succeeding as a single parent Archives

November 4, 2014 by Rhonda Gales

Today, I’m sharing empowerment advice on handling loneliness as a single parent. Being a single parent can lead to feeling lonely and unloved? As a single parent, we rarely talk about our struggles, but we need to be loved too. However, I found that sharing your feelings helps eliminate shame and guilt. We don’t want anyone to know that part of us, but loneliness is felt by many. You are not alone.

It’s time for us to let the cat out the bag. None of us had a immaculate conception. At some point we had sex that’s how we became mothers and father, right. Hell some of us had great sex! No matter how strong we become as single parents, deep down we still want to have someone wrap their arms around us. What’s wrong with being told that we’re beautiful, that we’re loved and that they want to make passion love to us. It’s a healthy desire.

As single parents, we exert a huge amount of energy into raising our children. Most of the responsibility of raising children falls onto the parent who has legal custody. Because it takes so much energy to raise our children alone, we place ourselves on the back burner. As a result, we bury our need to be loved because loving our children becomes the priority. But, at some point our feelings come roaring to the surface.

So, I’m encouraging all of you to say, I feel lonely at times. Admit that you want someone to love. If you’re alone while reading this post, scream it! Now I can’t guarantee that a handsome man will appear when you finish, but at least you’re acknowledging those deep down feelings. Talk about it with a friend. You’re freeing yourself from the guilt of wanting to be with someone. And, you’re freeing yourself from the pain of not being able to achieve it because of your status.

Furthermore, I worried about dating and having a strange man around my daughter when I was raising her. The thought of someone molesting her that I was dating or another failed relationship haunted me. I had made mental notes of women who had placed a man before her children. Or, trusted them around her children and the man ended up abusing them. Being a single mother is hard enough, I simply couldn’t add that burden to my list of life’s troubles. I realized that I treasured my daughter more than I wanted a relationship. When she got older, I would consider getting involved again.

How to Deal with Feeling Loneliness as a Single Parent:

Accept that you deserve to have a little fun and need adult interaction. Open yourself up to dating and or making new friends.
Take a few college courses to better yourself. First, attending class and doing homework will keep you busy to a point where you don’t have time to focus on being lonely. Also, I also met great people in my classes and would meet them for a drink or burger after class.
Reconnect with old friends, male and female. Next, they may be receptive to spending time with you and your children.
Compile a list of books that you want to read. So, this can include self-improvement, romance, true crimes and anything else that catches your eye.
Learn to cross-stitch, crochet, or scrapbook. – Finding a hobby that you can do the week-end will help tremendously. I started scrapbooking and crocheting. I made scrapbooks for friends and Christmas gifts.
Treat yourself on Saturday nights that you don’t have a date. Burn a candles, put on some soothing music and soak in a hot tub.
Check out on-line groups who can relate to your situation. They are great source of inspiration, a great way to make friends and social networking for business endeavors.
Take a sewing class or teach yourself to sew. – Last, learning to sew will help with the expense of purchasing new curtains, throw pillow, kid’s Halloween costumes and more.
Have a spa day – Give yourself facials, paint your nails or soak in a hot, bubble bath. It all helps to reduce stress.

Finally, know that you are not alone and you will eventually find love again. Good things come to things who wait, but be sure to treat yourself well while you’re waiting. I hope you implement a few of my tips on dealing with loneliness as a single parent. You may also like7 Ways Single Moms Cope With Loneliness.

Tips on Succeeding As a Single Parent

Today, I’m sharing parenting advice on succeeding as a single parent. Raising children as a single parent, whether you’re a mother or father, can be exhausting. It takes focus, strength and determination to succeed, but it can be done. I am living proof that it can be done.

So, if we accept that each and every one of us are where we are because of decisions that we’ve made, we will be more willing to make better decisions. Life doesn’t have an eraser, and as long as we continue to make bad choices we will come up short. Life is not perfect, we will all fail from time to time. But, don’t let poor decision making be what’s driving you.

You should know that when you decide to change courses, drive will be what takes you from Point A to Point B and beyond. If you don’t have any drive get some. You must be willing to dig deep inside of yourself when you feel you can’t go on. Furthermore, you must be willing to make sacrifices. Life isn’t easy, and the world doesn’t owe you anything just because of you’re a single parent.

Most importantly, I refused to allow myself to fall into the stereotypes that society has set aside for single mothers. Have you noticed that single dads are praised for their endeavors, but women are looked at differently? Unfair maybe, but it is indeed a fact. I refused to depend on the system to take care of me or my child, and I have no regrets about my decision! I believe the system should be a stepping stone if it’s going to be used. But that is simply my belief.

Succeeding As a Single Parent:

Become Determined – Decide that you’re going to make it and nothing will stop you. You have to be focused and determined.
When the going gets tough, dig deep within and find the strength. Know the strength is there and your child or children need you to plow on.
Listen to your intuition – It is usually right. I’ve lost count of the number of times I looked the other way when I should have been paying attention to that little voice inside.
Decide that you’re going to be a good example for your children – Become the person that you would like them to be. (Think about the characteristics that are important to you, honesty, reliable, etc.)

Remember, the world doesn’t owe you anything – You need to make your mark and become self sufficient. You’ll feel much better about yourself.
Develop a plan – You must plan in order to be successful. Decide what you want to do and what you need to do to accomplish your goals.
Find support either on-line or in your community – You’re not alone.
Always make your children a priority – You can balance a job and your home. Women do it every day. If you need to enhance your skills before seeking a job, get in a program where you can get assistance. Finding balance is key.
Don’t neglect yourself – You need to feel good about yourself. When you feel good about yourself you’ll achieve more.
Find a higher power or church – It’s important that you believe in someone or something other than you. You will be calling on them for strength and support along your journey.

Succeeding as a single parent has been accomplished by many. Again, I am speaking from experience. Please share some of your struggles and how you’ve overcome them as a single mother. There may be someone who can relate and build on your tips. You may also like Tips for Raising a Child Alone.