of Yourself

Caring for yourself can become difficult when you’re grieving. Grief can feel all-consuming, and even basic self-care might be hard or even seem pointless. However, by caring for yourself physically, you can help yourself to feel better emotionally. It’s also often important to care for yourself so that you can care for your family and those around you. Keep in mind that you should recognize when grief might become depression. While grief is often expected, depression is not something that you can necessarily work through on your own. You might need additional help and support to deal with depression.

 

Keep Busy

Staying busy often helps when you are grieving. It gives you something in your life to focus on outside of your grief. Keeping busy could mean a lot of things, from continuing to go to work, taking part in hobbies and activities. Even though it is difficult to process your grief, it’s also important to recognize that life goes on. By continuing with your life, you can start to get back to normal or create a new normal. There are many ways you might occupy your time and spend time with others to ensure you’re not isolating yourself.

 

Allow Others to Deal with Their Own Grief

When you’re grieving, other people that you know might be grieving too. One of the most important things to remember is that everyone grieves in their own way. You might notice that someone else is processing their grief in a different way to you.  But, that doesn’t mean that they are grieving “incorrectly”. It’s important not to dictate to anyone else how they should grieve.  And, also not to expect yourself to grieve exactly like someone else. Of course, everyone should also be careful that they are not using their grief to hurt other people.

 

Learn to Live with Your Grief

Sometimes grief might be something that you can process, and it might even end. However, there are times when grief is something that will always be with you. When someone you love dies, you may never really stop grieving them. However, you can learn to live with your grief.  And, it won’t be something that you feel intensely all the time. Grief changes as time goes on, and eventually, you might only feel it most on certain occasions or when you take the time to stop and think about it. You might need to find a new normal in your life.

Everyone will face grief in their life, but using our tips on how to deal with grief may make it easier. It might not be easy to deal with, but there are ways to process it.

Tips for Appreciating Your Blessings

Today, I’m sharing empowerment tips on appreciating your blessings.  Everyday throws many blessings our way, but all too often we either take those blessings for granted, or don’t even notice them at all.  It’s natural to overlook a few things from time to time.  Especially, when you consider the fact that everyday life is arguably more hectic and haphazard these days.  Our jobs, round-the-clock contact, and all sorts of other everyday obligations mount up.

 

appreciating your blessings

 

Furthermore, if you regularly find yourself getting to the end of the day and not being able to identify enjoyable moments that you can really feel grateful for, then that’s a sign that things aren’t working the way they should.

 

Here are a few tips for appreciating your blessings:

Document things and reflect periodically

 

First, start documenting things.  You can create a scrapbook that includes photos taken by a professional photographer to commemorate big moments in your life, or regular daily journal entries recorded over a prolonged period of time.

When you document things in this way you create a record that you can look back on and appreciate the details later.  Documenting also helps train your skills of perception, and make it more likely that you will actually notice little details in everyday life.

It could be a good idea, to get in the habit of writing down something that you feel grateful for before going to bed each night.

 

 

how to receive blessings

 

Choose to be present wherever you are

 

Psychological research shows that people can be blind to their surroundings if they are distracted.  If you’re reading this, there’s a good chance that the same thing happens to you.  It’s common for all of us to be distracted and caught up in attempts at “multitasking,” as opposed to just focusing on one thing at a time.

Not only does research indicate that multitasking doesn’t work, it’s unhealthy and increases stress.  Stress increases the odds that you’re going to miss some of the meaningful details of everyday life.  So, choose to be present wherever you are.   Learn how to get Focused on one thing at a time, and notice what’s actually happening around you.

 

Filter out the negativity

 

Not being in the right frame of mind can cause you to not recognize and appreciate your blessings.  You may be conditioned to look at the world through a negative lens.  This can be due to the constant negativity that dominates so much of the media.  It can also include online discourse and more.  To counteract this perception, filter out the negativity and stop immersing yourself in it.

Use the time that you would have wasted on negative information to inspire yourself.  Involve yourself in things that you can really find meaning in. For example, try hobbies that are on your bucket list.

6 Reasons Learning to Forgive Is Good

I’ve endured many hurtful events in my life.  They actually started in childhood.  Growing up in an alcoholic home, having an emotionally unavailable and abusive mother, being called names by others, teen pregnancy, and divorce added to my pain.   I remember being called names because of skin color, my hair, or because I was skinny.  There were times when I just didn’t feel loved or cared for.  On an emotional and psychological level, it leaves your hurt, angry,  and depressed.  It also causes you to lose your confidence, self esteem and faith.  Today, I’m going to share tips on why you need to forgive those who have hurt you.  When you do, it allows you to let go, move on and that in itself is empowering.  

 

learning to forgive

 

 

Even at this stage of my life, a few of my relationships are rocky.  However, I have acquired the tools to deal with relationships and situations so they don’t cause emotional damage in my life.  For example, I have learned that forgiveness is a powerful tool to have in your arsenal.  I have learned that forgiveness is key in getting rid of baggage that most of us carry through life.

As a matter of fact, learning to forgive is the first step to empowering yourself.  It’s the first step in taking back what is rightfully yours, that is your life.  You have the right to live your life without being a victim in its entirety.  Without forgiveness, we continue to hold on to things that bind us to the hurt and pain that we endured.  There’s a saying, forgive and forget.  I won’t ever tell you to forget it, but I will say let it go and move on.

Why, because learning to forgive is a freeing experience.  Remove the weight of the burden you have been carrying for years with forgiveness.  Learning to forgive also provides the following benefits:

Moves You Forward – Once you learn to forgive, it frees you to move on with your life.  So, remove the shackles and the weight that once held you down.

Helps Heal Emotional Wounds –  Emotional wounds can be just as damaging as physical wounds.  I played the hurtful words that were said to me over and over again in my head.  It was like a broken record.  The words seep into your soul, and if allowed they will become your voice.

Empowers You – Forgiveness returns your power back to you.

Renews Your Faith – Forgiveness helps to re-establish your faith.  If you’ve left your church, return and join a bible study group.  Feeding your soul is important in your growth.

Forgiveness is About You – Forgiving your abusers/victimizers is not about them.  People don’t forgive because they believe their abuser is getting off the hook. Wrong!  You forgive so you can let yourself off the hook.  You free yourself from the secrets, shame, hurt and pain.

Brings a Sense of Peace –  Once you’re free from the people who hurt you, you will find peace.  Forgiveness allows a calm to enter your life, and it clears your head to make rational decisions for you and your family.

You may also like: Why I am Thankful for the Stumbles in My Life 

 

 

Why Am I Thankful For the Stumbles In My Life

 

 

 

Being Thankful

 

Thanksgiving is upon us.  This time of year I slow down and take inventory of everything that I’m thankful for and why I’m thankful.  I strive to give thanks throughout the year, but I know that I don’t sing praises as often as I should.  When I started to write my list this week, I found that I was thankful for my stumbles.

Most people would find stumbles a strange thing to be thankful for.  The definition of stumble is to trip or momentarily lose one’s balance; to almost fall.  There have been times when I’ve stumbled and was able to catch myself or regain my balance.  Other times, I hit the dirt, floor or whatever was beneath me.

So, why am I thankful for the stumbles in my life. Because the stumbles have contributed to who I am and where I am today.  Stumbling is a part of the journey in this thing called life.  Those stumbles and failures caused me to have to get back up, brush myself off and try again.  You can’t reach the finish line of life without stumbling along the way.  When I look back on my stumbles,  I think about my attempt to walk in high heels.  When I first started wearing them, I had to practice walking in them.   I practiced, and eventually I became a master.  As a matter of fact, I can still wear them.  They may not be 4 – 5 inches at this point in my life, but I can still rock 2 – 3 inch heels.

I can also relate my stumbles to learning how to walk. I don’t remember learning to walk, but I do remember my daughter. When she was first learning how to walk, she stumbled a lot.  However, she reached a point where she figured out how to pull herself up and made another attempt at walking.  She saw the goal, and she was determined to reach it.  Sometimes the goal was a doll, a treat or me reaching out to her.  She saw walking as a means to get from Point A to Point B.

As a result, she learned to hold on to the tables, chairs or sofa.  Whatever she could grab to steady herself when she needed to, she took advantage of.  If there was nothing available, she learned to stop in her tracks so she could steady herself before she proceeded.  Eventually, she was able to reach her goals without losing her balance.

The same technique applies to life’s journey.  Another reason I am thankful for my stumbles is because our walk through life requires us to stumble so we can grow.  We become stronger in our purpose and learn along the way.  It requires us to assess our goal, steady ourselves when we become unbalanced, or pick ourselves up when we hit the ground.  Why am I thankful  for my stumbles?  Because they have helped me learn the following:

Endurance – Staying the course until I reached the goal.

Strength – I am thankful for never giving up, even when I thought I couldn’t go on.  My stumbles strengthen me and have made me a stronger person.

Compassion –  Being able to relate to other’s struggles and misfortunes because I have stumbled, has taught me compassion.

Empathy – Over the years I have learning to understand and relate to the feelings of others.  When you stumble, there are tons of emotions that go along with the struggle.  I learned that I wasn’t the only person who has stumbled or who is stumbling.  As a result, you learn to listen and empathize with others.

Determination – Adopting an attitude of never giving up.  Determination is needed to live, love and learn.

Knowledge – Learning from the stumble.  Why, how I regained my balance, and how I reached my goal in spite of the stumble(s).

Appreciation – You learn to appreciate everything you have because of the stumbles and struggles.  You learn to embrace them all, because they are a part of your story.

So, why am I thankful for my stumbles?  Many of us are embarrassed or ashamed of what we have gone through in life.  Because I am thankful for my stumbles, I no longer feel ashamed.  I encourage you to also embrace your stumbles and struggles.  They are a part of your story.

why I am thankful

Ask yourself, why am I thankful for my stumbles?  Make a list of them and be sure to give thinks for your journey.  You can download the worksheet here.  You may also like:  6 Tips to Boost Your Self-Esteem.