8 Reasons Dads Are Winning Custody

 

Dads are winning custody.  Times have changed and most courts are no longer awarding child custody to moms just because they’re mom. Many years ago moms getting custody was the standard.  They were given custody in divorces or in relationships that didn’t work out.  This is no longer the standard.  There’s a new generation of men, and along with them comes a new attitude, a new perspective and a battle for their children.  News Flash – they’re winning.  

I’ve watched four of my nephews over the years win custody of their children. Yep, four.  I’m proud to say they’re doing an excellent job of raising their children too.  When the first nephew went to court, I thought his chances of winning were slim. He came ready for the game, hit the ball out of the park and walked away with his son.    

The second, third and fourth nephews followed with custody battles for their children.  They all came out winners. The first nephew that I talked about shares custody with his son’s mother; however, she knows that she better walk a straight and narrow line or on it’s on again and he will win.  As a matter of fact, his son is now old enough to tell the court who he wants to live with.  If he has to choose, it will be his dad.  The second and third nephews have have full custody of their sons and the fourth has shared custody of his daughter as well.      

Here’s a few reasons why dads are winning custody from my perspective:

1)  They established paternity in the hospital, and ensured they were involved in all aspects of their child’s upbringing.  They were involved in feedings, changed diapers, and provided financial, emotional and physical support from day one.  

2)  Women today have outdated thinking.  They still think the man owes them, they don’t realize the importance of being self-sufficient.  Not one of my nephews relies on the system for food stamps, medical care or anything else for their children.  They buy food, clothes, provide insurance, pay for recreational activities etc.  They are not handing money over to mom for child support, they pay for the purchases directly and track the expenses.  Judges are impressed with the bookkeeping, and the majority of the time the money spent exceeds what they would be required to pay in court.     

3)  Men are involved in their children’s recreational activities, attend parent and teachers conferences, assist with homework etc.  There’s no mommy or daddy duties.  They can perform as well as mom.   

4)  They established joint custody early.  They have their children from infancy at least half of the week.  They are smart enough to have established days of custody and times documented.   Because they have joint custody and have the children at least 50% of the time, they are not obligated to pay child support or pay very little.  Their money goes toward the expenses in their own homes for their children.  

5)  They are able to provide a stable environment that is not subsidized by taxpayers/the state. The first nephew owns a home, two have townhouses, and the fourth is working on purchasing a home.  Judges love saving the state money.    

6)  They are involved in community service, coach their children in sports, and strive to set examples.  Their children are taken to shows, professional games, have yearly birthday parties, summer vacations at the beach, involved in other family activities and attend church.  

7)  They consistently strive to improve educationally and professionally.  Two of my nephews have opened a business together while raising their children.  None of them are stay at home dads. They know they have to work in order to provide for their children and themselves.  They’re doing it all, and each of their children are excelling all around.  Judges are impressed with their ability to parent and provide.    

8)  They obtain legal representation who come out swinging.  None of my nephews played dirty in their efforts to seek custody.  They won on their ability to parent, their character and their desire to be in their children’s life.        

It’s a new day, and if we as women don’t change our thinking and get in position to win many may find themselves on the outside looking in.  Not all men are interested in finding out if the grass is greener on the other side when they have children and their marriages and relationships don’t work. Some are making their children a priority, and they don’t need a women to assist them. They have family and community support, and they’re putting it to use in a positive way. 

When I say educate yourself and get in position, it doesn’t have anything to do with being a Welfare Queen or any other stereotype from the 70’s and 80’s.  This type of thinking is what I’m talking about in Reason 2 and why men are winning. There’s nothing wrong with seeking assistance to get on your feet, but it should not become a way of life.  The world has changed and you need to become aware of what’s happening around you.  Society is now seeing things differently, and men are seeing their roles differently.  

Not only have I watched four nephews seek and win custody, 2 of the four were awarded to their father in a custody battle 25 years ago.  I’m not on the outside looking in, I’m on the inside witnessing the battles go down.  So I speak to you from first hand knowledge.    

You must put on your suit of armor and gear up for the fight if you believe you could end up in a custody battle.  It is rare that a storm hits without warning.  These are not men who are involved in drugs, abuse alcohol, beat their partners, or hang out in clubs. I’m talking about real men who are willing and capable of raising their children.  From one mother to another, are you prepared for the fight?  

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Dads Are Winning Custody of Their Children

 

 

winning child custody

Are you going through a custody battle for your children?  You should know that dads are winning child custody. Yes, fathers are obtaining primary or joint physical custody.  Furthermore, they are winning 70 percent of the time.  As a result, more fathers are becoming the primary care giver of their children.

How and why are men achieving this position? Here’s several reasons:

    • They are becoming more involved in their children’s upbringing. They are changing diapers, giving baths, reading books, and fixing meals. Mr. Mom has become a reality.
    • They are educating themselves on how to win.  Instead of convincing the judge that the mother is unfit, they spending their time convincing the judge that they are just as fit. 
    • Women are emotional. Men are proving they are more stable emotionally and they are using intelligence to win.
    • More men are willing to spend the money on attorney fees preparing for the fight. They are taking the time to seek the best representation in court.
    • Not only are they willing to pay the attorney’s fees, they are seeking child support from the mother in certain cases. If they receive joint custody, they are asking that the amount of child support be lowered or they not have to pay support since they are responsible for buying diapers, milk, cloths etc. when they have custody.
    • Men are forming support groups and learning from other fathers who have won custody.

Men are proving they can provide a more stable environment because they have a bigger pay day.  For example, they are willing to give up the two seat vehicle and bachelor pad. They are buying homes with backyards and SUVs to ensure they have room for the children and excursions.  This thinking is leading to dads winning child custody.  

The days of having to prove the mother unfit are over ladies. I know, I watched my brother win custody of his two sons.  I have not only watched my brother win custody of his sons, his son just won full custody of his son.  Men winning child custody is becoming more and more realistic.

After the separation from his wife, my nephew was ordered to pay child support.  Additionally, he had the usual court order which states the visitation rights, and how much he was to pay in child support and when.  He decided to obtained a new attorney and won joint custody and no child support the second time around. What was different the second time? His attorney focused on the fact that he had a better job and medical benefits.  Furthermore, he owned a home and his son’s grandparents were within a mile to assist him with the baby’s care.  Most importantly, they were available to provide child care and there was no better environment for the baby than his grandparents when he was working.  The change occurred within a 3 month timeframe.

He decided to go back to court a few years later to obtain full custody.  Because his son would be entering school full time; it would be impossible to split time between the two homes.  Even though his ex had gotten remarried and had another son, he decided his son would have a more stable home with him.  Most importantly, he wasn’t willing to miss time with his son.   He obtained his lawyer’s assistance and geared up for another fight.  This time he would be fighting for full custody.  He won!  He now has his son in his care 24 x 7.  As a result, his ex has visitation rights.

I’m proud to say that I’ve watched my son-in-law with my grandchildren.  There is no doubt in my mind that he would not fight for joint custody of children. The thinking of young men these days is quite different from my generation. Most men in my generation did not seek custody, they were happy paying child support and having their freedom if there was a divorce.

In conclusion, it seems that if it’s impossible to keep your marriage together mothers may have to gear up for a fight.  Because dads are winning child custody at an unprecedented rate.