Book Review – My Marriage My Testimony

This website contains endorsements for products and services, which means when you click on a link that we recommend, we may receive a commission to help pay for the maintenance of this blog.  Not every link is an affiliate link, but some are.  I am a member of the Amazon Affiliate program.

 

 

reading list, Kindle Books,

 

We all have a purpose in life. First, if you’re struggling to save your marriage or understand your purpose, add My Marriage, My Testimony to your reading list. Second, find yourself a quiet spot and prepare to devour it.  I literally read this book in one sitting. 

Few of us know our purpose in life. This author explains how she found her calling and happiness after being miserable for years. Additionally, she discusses her troubled marriages and the pain of infidelity.  She goes on to discuss her upper class upbringing; however, she finds herself in the welfare office getting food stamps.  She shares how she thought she would die from the  pain of infidelity, but manages to find her calling as a result of it. 

Are you finding yourself in any of this?  Furthermore, Darlene Jackson, painfully shares the mental abuse that was inflicted on her during her first marriage. After she finds the strength to leave her abuser, he refuses to financially support his own children. 

Most importantly, she shares how she simply couldn’t bare to look at her second husband’s love child after his betrayal.  Understandably, she found herself hating her husband. Even so, God placed circumstances in her path that wouldn’t allow her to leave him.  She found herself at her lowest. During that time, she places her hands in God’s hands and finds her purpose in life. She also found the strength and courage to love her husband again by forgiving him for the pain he caused her. She states that she let go and let God change her husband from the inside out.

Eventually, he gave his life to God as well and they now have the marriage she dreamed of. She is now a minister who shares her story to help others who have lost their way, divorced, been betrayed or who are trying to understand their purpose in life.

Finally, I purchased this book on my Kindle.  It’s about 85 pages and easy to read.  The author has the ability to make you feel her story and also think about your life. Purchase a copy for yourself or give it as a gift. It’s a great gift for those who are struggling in any area of their life. 

 

10 Tips to Transform Your Love Life

Relationship Reality Check:

10 Questions that Can
Transform Your Love Life

By Dr. Jacqueline Del
Rosario

Relationships
often collapse because couples are not prepared to withstand the inevitable
conflicts or even the humdrum and monotonous plateau period that’s nearly
certain to present as the years go by.  A relationship can feel more like
“boot camp” when trying to acclimate to each other’s personality differences
and habits—frustrations, tensions, and resentments that can persist well into a
long-term love affair and undermine the ability to feel happy and content. For
other couples, it’s shear boredom that can wreak havoc—if the partnership
doesn’t continue to stimulate and enrich their lives, the doldrums can be a
relationship death knell!


When
couples do not understand these are anticipated and natural events in the
course of a relationship, they may start looking for the exit
door thinking that they have made a grievous mistake. But, many people
don’t realize the extent to which their relational health and happiness is
under their own control. That power lies in one’s ability to self-assess and
foster quality communication with their partner.

With this in mind, here are 10 self-assessment questions—answers to which can
not only help a relationship survive, but also thrive so that both partners can
actualize their dreams of “happily ever after”:

1. Am I putting my
best face forward?

People dress up in their best clothes, make sure their hair is done, and put on
makeup for the outside world. Do you put forth the same effort to impress
and excite your mate? 

2. Am I still
growing?

You must come to a relationship, willing to continuously improve who you are so
that your relationship can continue to evolve. Consider trying new things
together.  Exploration
and adventure can go a long way to keeping things fresh and appealing and will
help you understand and appreciate who your partner is today. Continue to date
and experience new things as a couple. 

3. Am I continuing to
invest the time and effort to maintain a strong foundation?
All good things take
work, and both parties must roll up their sleeves and commit to doing their
part to add value to the union. This includes continually stoking the flames of
passion.  Are
you as proactive or even adventuresome in the bedroom, or are you relegated to
business as usual? Break the routine here and watch the magic ensue. 

4. What are the
anchors in my relationship?
What are the things that keep you rooted and
well-connected with your partner?  Why are you together in the first
place? Identifying and nurturing similar values, goals, and expectancies in
your relationship are fundamental and will help you endure during the tough
times. 

5. How can I help
improve our communication style?
It is essential to learn how each party in
the partnership prefers to communicate. 
 You must then make the conscious effort to deliver and receive
messages from your mate according to their personal style, which may differ
from yours. Knowing when and how to disseminate information is a key
relationship skill that can be a saving grace unto itself. And, during an
argument, always fight fair and with respect—no name calling, no degrading one
another, and no using your tongue as a weapon of mass destruction. 

6. What unmet
expectations do we each have that need to be addressed?
Unfortunately, unmet
expectations are often not shared and, instead, they can fester within and
result in resentment and bitterness. How can you expect your mate to meet your
expectations if you don’t voice them? 
It’s unfair of you to feel that your partner “should know” or be able to
decipher passive aggressive cues that something is wrong.  Met
expectations equal relational bliss, so be honest with what you need from your
partner for a real chance that those needs will be met, or even exceeded. 

7. What emotional
triggers might be adversely affecting my current relationship?
Triggers link back
to past traumas and can hinder the way we respond to or even perceive
present day issues.  Were you lied to or
cheated on in the past? It doesn’t mean you cannot trust your current mate. Did
your past partner drink too much? It doesn’t mean this partner can’t enjoy a
cocktail responsibly. Put your old baggage aside and experience your current
partner on their own merits and actions.

8. Do I stop, look, and listen? Take
the time to listen to and validate your mate. Couples often decrease their talk
time once they have been together awhile and feel comfortable. Keep the
channels of communication open—chatter about the day’s events, current events,
family matters and similar. It bonds the heart and abates the feeling of
growing apart.
Should a concern be expressed along the way, it’s
imperative to hear your mate and try to empathize with how they feel.

9. Do I allow outside
interference?
 There is a reason “interference” is a penalty
in most sports. It is because someone is getting involved where and when they
do not have a right. This can result in focusing on the wrong issues and
reinforcing dangerous and emotional conclusions that can be detrimental to your
relationship. Your partner may also be very angry to find out that others are
now involved in your private life. Instead, go directly to your partner to
resolve relationship problems. However, if things are critical and seemingly
out of both of your control, qualified assistance can come from marriage
coaches and counselors who are there to help get the dialogue between the two
of you on the right track.

10. Do I have a maintenance plan? Are you still doing what you did to get your mate? Do you
know exactly why your mate should or would want to stay with you in the months
and years ahead? What emotional benefits do you offer your mate that others
don’t? Take the time to assess what your virtues are and even ask your mate to
cite favorite qualities about you. Then, make a concerted effort to foster
these qualities to not only ensure interest remains, but also maximize the
caliber of that interest.

“America’s Marriage
Coach” Jacqueline Del Rosario is
President and CEO of Recapturing the Vision International, an organization
dedicated to promoting healthy marriages and family strengthening. Also a
published author, speaker, and nationally regarded media personality, Dr. Del
Rosario has been a certified pre and post-marital counselor for more than 20
years. Her cutting-edge series, Marriage Solutions and The Marital
Constitution™, help couples successfully work through problems and find
healthy solutions. She has two children and currently resides in Miami, Florida
with her husband of over 20 years. Dr. Del Rosario may be reached online at
www.DrJacquie.com.
I will be interviewing Dr. Rosario.  Stay tuned for my interview post. 

Finding Love Again



I’ve met a man that could potentially be my soul mate.  I may be falling in love again!  After my on-line dating fiasco, I had just about given up on love.  When it was the least of my concerns, I met a gentleman that has potential.  I met this gentleman through my Uncle, who had met him on his job.  For some reason, he believed that we would be perfect for each other. 

I was leery, but also intrigued.  My Uncle had never involved himself in my love life in any way.  I was curious as to why he believed this person was a match for me.  He also has tons of other nieces, I wondered why he chose me.  After chatting with him to get answers to these questions, he said he believed that we had many things in common and I should at least meet him.  I agreed to give up my cell phone number, and I would take it from there.  I received a call the next night, but I decided not to answer the my phone when the call came through.  

The gentleman left a message, and I must admit his voice captivated me.  I decided to wait until the next day to  return his call.  When I did he was unavailable, so I sent a text.  He responded immediately.  I soon learned that he was a weapons expert and was teaching a class.  We texted off and on for the next 2 hours.  We decided to exchange pictures, we both liked what we saw.  We talked on the phone and texted each other for the next two weeks.  We decided to meet and we’ve been inseparable ever since.  We’re hitting the seven month mark.  He believes that I’m the one, and he’s going to marry me.  We’ll see about that, but I’ve decided to enjoy the ride. 

He currently lives in the next state; however, he will be relocating to my area.  I learned that he has been teaching in my area and along the east coast for about a year, and plans to relocate to my town.  That was a plus.  We found out that we had many things in common.  He’s divorced and has 3 children and 1 grandchild, I have 1 child and 2 grandchildren.  We both love seafood, wine festivals, amateur photography, travel and the Lord

There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to get my hopes up because I’m afraid of another disappointment, but there’s another part of me that’s saying take the risk.  He may truly be the one.  Things have already gone better than what I encountered on the on-line dating sites.  He’s a romantic, holds my hand, opens the door for me,  pulls out my chair, he conducts himself like a perfect gentleman.  A man who has a job and is a gentlemen, nice start.  I was curious to see what was under the exterior. 

I felt that I needed to do thing differently in hopes that I would attract someone worthy of my time.  You may be wondering what I did.  I read Steve Harvey’s book Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man and decided to follow his rules.  I decided that I would not lower my standards.  If he wanted to be with me he would raise his if necessary.  I can’t say that he raised his, but he respected mine. 

Secondly, I didn’t let my emotions get the best of me.  I followed my head and stuck to my guns on becoming intimate too soon.  He pressed initially, but I held my ground.  I made it clear that I wanted to wait and get to know him and I wanted him to get to know me before we took that step.  Becoming sexually involved too soon clouds a woman’s judgment.   He backed off and actually said he respected my decision and he would wait until I was ready.  Ladies, if he respects you he will wait.  There’s times when we meet someone that we’re attracted to, and get involved too soon because we’re afraid they’ll go elsewhere.  My attitude was go, but you won’t be visiting candy land anytime soon. 

As we spent more time getting to know each other, I leaned that he has been divorced for 10 years, and has had time to heal.  No excess baggage and no baby’s mama drama!  He clearly stated that he has a 13 year old; however, he doesn’t allow her mother to interfere in his relationships.  Another plus.  He’s ready for a permanent relationship.  He also stated that if I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship he would accept that, but he would have to move on. During one of our conversation, he said there were three ingredients to a successful relationship, God, trust and respect and they must be in that order.  If any of the ingredients were missing, the relationship would fail.  Wow, he really got my attention there. 

Another thing that I really like about him is that we can talk for hours about nothing in particular.  We burned the phone lines for 4 hours one night and I think we hit the 1,334th text message in a three month period.  We’re still going strong.  Stay tuned for periodic updates on my journey to love. 

How did you meet your significant other/husband?  I’m always up for a good love story.