17 Tips To Help Your Child Make Friends




Just like adults, every child has a desire to make friends. They want to be invited to parties, sleep-overs, and have playmates on the playground. It’s a natural instinct, but they may need a little help in reaching out to another child. Children develop friendships differently from adults, they must first learn social skills. These skills include learning how to communicate, solve problems, cooperate, and negotiate (share). Here are a few tips to help your child make friends:

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How To Deal With Toxic People

self-confidence, how to deal with toxic people, toxic relationships

For the past few months, I’ve felt a little down.  I’ve felt heavy, fatigued and at times ready to just throw my hands up in dismay.  Why, a toxic relationship. I have learned over the course of the years to pay attention to my body and how I’m feeling. Once I get in touch with how I’m feeling, I step away and assess why.    

I ask myself, what’s new in my life?  How do I feel after an encounter with a family member or friend? Is there something going on at work that’s bothering me?  I ask these questions so I can pinpoint what’s happening. At times I feel this way because of a stressful situation at work, but the majority of time it’s a toxic person who’s spawning poison my way.  Toxic people will affect your health and pull you down.

Over the years, I have learned that I stayed in relationships or friendships way too long.  I never liked giving up on people or things without giving 100% of myself, but I’ve learned that the other party must be willing to give 100% of themselves too. If not the relationship is one sided and I must walk away. Walking away has gotten easier for me, no relationship is worth me suffering or not getting my needs meet.

I come from a toxic family.  My mother is as toxic as you can get. So, I am quite familiar with toxic people. Toxic people usually come from a dysfunctional background.  They’re usually harboring deep envy, anger or jealousy.  If they don’t get their emotions in check, they manifest in a harmful way.     

Here are 5 toxic behaviors that I look for:  

Dishonesty – People who hid the truth or don’t tell the truth.  In my opinion, one is as bad as the other. When you’re not honest about who you are, what you’re doing or what’s happening in your life you’re depriving the other people of the ability to make judgments that are beneficial to them.

Ignoring You – When a person doesn’t return your calls, respond to your text messages or make time for you it can affect your self-esteem.  My motto is if I’m not a priority, you wont’ be one either.  Nobody is so busy that they can’t find the time to respond in some way.

Blaming Other People -Toxic people always blame others for their issues and problem.  They create drama, but try to turn things around and they become the victim.

Sabotage They underhandedly and sometimes overtly try to sabotage your happiness and goals. Deep down they really don’t want you to succeed and always find something wrong with what you’re trying to achieve.

Toxic people will pull you down – They can and will eventually affect your health and your emotional well being. Their behavior causes drama and/or conflict and whatever the situation is the outcome will be negative.

I have learned to run in the opposite direction from toxic people or limit their presence in my life. I see absolutely no benefit to having them around. They’re like quick sand, they pull you down little by little and eventually you find yourself up to your neck in crap.  Who needs it. Learn to recognize and deal with toxic people before they grab hold of you and pull you down.

Inspirational Quote – Shallow People

15 Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied

bullying

Do you have a child in school? Are they scared of the school bully?  School bullies are a national problem in America’s school systems.  Bullies can be found in preschool, elementary, junior, and high schools.  A bully is defined as a person with internal anger, resentment, and aggression.  They normally lack interpersonal skills and choose to displace their aggression onto another person.

Furthermore, it’s anti-social behavior.  For example, school bullies usually come from families who lack warmth and affection.  Or from abusive homes. They are usually poor students and aggressive.  However, this is not always the rule.  A new bred of bullies have emerged.  They are referred to as “brat bullies or cyber bullies“.  These bullies are usually seen as spoiled, and they believe the world revolves around them.

Most importantly, bullying isn’t gender specific.  Believe it or not, girls are just as capable as bullying as boys. They just use different tactics.  Additionally, boys usually resort to physical violence.  Where as girls inflict psychological pain.  For example they may resort to calling their victim names, starting rumors, gossiping, or excluding the victim from groups or parties.  Psychological abuse can be just as devastating as physical abuse.  Some of the effects of psychological abuse are eating disorders, ulcers, depression, and suicide.

Just as importantly,  nasty emails and text messages are a part of the brat bully’s psychological warfare.  So, bullies are not limited to children who come from poverty, low income, or broken homes.  As a matter of fact, most suffer from low self-esteem, they wear the latest fashions, and engage in the latest technological trends.  Also, they are raised in middle class and well to do homes.  Beware!  They call their victims fat, ugly, poor, make fun of the victim’s family or their cloths. They send emails or post pictures of the victim on-line and start rumors about them.

So, pay attention parents.  Most importantly, if your child’s behavior changes, grades go down or they have mood swings, they may be having problems with a bully.  Likewise, don’t ignore the signs or think that the problem will go away.  You must get to the bottom of the problem and deal with it head on. Here are a few signs:

  • Afraid to walk or ride the bus to school
  • Feeling ill in the morning, and not wanting to go to school
  • Asking for extra money or starts to steal
  • Starts bullying siblings
  • Stops eating or starts eating excessively
  • Poor grades
  • Cloths torn or dirty
  • Starts stammering
  • Crying themselves to sleep at night
  • Crying before going to school
  • Attempts or mentions suicide
  • States that they hate themselves
  • Withdraws from activities that they previously enjoyed
  • Nightmares
  • Have conversations with your child on what’s happening in school, with friends etc.  You may be able to detect problems during the conversation.

Let your child know that not everyone will like them.  Also, let them know they don’t have to put up with abuse from other people.  Be sure to notify school officials of your concerns.  Proper action must be taken to safeguard your child.  Bullying affects a person’s self-esteem and leaves life long scars.

Additionally, if your child is a bully you must address the pain that your child is inflicting.  So, don’t think that it’s not a big deal or kids are being kids.  For this reason, it’s imperative that you understand that children are killing themselves as a result of the pain they are enduring.   In addition, ask if you’re setting a good example for your child?  Furthermore, ask if you’re contributing to your child’s mistreatment of another person?  Bullying is a serious issue within our society.  It must be addressed. We would love to hear from about your bully experiences.  Please leave us a comment.

You may also like:   How to Help Victims of Bullies

Inspirational Quote – Moving On

inspirational quote

Inspirational Quote – Making An Effort

inspirational quotes

5 Reasons You Should Keep Your Word

                                      Bend Over Backwards To Keep Your Word

  • Your children will follow your exampleChildren do as they see and repeat what they hear.  If you don’t live up to what you say why should they?
  • You will demonstrate that you’re untrustworthy –  People don’t trust others who don’t mean what they say and why should they.  
  • You could possibly damage the self-esteem of others – If a person depends on you and you constantly let me them down it will eventually affect their self-esteem. They may feel unworthy, not cared for and eventually give up on you or worst themselves.  
  • You will demonstrated that you’re unreliable – You will never become a part of a team or a relationship.  You will demonstrate that you can’t carry your weight and you’re not a team player.  You will never be able to make a commitment.  
  • You will demonstrate that you lack characterWhere I come from, your word is your bond.  It’s what makes you stick to another person or task.  It’s equivalent to a hand shake. Character is reflection of who you are, you values, and your morals.  

Know that what you do or don’t do affects other people in your life.  People want to feel that they can depend on you and that you will be there for them when needed.  They want to know that you’re believable. These traits are essential when you have children involved and also come into play with friendships and intimate relationships.  Not keeping your word is hurtful.    
At some point we must all grow up and bend over backwards to keep our word.  Life is not all fun and games, and letting another down can be devastating.  Being responsible is what separates the men from the boys and the women from the girls.  Learn to follow through when you say that you will do something and demonstrate that you can be depended on.  

Most importantly, not keeping your word is a serious character flaw that must be improved if you want to be a good parent and maintain other important relationships.  Are you teaching your child to keep their word and are you demonstrating how?  Are you in a friendship or relationship where you are constantly being let down?  If so, you may want to reassess it. People dish out what you’e willing to accept.  


Photo courtesy of stockvault.net

Inspirational Quote – Remembering Relationships

Do You Choose Looks Over Character In Relationships

 

 

 

While on Facebook yesterday a friend’s post comes through my feed.  The description was “Adorable” and it was a picture of this man who had just been sentenced to 8 years in federal prison for fraud.  I was familiar with the young man, Apollo Nida (below).  He starred on the reality television show Real House Wives of Atlanta.  I looked again to make sure I had read my friend’s description correctly, and yes it was in deed Adorable.  My reaction was Oh My God not another women drooling over a convicted felon.  I commented on her post, and stated “What he is, is a white collar criminal.”  Her response was “True.”  If it’s true, why wouldn’t you speak on that rather than his looks?  I don’t understand our thinking as women at times.  


                                                     

How does a woman who just reads an article about a man who commits fraud, bilks millions from businesses by the use of Identity Thief, and is now leaving his wife to raise two toddlers on her own considered the man “Adorable?”  She disregarded all of this and focused on his looks.  I don’t get it ladies.  I like a little eye candy too, but if he’s a criminal I can’t find the attraction. Did you see the smoke as I was running away, it all goes out the window for me.  


 Several weeks ago this picture went viral of another convict.  Women went crazy over this guy, he’s charged with a felony and he’s an alleged gang member.  They actually helped raise money for his bail.  I find it hard to believe that we as women can be so superficial, and than we wonder why we end up with superficial.  You know the men who leave us drained, bruised, and beaten if not physically than emotionally.  We don’ bother to look beneath the surface, we’re mesmerized by those chiseled cheeks and baby blues.  When we finally wake up, we’re left with children to raise on our own and wondering how we’re going to make ends meet. We’re surprised when they end up back in jail.  Isn’t that where they were when we found them.  

In the case of Apollo Nida, (top photo), his wife is an attorney and just received her licence to open a Mortuary. An educated woman, but she married him after he was convicted of felony charges charges years ago.  Not only did she marry a felon, she has two toddlers with him. Now she will be raising the boys on her own, because he is returning to jail. His reason for returning to a life of crime was because his wife was making more money, and he was trying to keep up with her.  He had no respect for his wife or his children while he was committing these crimes.  He slept beside his wife and pretended to be a role model for his children everyday for years.  He has now been exposed once again for who he is. Was his wife really fooled or did she get caught up in his looks too and turn the other cheek?  Only she knows.   

I believe that people deserve second changes, and many who have committed crimes are capable of turning their life around, but there are also those who will never change.  How do you know what you have?  Sorry I don’t have the answer to that question.  Relationships and love are a risk, so we must dig deep and move slowly so we can find out who that person really is before your start drooling, giving up your money and committing yourself.  Getting beyond looks should be number one in my opinion.  Now don’t get me wrong there has to be a physical attraction, but I need to get to know you on a spiritual level as well as your values, your background, credit history, relationship with family etc.  I have a list that I use now.  I honestly can’t say that I was very smart in selecting a mate in my past, but my eyes are wide open now.  

Ladies, we have to be smarter in choosing a mate and what we say.  Move beyond the physical and look at who he is.  Ask questions, look at his childhood, but most importantly look at his heart. If a man shows you who he is, believe him. When you read an article or post and the man is handsome, but has wronged his family don’t overlook his character.  It makes others question you or at least wonder what’s going through your head.  Know that you deserve better than a man who only has his looks going for him.

Inspirational Quotes: Relationship Improvement