17 Tips To Help Your Child Make Friends

Just like adults, every child has a desire to make friends. They want to be invited to parties, sleep-overs, and have playmates on the playground. It’s a natural instinct, but they may need a little help in reaching out to another child. Children develop friendships differently from adults, they must first learn social skills. These skills include learning how to communicate, solve problems, cooperate, and negotiate (share). Here are a few parenting tips to how to help your child make friends:



Create opportunities for your child to interact with other children:

  1. Set up play dates – First, have your child invite others over to play. Set up a play date with a few of their school mates and family members at your local Chuck E Cheese or other pizza place. The local arcade is a great meeting place. If there is a child who may not be able to afford the outing, pay it forward. Please let their parents know that you will be covering the bill.
  2. Have a party  – Have your child invite a few school mates over and serve your child’s favorite snacks. Encourage them to reach out to others who may be alone on the playground or in the  lunch room.
  3. Host sleep overs – Children love sleepovers. Have your child invite a few school mates over on a Friday or Saturday night. They can watch movies or listen to you tell stories.
  4. Have a cookie baking day –  Next, have your child invite a few friends over on a Saturday and bake cookies or cupcakes with them. If you have boys, grill hot dogs or order pizza.
  5. Involve your child in activities – Ballet, swim lessons or organized sports are the perfect place to meet other children, work as a team, and interact.
  6. Alternate with other parents driving the children to and from various activities – I was a carpool mom for years and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Show Support and Help Your Child Resolve Problems:

  1. Problems will arise with friends and family – Listen to your child when they talk. They will tell you what they’re thinking in their own way and words.
  2. Ask questions  – Also, help your child think about the problem and find a possible solution.
  3. Get to know the parent’s of your child’s friends – You can learn a lot about interacting with the adults. Get dad involved too.
  4. Let your child know that not everyone can or wants to be friends  – There’s nothing wrong with either person, sometimes people just don’t get along or their interests change over the years. Explain this to your child.

 

Be An Example for Your Child:

  1. Show your child how you interact with your friends – They will learn from you.
  2. Give your friends lots of compliments – This will boost your friend’s self-esteem, but also teach your child to give compliments to their friends.
  3. Laugh!  – Your child will learn to have a sense of humor.
  4. Hug – Your children will see you hugging your friends and know that it’s okay.
  5. Avoid arguments – Don’t argue with your friends in front of your children. If it’s unavoidable explain to your child that it’s okay to have a disagreement and work out your issues.
  6. Be social with your friends –  Let you child know that you’re going shopping with Kara or having dinner Donna.
  7. Show your child that friendships and relationships are two way streets – Both people must give and take in friendships and relationships.

 

I always felt out of place when I was growing up.  Coming from an alcoholic/dysfunctional home makes you feel alone.  I started to become comfortable being alone.  As a result,  I started writing, reading and drawing to occupy myself.  I would walk around by myself going nowhere really, just wandering.  I started coming out of my shell in Junior High and became more sociable through high school and beyond.  But, to this day I would rather be alone blogging, sipping coffee and watching old movies. The majority of my friendships were made during childhood. We are still my friends to this day.

My daughter was more outgoing. She attended parties, had sleep overs and went to social events regularly.  Roller skating, fishing with the neighborhood kids, and running track.  Furthermore, she danced for 12 years, was a high school cheerleader and attended sporting events of her cousins.  There were many opportunities to socialize during her youth.  However, she’s also comfortable being alone.  She loves to read, draw, listen to music and write in her diary. Friends that she made during her childhood are still friends to this day as well..

Last, these tips have been tried and are true. We are using the same techniques with my grandchildren.  So far, they’re working just fine. Lead the way and your children will follow.  Most importantly, they will develop meaningful friendships that will last a lifetime.

Finally, you may also like:  5 Benefits of Playgrounds

Dealing With Toxic People In Your Life

Today, I’m sharing empowerment tips on dealing with toxic people.  For the past few months, I’ve felt a little down.  I’ve felt heavy, fatigued and at times ready to just throw my hands up in dismay.  Why, a toxic relationship.  I have learned over the course of the years to pay attention to my body and how I’m feeling. Once I get in touch with how I’m feeling, I step away and assess why.    
I ask myself, what’s new in my life? How do I feel after an encounter with a family member or friend? Is there something going on at work that’s bothering me? I ask these questions so I can pinpoint what’s happening.  At times I feel this way because of a stressful situation at work, but the majority of time it’s a toxic person who’s spawning poison my way. Toxic people will affect your health and pull you down.

self-confidence, how to deal with toxic people, toxic relationships

 

Over the years, I have learned that I stayed in relationships or friendships way too long.  I never liked giving up on people or things without giving 100% of myself.  But, I’ve learned that the other party must be willing to give 100% of themselves too. If not the relationship is one sided and I must walk away. Walking away has gotten easier for me.  I realized that no relationship is worth suffering over or not getting my needs meet.

I come from a toxic family.  My mother is as toxic as you can get. So, I am quite familiar with toxic people. Toxic people usually come from a dysfunctional background.  They’re usually harboring deep envy, anger or jealousy.  If they don’t get their emotions in check, they manifest in a harmful way.     

 

Dealing with toxic people

 

  • Dishonesty – Dishonest people are people who hid the truth or don’t tell the truth.  In my opinion, one is as bad as the other. When you’re not honest about who you are, what you’re doing or what’s happening in your life you’re depriving the other people of the ability to make judgments that are beneficial to them.
  • Ignoring You – When a person doesn’t return your calls, respond to your text messages or make time for you it can affect your self-esteem.  My motto is if I’m not a priority, you wont’ be one either.  Nobody is so busy that they can’t find the time to respond in some way.
  • Blaming Other People -Toxic people always blame others for their issues and problem.  They create drama, but try to turn things around and they become the victim.  They project themselves on you.  What is true about them, they say about you.
  • Sabotage – They underhandedly and sometimes overtly try to sabotage your happiness and goals. Deep down they really don’t want you to be happy or succeed.  And, they always find something wrong with what you’re trying to achieve.
  • Toxic People Will Pull You Down – They can and will eventually affect your health and your emotional well being. Their behavior causes drama and/or conflict and whatever the situation is the outcome will be negative.

Finally, I learned to run in the opposite direction from toxic people or limit their presence in my life. I see absolutely no benefit to having them around. They’re like quick sand, they will pull you down little by little and eventually you find yourself up to your neck in crap.  Who needs it. Learn to recognize and deal with toxic people before they grab hold of you and pull you down.

You may also like:  Toxic People Quotes

 

Inspirational Quote – Shallow People

Inspirational Quote – Moving On

inspirational quote

Inspirational Quote – Making An Effort

inspirational quotes

5 Reasons You Should Keep Your Word

Know that what you do or don’t do affects other people in your life.  People want to feel that they can depend on you and that you will be there for them when needed.  They want to know that you’re believable. These traits are essential when you have children involved and also come into play with friendships and intimate relationships.  Not keeping your word is hurtful.    It make people feel unimportant.  Today, we have tips on why you should keep your word.   Keeping your word ensures others that they can depend on you.  And, reliability is a great way to get on the path of empowering yourself.

 

 

 

  • Your children will follow your example – Children do as they see and repeat what they hear.  If you don’t live up to what you say why should they?
  • Demonstrates that you’re untrustworthy –  People don’t trust others who don’t mean what they say and why should they.
  • Could possibly damage the self-esteem of others – If a person depends on you and you constantly let me them down it will eventually affect their self-esteem. They may feel unworthy, not cared for and eventually give up on you or worst themselves.
  • You’re unreliable – You will never become a part of a team or a relationship.  You will demonstrate that you can’t carry your weight and you’re not a team player.  Making a commitment could become a problem.
  • You lack character – Where I come from, your word is your bond.  It’s what makes you stick to another person or a task.  It’s equivalent to a hand shake.  So, character is a reflection of who you are, your values, and your morals.

 

Furthermore, at some point we must all grow up and bend over backwards to keep our word.  Life is not all fun and games, and letting another down can be devastating.  Being responsible is what separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls.  Learn to follow through when you say that you will do something and demonstrate that you can be depended on.

Most importantly, not keeping your word is a serious character flaw that must be improved if you want to be a good parent and maintain other important relationships.  Are you teaching your child to keep their word and are you demonstrating how?  Are you in a friendship or relationship where you are constantly being let down?  If so, you may want to reassess it. People dish out what you’re willing to accept.

 

Inspirational Quote – Remembering Relationships

Do You Choose Looks Over Character In Relationships

 

 

 

While on Facebook yesterday a friend’s post comes through my feed.  The description was “Adorable” and it was a picture of this man who had just been sentenced to 8 years in federal prison for fraud.  I was familiar with the young man, Apollo Nida (below).  He starred on the reality television show Real House Wives of Atlanta.  I looked again to make sure I had read my friend’s description correctly, and yes it was in deed Adorable.  My reaction was Oh My God not another women drooling over a convicted felon.  I commented on her post, and stated “What he is, is a white collar criminal.”  Her response was “True.”  If it’s true, why wouldn’t you speak on that rather than his looks?  I don’t understand our thinking as women at times.  


                                                     

How does a woman who just reads an article about a man who commits fraud, bilks millions from businesses by the use of Identity Thief, and is now leaving his wife to raise two toddlers on her own considered the man “Adorable?”  She disregarded all of this and focused on his looks.  I don’t get it ladies.  I like a little eye candy too, but if he’s a criminal I can’t find the attraction. Did you see the smoke as I was running away, it all goes out the window for me.  


 Several weeks ago this picture went viral of another convict.  Women went crazy over this guy, he’s charged with a felony and he’s an alleged gang member.  They actually helped raise money for his bail.  I find it hard to believe that we as women can be so superficial, and than we wonder why we end up with superficial.  You know the men who leave us drained, bruised, and beaten if not physically than emotionally.  We don’ bother to look beneath the surface, we’re mesmerized by those chiseled cheeks and baby blues.  When we finally wake up, we’re left with children to raise on our own and wondering how we’re going to make ends meet. We’re surprised when they end up back in jail.  Isn’t that where they were when we found them.  

In the case of Apollo Nida, (top photo), his wife is an attorney and just received her licence to open a Mortuary. An educated woman, but she married him after he was convicted of felony charges charges years ago.  Not only did she marry a felon, she has two toddlers with him. Now she will be raising the boys on her own, because he is returning to jail. His reason for returning to a life of crime was because his wife was making more money, and he was trying to keep up with her.  He had no respect for his wife or his children while he was committing these crimes.  He slept beside his wife and pretended to be a role model for his children everyday for years.  He has now been exposed once again for who he is. Was his wife really fooled or did she get caught up in his looks too and turn the other cheek?  Only she knows.   

I believe that people deserve second changes, and many who have committed crimes are capable of turning their life around, but there are also those who will never change.  How do you know what you have?  Sorry I don’t have the answer to that question.  Relationships and love are a risk, so we must dig deep and move slowly so we can find out who that person really is before your start drooling, giving up your money and committing yourself.  Getting beyond looks should be number one in my opinion.  Now don’t get me wrong there has to be a physical attraction, but I need to get to know you on a spiritual level as well as your values, your background, credit history, relationship with family etc.  I have a list that I use now.  I honestly can’t say that I was very smart in selecting a mate in my past, but my eyes are wide open now.  

Ladies, we have to be smarter in choosing a mate and what we say.  Move beyond the physical and look at who he is.  Ask questions, look at his childhood, but most importantly look at his heart. If a man shows you who he is, believe him. When you read an article or post and the man is handsome, but has wronged his family don’t overlook his character.  It makes others question you or at least wonder what’s going through your head.  Know that you deserve better than a man who only has his looks going for him.

Inspirational Quotes: Relationship Improvement

10 Steps To Deal With Grief From A Breakup

Trying to mend a broken heart from a breakup or divorce? I’ve been there and it can be a rough road.  Grief from a breakup can cause you to want to die or at least feel that you are.  You may try to rekindle the relationship by plotting a scheme on how on you can get him or her back.  Calling, texting, or checking their  Facebook page enters your mind.  You may even drive by their house or have conversations with their friends to get advice on how to work things out. Today, I’m sharing tips on how to survive a divorce or breakup.  Knowing that there is life after a divorce or breakup is empowering.  

grief from a breakup

 

 

STOP!   Take a deep breath, regroup and focus on you.  I know it’s hard, but you have to do it so that you can start the healing process.  It’s the only way you can move on with your life.  If you were unable to resolve your differences and you’re in the grieving process, you need to get real.  You had some serious problems that sent you or your partner in the opposite direction.

Next, if you couldn’t resolve your problems when you where together, it’s doubtful that they will ever be resolved.   Sometimes we just outgrow each other.  I knew, I’ve already walked in your shoes.  Here’s a quote that I want you to absorb:  “God will sometimes end a relationship for your protection.  Don’t chase after the person he’s trying to save you from.” – Trent Shelton.

Sometimes you see it coming and sometimes you don’t.  However, the longer you try to hold on the longer you will endure pain.  Ending a relationship with someone that you vowed to spend the rest of your life with or you have fell deeply in love with is like a death.  I have experienced both and you grieve over both losses.  Just as important, you may become angry or you don’t want to get out of bed.  You may cry until the well runs dry and the list goes on.  I went through this when my ex-husband and I divorced, and when I lost my father to cancer.  Grief from a breakup whether in love or death is painful.

I survived and you can too.  Here’s how:

  1. Know that you life is not over, your lovable and you’re moving on to the next chapter in your life.
  2. You’re not a failure, you were smart enough to know when it was time to get out.
  3. Your children will be fine.  There are millions of children in the world who come from divorced homes and they don’t turn out to be rapists or bank robbers.
  4. Pamper yourself during this time period.  You must treat yourself well and know that you deserve it.  Don’t run your credit cards up, just treat yourself occasionally.
  5. Don’t jump into another relationship.  Next, rebounds are not wise and they rarely work.
  6. Set small goals for yourself.  This would be a good time to join a gym and work off some stress.  If you can’t afford a gym, find a safe place to walk.  It’s a good way to think and clear your head.
  7. Limit yourself on the number of conversations that you have about him/her.  It will only prolong your healing.
  8. Enhance your job skills, your household income will be less.  So, don’t depend on anything other than child support.  Unless you are married to a million, women are rarely awarded alimony. Get a job and in the meantime, enhance your skills so you can get a better one.  There are programs available to assist you.  Reach out.
  9. Find a church, you need to renew your faith to get you through the rough times.
  10. Get focused! Last, you will be heading up your household and leading the way for your children.   

 

divorce tips

 

 

Additionally, remember to start your grieving process slowly.  And make sure you work through all stages.  Otherwise, you will only be placing band-aids on open wounds.  You will experience many emotions.  So, there will be sadness, anger, bitterness, loneliness and why me sessions.  Know that emotions are temporary and it’s okay to experience them.

Furthermore, your ex will move on and begin dating again.  Prepare yourself, and whatever you do, don’t approach the other woman.  She can’t be with him if he doesn’t want to be with her.  You don’t want your children to find out that you handled things in this manner.

Last, give yourself plenty of time to heal.  Check out my post on Divorce Cakes for a laugh.  Laughing is good for the soul.  It’s a wonderful feeling when you’re ready to move on.  You will come out of it stronger, wiser and a better person for your struggle.  It’s unwise to try to hold on to something that no longer exists.  Most importantly, let it go so you can free yourself  for someone who is deserving of you and your love.