My On-line Dating Experience

January 20, 2014 by

on-line dating

Would you join an on-line dating site?  Dating sites are everywhere.  There’s e-Harmony, Black People Meet, Christian Singles, Match.com, Single Parent Love and the list goes on.  Lets face it, so many things have changed.  Social media has changed the way we live our life.  We meet friends on Facebook, Twitter and blogs.  Why not a dating site.  Balancing life as a single parent, maintaining a full time job, maintaining a home, getting the kids to soccer, football, or ballet leaves little time for a social life.  It can actually leave you exhausted. 

Single parents or non-parents are turning to on-line dating.  Mainly singles who aren’t interested in going to bars or clubs or are finding it difficult to meet someone on their level are curling up with a glass of wine and their laptop and experimenting on-line.  There are many who are shy or have been out of the dating scene for some time and they are unsure of how to connect to another person who feel comfortable in the confines of their home.  There are many reasons singles are heading to on-line dating sites.  There have been many successful connections.  One of my co-workers met her now husband on line. 

I decided to experiment with on-line dating.  I’m past the bar and club scenes, I so decided WTH.  When joining, you’re required to set-up a profile. Of course it helps to add a picture, an up to date picture.  I followed the instructions and waited for the fun to begin.  You’re billed monthly for your membership and can access the site whenever you choose.  You can IM with other members and receive emails.  If or when comfortable, you can exchange phone numbers or agree to meet for a date.  I met several men, I’ll take you through my experience with each. 

The first man who expressed interest lived in my town.  We spent time getting to know each other on line, but I gave up on him after a week.   Getting to know him was like pulling teeth.    He revealed little about himself, and most of his conversation revolved around sex or sexual positions.  Now I’m all for good sex, but not while I’m getting to know you the first week.  Good-bye pervert! 



Next, I met someone who seem promising.  He lived about an hour away and we had great conversations via the phone for about a month.  We agreed to meet.  When I arrived it was clear that he had been drinking, I could smell the alcohol when we shook hands. This wasn’t someone who had a few at the bar waiting for my arrival.  I think he soaked in it the night before.  Did I mention he showed up at our meeting with 2 golf buddies.  Two immediate turn offs for me.  At this point in my life, I’m not interested in a grown man who still sucks the bottle.  Secondly, if you’re not man enough to go out on a date without a chaperon, you’re not man enough to be with me.  I left and stopped accepting his calls.   

The third and last man that I met on-line I actually thought there was potential.  The first date went well, and there was a physical attraction.  He actually excited me, and got the juices flowing.  He seemed to have himself together financially, he had helped to raise his 3 daughters, had a beautiful home, and attended church regularly.  We had many things in common.  We both loved wine tastings, antiques, dining out and traveling.  As time went on, he began to show his true colors.  None of which I liked.  He couldn’t make a commitment if his life depended on it.  He lied, asked me for thousands of dollars and became angry when I said no.  I couldn’t believe this fool thought he was that good or I was so stupid or desperate that I would give him my hard earned money.  His love was conditional, if you let me get into your pants pockets, I’ll love you.  He was pathetic.  He even lied about  his age.  Now when you lie about your age, you will lie about anything.   I asked him if he saw stupid tattooed across my forehead or if there was a sign in my yard that said Bank of Rhonda.

My first red flag was the lying.  He couldn’t keep his stories straight.  The second red flag was the fact that his children rarely visited.  Their flights would have taken 2  hours and he lived 20 minutes from the airport.  They didn’t show up for his birthday, Thanksgiving or Christmas.  Not even a visit during the summer.   When a man who you’re not married to or living with asks you for thousands of dollars.  Run as fast as you can.  Needless to say this went nowhere fast.

After 3 strikes, I cancelled my membership.  For you ladies who are interested in on-line dating, don’t let my negative experience discourage you.  There are many ladies who have been successful.  I just didn’t have the endurance to continue meeting losers on-line.  I am thankful to say that I have met someone and not on-line.  I was introduced by a family member and it’s going great. 


As a single mother, I wanted to share my on-line experience with my readers. Not to discourage you, but to let everyone know that modern technology doesn’t always work.  Sometimes the good old fashioned way is the answer.  Have you tried on-line dating?  Let us know your experience or how you feel about the subject.  We would love to hear from.  

Filed Under: Black People Meet, Christian Singles, dating, dating sites, e-Harmony, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , ,

Would You Have A One Night Stand?

December 6, 2013 by


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I had drinks with my girls over the week-end.  We always engage in interesting conversations during our gatherings and this week-end was no exception.   The single ladies debated whether they would have a one night stand or hook up.   Several said they would and several said they would not.  Wondering what my position was?  I said no regardless of whether a condom was used or not. 
As much as I enjoy sex, I was not that trusting of another person at this stage of my life.  Now don’t get me wrong, I believe that 2 consenting adults should do whatever turns them on.  I’m just not willing to put my life in the hands of someone for an organism.  I understand that dating as a single parent can be difficult and hooking up is an option, but personally I don’t believe that a one night stand would be satisfying. 

Twenty years ago my position may have been different as a single woman, but I’m just to afraid to take this kind of chance now.  Several of the single ladies believed that a condom would prevent unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases.  I stated that condoms were not 100%.  They do break at times, and it would be my luck that I would be the one that it would happen to. 

I’ve found that as I’ve gotten older and a little wiser, my outlook on life has changed.  My willingness to take chances has dwindled and I’m more cautious with who I socialize with.  The fact that I have a security clearance also plays a role in that.  My job requires a credit and background check, so it’s important that I come out squeaky clean and disease free.  

I also believe that my years as a teenage mother plays a role in my perspective.  I have learned to choose wisely or at least put some thought into my decision making.  This includes my sexual encounters.  Would you have a one night stand if you were single? 

Filed Under: dating, Uncategorized Tagged With: , ,

Finding Love Again

October 30, 2013 by



I’ve met a man that could potentially be my soul mate.  I may be falling in love again!  After my on-line dating fiasco, I had just about given up on love.  When it was the least of my concerns, I met a gentleman that has potential.  I met this gentleman through my Uncle, who had met him on his job.  For some reason, he believed that we would be perfect for each other. 

I was leery, but also intrigued.  My Uncle had never involved himself in my love life in any way.  I was curious as to why he believed this person was a match for me.  He also has tons of other nieces, I wondered why he chose me.  After chatting with him to get answers to these questions, he said he believed that we had many things in common and I should at least meet him.  I agreed to give up my cell phone number, and I would take it from there.  I received a call the next night, but I decided not to answer the my phone when the call came through.  

The gentleman left a message, and I must admit his voice captivated me.  I decided to wait until the next day to  return his call.  When I did he was unavailable, so I sent a text.  He responded immediately.  I soon learned that he was a weapons expert and was teaching a class.  We texted off and on for the next 2 hours.  We decided to exchange pictures, we both liked what we saw.  We talked on the phone and texted each other for the next two weeks.  We decided to meet and we’ve been inseparable ever since.  We’re hitting the seven month mark.  He believes that I’m the one, and he’s going to marry me.  We’ll see about that, but I’ve decided to enjoy the ride. 

He currently lives in the next state; however, he will be relocating to my area.  I learned that he has been teaching in my area and along the east coast for about a year, and plans to relocate to my town.  That was a plus.  We found out that we had many things in common.  He’s divorced and has 3 children and 1 grandchild, I have 1 child and 2 grandchildren.  We both love seafood, wine festivals, amateur photography, travel and the Lord. 

There’s a part of me that doesn’t want to get my hopes up because I’m afraid of another disappointment, but there’s another part of me that’s saying take the risk.  He may truly be the one.  Things have already gone better than what I encountered on the on-line dating sites.  He’s a romantic, holds my hand, opens the door for me,  pulls out my chair, he conducts himself like a perfect gentleman.  A man who has a job and is a gentlemen, nice start.  I was curious to see what was under the exterior. 

I felt that I needed to do thing differently in hopes that I would attract someone worthy of my time.  You may be wondering what I did.  I read Steve Harvey’s book Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man and decided to follow his rules.  I decided that I would not lower my standards.  If he wanted to be with me he would raise his if necessary.  I can’t say that he raised his, but he respected mine. 

Secondly, I didn’t let my emotions get the best of me.  I followed my head and stuck to my guns on becoming intimate too soon.  He pressed initially, but I held my ground.  I made it clear that I wanted to wait and get to know him and I wanted him to get to know me before we took that step.  Becoming sexually involved too soon clouds a woman’s judgment.   He backed off and actually said he respected my decision and he would wait until I was ready.  Ladies, if he respects you he will wait.  There’s times when we meet someone that we’re attracted to, and get involved too soon because we’re afraid they’ll go elsewhere.  My attitude was go, but you won’t be visiting candy land anytime soon. 

As we spent more time getting to know each other, I leaned that he has been divorced for 10 years, and has had time to heal.  No excess baggage and no baby’s mama drama!  He clearly stated that he has a 13 year old; however, he doesn’t allow her mother to interfere in his relationships.  Another plus.  He’s ready for a permanent relationship.  He also stated that if I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship he would accept that, but he would have to move on. During one of our conversation, he said there were three ingredients to a successful relationship, God, trust and respect and they must be in that order.  If any of the ingredients were missing, the relationship would fail.  Wow, he really got my attention there. 

Another thing that I really like about him is that we can talk for hours about nothing in particular.  We burned the phone lines for 4 hours one night and I think we hit the 1,334th text message in a three month period.  We’re still going strong.  Stay tuned for periodic updates on my journey to love. 

How did you meet your significant other/husband?  I’m always up for a good love story.   

                                                                           

Filed Under: dating, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , , ,