15 Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied

bullying

Do you have a child in school? Are they scared of the school bully?  School bullies are a national problem in America’s school systems.  Bullies can be found in preschool, elementary, junior, and high schools.  A bully is defined as a person with internal anger, resentment, and aggression.  They normally lack interpersonal skills and choose to displace their aggression onto another person.

Furthermore, it’s anti-social behavior.  For example, school bullies usually come from families who lack warmth and affection.  Or from abusive homes. They are usually poor students and aggressive.  However, this is not always the rule.  A new bred of bullies have emerged.  They are referred to as “brat bullies or cyber bullies“.  These bullies are usually seen as spoiled, and they believe the world revolves around them.

Most importantly, bullying isn’t gender specific.  Believe it or not, girls are just as capable as bullying as boys. They just use different tactics.  Additionally, boys usually resort to physical violence.  Where as girls inflict psychological pain.  For example they may resort to calling their victim names, starting rumors, gossiping, or excluding the victim from groups or parties.  Psychological abuse can be just as devastating as physical abuse.  Some of the effects of psychological abuse are eating disorders, ulcers, depression, and suicide.

Just as importantly,  nasty emails and text messages are a part of the brat bully’s psychological warfare.  So, bullies are not limited to children who come from poverty, low income, or broken homes.  As a matter of fact, most suffer from low self-esteem, they wear the latest fashions, and engage in the latest technological trends.  Also, they are raised in middle class and well to do homes.  Beware!  They call their victims fat, ugly, poor, make fun of the victim’s family or their cloths. They send emails or post pictures of the victim on-line and start rumors about them.

So, pay attention parents.  Most importantly, if your child’s behavior changes, grades go down or they have mood swings, they may be having problems with a bully.  Likewise, don’t ignore the signs or think that the problem will go away.  You must get to the bottom of the problem and deal with it head on. Here are a few signs:

  • Afraid to walk or ride the bus to school
  • Feeling ill in the morning, and not wanting to go to school
  • Asking for extra money or starts to steal
  • Starts bullying siblings
  • Stops eating or starts eating excessively
  • Poor grades
  • Cloths torn or dirty
  • Starts stammering
  • Crying themselves to sleep at night
  • Crying before going to school
  • Attempts or mentions suicide
  • States that they hate themselves
  • Withdraws from activities that they previously enjoyed
  • Nightmares
  • Have conversations with your child on what’s happening in school, with friends etc.  You may be able to detect problems during the conversation.

Let your child know that not everyone will like them.  Also, let them know they don’t have to put up with abuse from other people.  Be sure to notify school officials of your concerns.  Proper action must be taken to safeguard your child.  Bullying affects a person’s self-esteem and leaves life long scars.

Additionally, if your child is a bully you must address the pain that your child is inflicting.  So, don’t think that it’s not a big deal or kids are being kids.  For this reason, it’s imperative that you understand that children are killing themselves as a result of the pain they are enduring.   In addition, ask if you’re setting a good example for your child?  Furthermore, ask if you’re contributing to your child’s mistreatment of another person?  Bullying is a serious issue within our society.  It must be addressed. We would love to hear from about your bully experiences.  Please leave us a comment.

You may also like:   How to Help Victims of Bullies

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Comments

  1. Another great post. I was shocked to find out that one of the 4th grade girls from Amara's school had been bullied so badly — by other girls — that she started a new school this year. It really is very sad, especially that is would start so young.

  2. We had a bully problem earlier this school year (1st grade).  I did blog about it:
    http://sillymommy2sillygirls.blogspot.com/2009/10/bullying-in-first-grade.html
    Long story short a little girl started a'club' and everyone in it had to do what she wanted.  If they didn't she cried until they did what she wanted.  My daughter is so nice she felt bad about making anyone cry.  I was the only mom out of a couple of girls that even knew about the 'club' or what it really was.  As soon as I let her teacher know they stepped in that very hour.  My daughter now rarly interacts with that child and I kept checkin with my daughter to know what is going on.  The very day I let the teacher know that child came up to me and asked if my daughter was going to her birthday party the next day.  Let me just say we did not go and I explained to my daughter why.

  3. In response to the Anonymous Comment – You must protect your child physically and emotionally.  No child deserves to be hit, punched or excluded.  If removing him from the school will restore his self-esteem and ensure his safety, you must take those steps immediately.  The fact that he is seeing himself in the obituary is a sign that he is troubled. 

    Don’t wait for the educators to remedy the problem.  They’ve made it clear that they aren’t going to do anything.  I would also suggest that you seek legal advice.  Public schools are responsible for a child’s safety while they are on school grounds.  I’m sure this applies to Catholic schools as well. Keep us informed, and thanks for sharing.

    Rhonda

  4. Karen, I really give you credit for being open minded about bullying in your class room.  My son’s 4th grade teacher told me my son “deserves” the punching, pushing, hitting he gets.  I knew I had to get him out of the school (a Catholic school) when my son was excluded from a birthday party every one was invited to.  He started talking about obituaries and whether certain people would read the paper to find out if he had died.  I’m sitting here in tears because maybe I let it go on too long.  the Principal and the Priest would not take any steps to interven in fact they chose to turn everything back on my son!  When will educators be forced to face facts and recognize bullying and learn the appropriate steps to deal with it?

  5. Thank you for a great post. Last year I was teaching 5th grade in a great school with sweet, well-grounded, responsible students, but I did see the seeds of bullying being planted and it was scary! Even “nice” kids can get sucked into this behavior and I spent a lot of time teaching the kids to defend themselves and TELL if things escalate. I agree it crosses all boundaries and the answer to solving the problem for both the victim and the bully, has to do more with parenting than it does the child, but it’s tough – we can’t be with them 24/7 though sometimes I wish e could!! Thanks for the advice!
    Karen

  6. I think that the important thing to note is not that a higher percentage of bullies come from low-income homes, but that bullies tend to have lower self-esteem (which may stem from coming from a lower-income home).  Too many parents of bullies think their child is an angel who would never hurt another child.  It doesn’t matter how much money you have or how many material things you give your child.  Children need a lot of things above and beyond the material – love, security, boundaries, and strong parents who aren’t afraid to say, “No.”  It would be nice if the focus could move away from an issue of race and socio-economics, to one of raising healthy, happy, and respectful children.