How and why are men achieving this position? Here’s several reasons:

• • They are becoming more involved in their children’s upbringing. They are changing diapers, giving baths, reading books, and fixing meals. Mr. Mom has become a reality.

• • They are educating themselves on how to win.  Instead of convincing the judge that the mother is unfit, they spending their time convincing the judge that they are just as fit. 

• • Women are emotional. Men are proving they are more stable emotionally and they are using intelligence to win.

• • More men are willing to spend the money on attorney fees preparing for the fight. They are taking the time to seek the best representation in court.

• • Not only are they willing to pay the attorney’s fees, they are seeking child support from the mother in certain cases. If they receive joint custody, they are asking that the amount of child support be lowered or they not have to pay support since they are responsible for buying diapers, milk, cloths etc. when they have custody.

• • Men are forming support groups and learning from other fathers who have won custody.

Men are proving they can provide a more stable environment because they have a bigger pay day.  For example, they are willing to give up the two seat vehicle and bachelor pad. They are buying homes with backyards and SUVs to ensure they have room for the children and excursions.  This thinking is leading to dads winning child custody.  

The days of having to prove the mother unfit are over ladies. I know, I watched my brother win custody of his two sons.  I have not only watched my brother win custody of his sons, his son just won full custody of his son.  Men winning child custody is becoming more and more realistic.

After the separation from his wife, my nephew was ordered to pay child support.  Additionally, he had the usual court order which states the visitation rights, and how much he was to pay in child support and when.  He decided to obtained a new attorney and won joint custody and no child support the second time around. What was different the second time? His attorney focused on the fact that he had a better job and medical benefits.  Furthermore, he owned a home and his son’s grandparents were within a mile to assist him with the baby’s care.  Most importantly, they were available to provide child care and there was no better environment for the baby than his grandparents when he was working.  The change occurred within a 3 month timeframe.

He decided to go back to court a few years later to obtain full custody.  Because his son would be entering school full time; it would be impossible to split time between the two homes.  Even though his ex had gotten remarried and had another son, he decided his son would have a more stable home with him.  Most importantly, he wasn’t willing to miss time with his son.   He obtained his lawyer’s assistance and geared up for another fight.  This time he would be fighting for full custody.  He won!  He now has his son in his care 24 x 7.  As a result, his ex has visitation rights.

Last, I’m proud to say that I’ve watched my son-in-law with my grandchildren.  There is no doubt in my mind that he would not fight for joint custody of children. The thinking of young men these days is quite different from my generation. Most men in my generation did not seek custody, they were happy paying child support and having their freedom if there was a divorce.

In conclusion, it seems that if it’s impossible to keep your marriage together mothers may have to gear up for a fight.  Because dads are winning child custody at an unprecedented rate.