Dads are winning custody.  Times have changed and most courts are no longer awarding child custody to moms.  Many years ago moms getting custody was the standard.  Most of the time, moms were given custody in divorces or in relationships that didn’t work out.  This is no longer the standard.  There’s a new generation of men, and along with them comes a new attitude.  Furthermore, they’re bring a new perspective and a will to fight for their children.  News Flash – they’re winning.  Today, I’m sharing tips on why dads are winning custody of their children.  Knowledge is power, and power will help empower you.

I’ve watched four of my nephews over the years win custody of their children. Yes, I said three.  I have a lot of nephews, if we look at the big picture four is a small number.  However, I’ve been on the inside of how and why they’re winning.  I’m proud to say they’re doing an excellent job of raising their children too.  When the first nephew went to court, I thought his chances of winning were slim. He came ready for the game, hit the ball out of the park and walked away with his son.

The second, third and fourth nephews followed with custody battles for their children.  They all came out winners. The first nephew that I talked about shares custody with his son’s mother; however, she knows that she better walk a straight and narrow line.  Otherwise, he will win.  As a matter of fact, his son is now old enough now to tell the court who he wants to live with.  If he has to choose, it will be his dad.  The second and third nephews have have full custody of their sons too.

Here’s a few reasons why dads are winning custody from my perspective:

1)  First, men are ensuring they are involved in all aspects of their child’s upbringing.  They are involved in feedings, changed diapers, and providing financial, emotional and physical support from day one.

2)  Women today have outdated thinking.  They still think the man owes them. Often they don’t realize the importance of being self-sufficient.  Not one of my nephews relies on the system for food stamps, medical care or anything else for their children.  They buy food, clothes, provide insurance, pay for recreational activities etc.  They are not handing money over to mom for child support, they pay for the purchases directly and track the expenses.

3)  Next, men are involved in their children’s recreational activities, attend parent and teachers conferences, assist with homework etc.  There’s no mommy or daddy duties.  They can perform as well as mom.

4)  They established joint custody early.  Furthermore, they were smart enough to establish days of custody and times documented through court.   Because they have joint custody at least 50% of the time, most are not obligated to pay child support. Their money goes toward the expenses in their own homes for their children.

5) Providing a stable environment that is not subsidized by taxpayers/the state is a plus. The first nephew has a home, and the other two have townhouses.  Judges love saving the state money.

6)  Additionally, they are involved in community service, coach their children in sports, and strive to set examples.  Their children are taken to shows, professional games, have yearly birthday parties, summer vacations at the beach, involved in other family activities and attend church.

7)  They consistently strive to improve educationally and professionally.  Two of my nephews have opened a business together while raising their children.  None of them are stay at home dads. They know they have to work in order to provide for their children and themselves.  They’re doing it all, and each of their children are excelling all around.  The ability to parent and provide are impressing judges.

8)  They obtain legal representation who come out swinging.  None of my nephews played dirty in their efforts to seek custody.  They won on their ability to parent, their character and their desire to be in their children’s life.

It’s a new day, and if we as women don’t change our thinking and get in position to win many may find themselves on the outside looking in.  Not all men are interested in finding out if the grass is greener on the other side.  When they have children and their marriages and relationships don’t work they are willing to fight these days. Some are making their children a priority, and they don’t need a women to assist them. They have family and community support, and they’re putting it to use in a positive way.

When I say educate yourself and get in position, it doesn’t have anything to do with being a Welfare Queen or any other stereotype from the 70’s and 80’s.  This type of thinking is what I’m talking about in Reason 2 and why men are winning. There’s nothing wrong with seeking assistance to get on your feet, but it should not become a way of life.  The world has changed and you need to become aware of what’s happening around you.  Society is now seeing things differently, and men are seeing their roles differently.

Finally, you must put on your suit of armor and gear up for the fight if you believe you could end up in a custody battle.  It is rare that a storm hits without warning.  Drugs, abusing alcohol, beating their partners, or hanging out in clubs are not a part of these men’s life. I’m talking about real men who are willing and capable of raising their children.  Strive for joint custody, and work diligently to co-parent.

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