6 Tips To Boost Your Self Esteem

May 14, 2019 by

Today, I’m sharing tips on how to boost your self-esteem. So, do you need a self-esteem boost?  A self-esteem boost is a great way to become empowered again and renew your faith.  At one point in my life I saw myself as an attractive, sexual, and vibrant woman.  I looked in the mirror one day and I realized that I had bags under my eyes, more gray hair, and I looked tired.  I wondered what had happened. When I looked back over the years I realized that I had lost myself.  I had lost myself while I worked diligently to be a good mother, I was divorced and was pulling double duty with most things.  

 

 

self esteem



I had become a wife, mother, taxi driver, nose wiper, chef, CEO, house keeper, medicine dispenser, CFO, and it all led to exhaustion.  Being a mother has been my greatest joy.  But, it requires so much.  Even when we think we can’t do it anymore or we have nothing else to give, we reach down and find more and do more.  As women we can become so entrenched in our roles that we can loose ourselves along the way.  We wake up one morning, and wonder what happen to our self-esteem.

So, I had my house remodeled several years ago.  My main focus was the master bath. I have a huge garden tub that I wanted to refresh.  Additionally, the shower needed a makeover.  So, I decided to install a rain shower head.  And, I tiled around the vanity, shower and tub.

I stood in stores for hours looking until I found the perfect tile.  I even had a seat constructed in my shower so I could carefully shave my legs, and a heated ceramic tile floor installed.  After the project was finished, I surrounded my tub with beautiful candles and spa towels.  It was my favorite room in the house.  It’s funny, I can’t remember the last time that I soaked in that tub.  Let alone sipped a cup of tea and enjoyed the flicker of the flames on the candles. You may be wondering what I did to get back on top.

 

How to Boost Your Self-esteem: 

 

1.  Know that you’re important – You’re an entity in your home too, and it’s okay to love yourself. Make time to do the things that you enjoy such as having a glass of wine, scrapbooking, reading, cross-stitching, watching your favorite TV show, or playing a computer game. Whatever you enjoy, take time to enjoy it.

2.  It’s okay to not respond to every need that everyone else has – Trying to please very one will wear you out, lead to stress, and health problems. Remember you need your rest too.

3.  Accept responsibility for where you are now –  Don’t blame your kids or your husband, you have the power to say I’m tired I need to rest, I need help or I need time for myself and take it.

 

self esteem

 

 

4.  Become determined and self-reliant – Do what you can around your house, rather than sitting around waiting on your husband or significant to do everything for you. Take the stress off yourself because you’re waiting for someone to complete a project for you. It could also take the stress of your husband or significant other too.  This includes painting a room, building those raised garden beds, painting the deck furniture, cleaning out the garage etc. There’s some great bloggers out there that can show you how.

5.  Stop trying to take on everything – There are no shortcuts in life, it can be brutal at times.  We must learn to let things go, take a deep breath and exhale. Set priorities and learn to walk away when things get overwhelming. Tomorrow is another day, you can get it done then.

6.  Budget your money and treat yourself  – If you are a SAHM, get a pay check for your work inside the home. Purchase a bouquet of flowers for yourself or treat yourself to a manicure, pedicure or facial. Not your thing, buy a new dress and have a monthly date night with your husband or significant other. It will recharge your batteries!

It’s important to reclaim your self-worth and start treating myself like the queen that your are. I have learned that it’s okay to make myself number one occasionally.  Being mom, wife, and grandmother are wonderful roles, but we should never loose ourselves. They aren’t inclusive of who we are.  We hope that you have found our tips on how to boost your self esteem helpful.

 Please leave us a tip on how you boost your self-esteem. We may want to incorporate your tip into our routine.

You may also like How To Empower Yourself Emotionally
                                    Why I No Longer Use the Word Weak
  

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6 Tips On How to Remove Makeup

February 26, 2018 by 2 Comments

Makeup, it takes a long time to put on and about as long to take off.  Especially, if you’ve used stubborn, waterproof products. It can be a real pain, but the alternative is worse.  Not removing your makeup can cause some serious damage to your skin. Thankfully, there are many ways to gently remove makeup.  When you look good you feel good.  Taking the time to focus on yourself is empowering.  So, today we’re sharing tips on how to remove makeup below:

 

 

 

 

how to remove makeup

 

  1. Eye makeup remover

Eye makeup is hard to remove for two reasons: waterproof liners and mascara clearly won’t wash off with just a few mere splashes of water.  Unfortunately, the area around the eyes is thinner and more delicate than in the rest of the face.  As a result, rubbing or pulling too hard at the area is not recommended.  Furthermore, using force to get the makeup off will cause damage and lead to wrinkles and fine lines.  So, remove your eye shadow, brow product, liner and mascara with a dedicated eye makeup remover.  It should easily come off with the swipe of a cotton.  This product will help reduce the stress on that fragile skin.

We recommend the Apple Seed Lip & Eye Remover from Innisfree.  Additionally, it is hypoallergenic and contains polysaccharose and minerals from apples.  It protects your skin from dryness and irritation after makeup removal.  So when you’re considering how to remove makeup, keep this tip in mind.

  1. Cleansing oil

A good cleansing oil should be able to dissolve your facial makeup.  This includes BB cream, foundation, concealer, blush, and contour.  By loosening the makeup, you should be able to take it off more easily.  Most cleansing oils emulsify, which means that they go on clear.  However, when combined with water when you wash it becomes milky. Cleansing oils also provide the additional benefit of softening your skin rather than drying it out like an astringent.

  1. Sonic cleansing

A sonic cleansing brush is a great tool for removing makeup.  Combined with a deep cleansing gel or foaming cleanser, it should be able to take off facial makeup.  Using a separate product remover to loosen up makeup particles before you brush is recommended.

  1. Cold cream

While no longer popular, cold cream has been in used for generations to take off makeup. A simple emulsion of mineral oils and natural waxes, it’s fairly effective in melting makeup.  Those same mineral oils and waxes can also help create a moisture barrier.  The barrier helps protect the skin from moisture loss and leaves it feeling softer.

  1. Steam heat

Using steam to loosen your pores is one way of removing embedded makeup.  This is not a makeup removing method on its own, but more of a pre-removal step.  It is to be used in conjunction with an actual remover or cleanser. When your pores are opened up, the cleanser has an easier time penetrating.  So, it is able to flush out dirt and debris easier.

  1. Makeup wipes

Using makeup wipes to remove makeup should be a last resort. Makeup cleansing wipes will do in a pinch when you don’t have anything else available.  But, they are not recommended as a longtime practice. While these wipes can help wipe face makeup off and dissolve stubborn products, it is not a substitute for a proper cleansing routine.  They often leave traces or residue on your skin.  Furthermore, trying to get your makeup off with these will require a fair bit of rubbing and pulling.  If you want to preserve your skin’s integrity, this is a no no.  Skip the wipes unless you don’t have a choice, and go for one of the methods above.

Whichever method or combination of methods you choose from our how to remove makeup tips, make sure you do a thorough job in order to prevent breakouts and to preserve your skin’s glow.

 

Filed Under: Beauty and Fashion, Empowerment Tagged With: , ,

Transitional Pieces From Summer To Fall

October 25, 2016 by 1 Comment

As you already know, the early days of autumn are pretty unpredictable when it comes to weather forecast.  It’s impossible to always know how to dress.  As a result,  you should have a collection of transitional pieces from summer to fall that you can easily layer.  If it gets too hot you can remove an item or if it gets too cold you can add an item.  Today, I’m sharing six transitional pieces from summer to fall every woman needs in her wardrobe.  When you look good, you feel good.  When you feel good, you feel empowered.

 

 

 

fashion tips for women

 

 

 

 

Long sleeve dress

No, you don’t have to say goodbye to your favorite summer dresses as soon as autumn arrives.  You can still wear them when the temperatures drop.  Simply add a jacket or cardigan.  Needless to say, you won’t freeze thanks to those long sleeves!  Additionally, a long sleeved dress should be a staple in your in your wardrobe for the season.  These looks are sophisticated and very trendy at the same time.

Trench coat

If you still don’t own a trench coat, it’s high time you got one! This piece is truly timeless because of its versatility in the first place. You can wear it both in casual and formal occasions.  I recommend one with a removable liner for colder days and nights.  When you remove the liner it will be lightweight, but still provide warmth and coziness.  It’s perfect for the transitional period!

Cardigan

A stylish cardigan in an autumn-friendly shade will certainly keep you warm.  It will complement your outfit and take it to a new level. Colors such as Terracotta, Marsala, Olive, and Emerald Green may be just perfect for this season.  So have them in mind while choosing a perfect cardigan. Match it with a striped shirt, add a piece of statement jewelry, and voila – your transitional outfit is all done!

Trendy sunglasses

A good pair of high-quality sunglasses are needed during the fall months too.  The sun’s rays are still strong.  Apart from protecting your eyes, sunglasses are extremely fashionable. That makes them must-haves for a transitional period. When choosing a perfect pair, make sure that it perfectly fits the shape of your face.

Numerous brands and fashion houses are coming up with different shapes and sizes.  If you’re not quite sure which ones to purchase, you can always choose classic Dolce and Gabbana sunglasses. This model looks stunning on almost every face shape, while captivating with its Italian elegance at the same time.

Silk scarf

Autumn inevitably brings lower temperatures, which is exactly why a stylish silk scarf is an absolute must when it comes to your perfect outfit. It is a perfect choice since a heavy woolen scarf would definitely be too much – it may be too warm, which can possibly cause you to sweat a lot. For this reason, a nice silk scarf will do the trick. Just choose one in your favorite autumnal shade, or with a trendy print, and you’ll be good to go!

Pointed toe flats

The flip-flop season is finally behind us.  You can finally slip into your pointed toe flats that are just perfect for this period.  They can be worn to both formal and informal occasions.  You can go for a casual drink after work or to a meeting with business partners. Select a pair that are stylish, yet so comfortable.  Style and comfort should be your top priority while picking the right one.

Here you go – a list of six transitional pieces from summer to fall are right in front of you! Each one of them is definitely a must-have for the upcoming seasons. So, make sure that you have at least some of these. Trust us, such pieces will make your life much easier!

Author BIO:

Sophia Smith is Australian based beauty and fashion and lifestyle blogger. She is very passionate about latest fashion trends, DIY projects and organic beauty products. Sophia writes mostly in beauty and fashion related topics, mainly through blogs and articles. She is regular contributor at High Style Life.

You can find out more about her writing following her on: Facebook  Twitter  Google +

 

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Values Help Develop Kid’s Self-Confidence

April 4, 2016 by 1 Comment

  kids self-esteem, motivating children, kid's values

 

First, parents play a vital role in grooming and developing a child’s personality and self-esteem.  Do you want to be the proud parents of a child who is full of self-confidence?  Furthermore, do you want your child to walk with their head held high?  Here are some things you can do that will in turn help boost your child’s self-confidence:

  • Do Not Let Any Negative Thoughts, Emotions and Limitations Pull you Down – Negative thoughts undermine your confidence. Do not let your true capabilities be overshadowed by inhibitions of the mind and heart.  Furthermore, exercise self-control and learn to maintain your calm.  Also learn to stay composed in panic situations.  So keep brainwashing yourself.  Filter out the negative thoughts and keep going.
  • Positive Thinking Breeds Positivity – Back your positive thoughts by positive actions. Even when you are on the lowest ebb, let the light of positivity shine through.  Your children will see it.
  • Face your fears and overcome any hurdles that come your way – Feed your self-esteem by challenging yourself and facing your biggest fears. Doing things which seemed unattainable in the past, can contribute significantly in raising your self-confidence.  You will soon believe that you will be able to cross hurdles and obstacles that would normally deter your progress.
  • Replace bad habits with healthy habits –   You need to correct your inner flaws and short comings to feel confident from within. It is very easy to get into bad habits, but hard to get over them.  Indulging in  healthy habits will help you emerge as a confident individual. Anything that makes you feel good about yourself, will ultimately lead to higher self-esteem.  Teach these healthy habits to your children.
  • Be Grateful for Whatever You Have and Live a Meaningful Life – It is very easy to be ungrateful.  Focus on the good in your life.  Happiness and true bliss can be found in the small things in life. This is where our individual perceptions come into play.  If you envy other people, you will be ungrateful for your blessings.  This keeps you in a constant state of restlessness because you always feel the other person is better off than you. Until you are truly content and satisfied at heart, you will continue to seek ways to make you happy. Being happy with who you are.  It will lead to living healthier and a more productive life.  It will also teach your children to happy with who they are, and to be grateful for the little things in life.
  • Emerge from failure as a stronger, experienced individual –  If at first you don’t succeed; try, try, try again. Do not let failure overpower you to a point where your reasoning and logic is clouded.  Impaired reasoning leaves you confused and demoralized.  Accept your failure, pick up the broken pieces and get on with life.  You can always try again.  Your children will see that failure is a part of life.
  • Raise your intellectual standards – Be consistent in searching general knowledge and awareness. Being knowledgeable makes a person more confident. Personal growth is a continuous process. Stay updated with current national and international events. Become a participant on various topics such as politics, business and sports. Try learning new things on a daily basis and keep your child updated too.
  • Engage in philanthropic activities – Teach your children to think about society.  They need to learn to empathize with the people who are not a fortunate as them.  Be an example by being an active part of it. Children need to learn to spread happiness around them.  Spreading happiness will make others feel good about themselves as well as others.  It also makes them forget about the negativities that surround us.  It enhances our confidence level too.

Finally, be an example for your children.  They will follow in your foot steps, and remember you may not see immediate changes in your child/children.  Building confidence is a life time endeavor.

I want to thank James Smith for this amazing guest post!  You may also like: Teaching Children Responsibility

About the author: James Smith is a survivalist, who loves to write about survival skills and techniques. Currently, he is working for Teotwawki Supplies, offering a complete range of survival and emergency kits. Follow him on twitter @jamessmith1609.

Filed Under: Parenting Tips Tagged With: , , ,

A Working Mom’s Guide On How To Be Happier

March 9, 2016 by 1 Comment

As mothers, we often work hard to make sure everyone around us is happy. We want our kids to be happy, as well as our spouses and our employers.  But, how often do you do things that make you happy?  Your happiness and well-being affect the rest of your family.  Just because we’re mothers, doesn’t mean that we can’t take time for ourselves.  Working mothers need to make an extra effort since they are pulled in multiple directions every day.  Today, we want you to start empowering yourself to live your best life.  Here are a few tips on how to be happier:

 


moms guide to happiness, relaxation, self-esteem, building confidence 

 

 

 

  1. Schedule Everything

Invest in a daily planner that you love, or just really utilize that smartphone, because planning out your week will really help you be happier in your day-to-day life. Don’t just use your schedule as a way of staying on task, but write down things you want to accomplish each day, like spending time with your kids. It may seem weird to check things like that off your to-do list, but you won’t view it as a chore.

  1. Get in Sync With Your Spouse

Compare schedules with your spouse and make sure you are both taking the time you need for yourselves. Trade off kid-watching duties so you can go grab some caffeine at Starbucks by yourself and he can hang out with his friends. You both need time to do things that are important to you. In the end, you will both be happier.

  1. Make the Most of Your Commute

We are happiest when we are productive, both at work and at home. Don’t waste your commute to work, especially if it’s long. Use it as time to listen to podcasts, audiobooks or even learn a new language. You may find a new hobby that you love and make the most of time that is precious.

You can also use your commute as a way to cool down after a long day at work by going through pros and cons of the day. Also, try getting into the mindset of going home after work. When you get home after working all day, you should be present with your kids. So instead of thinking about all the things you need to get done at your job, think about how you can spend quality time at home with them.

  1. Learn How to Say No

No could become the most important word in your vocabulary. If you feel like you didn’t spend enough time with your spouse and kids this week, feel obligated to drive them to birthday parties or play dates. Don’t feel guilty if you have to tell other no, even if they don’t like it. Your family is what is most important.

 

empowerment tips

 

  1. Make Time to Exercise

We all know that exercise can boost your mood and make you feel better about yourself. Carve out at least 10 to 15 minutes each day to get some exercise. Take a walk, pop in a workout DVD or just do some pushups and sit ups each night. You will feel happier and your body will thank you for it.

  1. Plan Intentional Time With Your Spouse

If you want to be happier, make sure your spouse is happy, too. Weekly or biweekly date nights are a must for a married couple. Be intentional with your time together. Turn off your cellphones and don’t talk about your kids’ schedules. Have fun!

  1. Don’t Compare Yourself With Other Moms

Most importantly, don’t compare yourself to other moms because it will just drag you down. It isn’t fair to you and it isn’t fair to those moms, either. You may think they have it better because they get to stay home with their kids, but you don’t know the whole story. Instead, know that you are setting a great example of a hardworking parent for your kids. Know that you are helping to provide for them and don’t take the time you get with them for granted.

Your happiness depends on you making time for yourself and for your family.  Learn how to be happier, and you will live a more productive life.  You may also like 6 Tips to Build Your Self-Esteem.

 

Image-JenPic
Jennifer  Landis is a hard-working, distance-running, yoga loving mama, health journalist, and blogger. Find more from Jennifer at her blog, Mindfulness Mama or follow her on Twitter @JenniferELandis.

 

 

 

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The Importance of Building Children’s Self Esteem

October 21, 2015 by

As parents we are responsible for building our children’s self-esteem. We have the ability to make or break our children.  I grow up in an alcoholic home.  Unfortunately, I remember being called names and hearing my mother call my dad names. I remember those times like yesterday.  The memories and scars never leave.  Today, I’m sharing parenting tips on building children’s self-esteem.  

In most homes families look forward to weekends.  In my home they were dreaded. The hell raising started on Thursdays so there would be an excuse for drinking the remainder of the weekend. I vowed that I would never subject my children to this kind of behavior and I didn’t.

 

 

child's self esteem

 

 

Fortunately, I took my responsibility as a parent seriously.  Because I was a single parent, it was doubly important that I ensure my child was well taken care of.  I made sure she had a high sense of self worth.  I worked hard to instill the following characteristics:

 Confidence – First, instill confidence in your children.  Also, help them believe in themselves and their abilities.  And make sure they know they can count on you for whatever goes right or wrong.  Demonstrating a positive attitude is a must too, and it’s a great way to build children’s self esteem. 

Compliments – Well done, you look pretty, handsome, great job, and I’m proud of you are great compliments.  Children should be praised often.  It will stay with them.

Unconditional Love –  Next, let your children know that you love them even when they make mistakes. It’s important that they know your love for them is unconditional.  As a result, they will always be safe.

Encouragement –  Most importantly, always encourage your children to work through fear.  Always let them know that it’s okay when they fail.  And encourage them to try again.  Be their biggest fan and cheerleader.

Responsibility – Giving children chores and holding them accountable will help with their confidence.

Respect  –  Furthermore, teaching your children about respect is imperative.  Having a high opinion of one’s self will help children have esteem for others.

Finally, fill your children’s self esteem bucket regularly.  It will help define who they are as an adult; therefore, it will become a driving force in their success.  Communicate, compliment and praise often. Success and failure is a normal part of life, and children need to know that both will be experienced throughout their life.  Although they may get down at times, striving for healthy self-esteem should be the goal for all of our children.  So, what can you add to the self-esteem bucket?

You may also like:  Values Help Build Kid’s Self-Confidence.

 

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Why I No Longer Use The Word Weak

January 30, 2015 by




This is a guest post did I for the blog A Peek Into My Paradise.  I’ve decided to no longer define who I am by Strengths and Weaknesses. Here’s Webster’s definition of weak:  

WEAK. 1 : lacking strength: as. a : deficient in physical vigor : feeble, debilitated. b : not able to sustain or exert much weight, pressure, or strain.

I have spent years defining what I have perceived to be my Strengths and Weaknesses.  There are areas that I wish to improve, but when I assessed my skills and qualities I had a hard time finding weaknesses.  Here’s why:

  • I have raised a daughter as single mother and sent her through college. 
  • Helping to raise 2 grandchildren
  • I’m managing a home 
  • I clean my home
  • I prepare the meals
  • I’m a laundress. 
  • I work outside out the home 40 hours per week.
  • Budgeting my income and paying the bills happens everyday. 
  • I grow and preserve my own vegetables.
  • I maintain the outside of my home with the exception of mowing the grass ( I have lawn service). But, I can pay for it, ha!
  • I’ve negotiated the deal and purchased my own vehicles since I was 18. 

 

I could continue my list, but you get my drift. Weak, how can I be weak. It takes strength and endurance to do all of the above on a regular basis.  Now I do have a few things that I have a hard time passing up like chocolate, coffee, and chips. These just happen to be things that I like to indulge in, they don’t make me who I am. Life beats us down enough, why contribute to the negativity by placing unflattering labels on yourself. 


I have accepted that I am a work in progress and ever evolving.  Because I don’t always meet my goals or I’m not perfect doesn’t mean that I lack strength. There are many factors that contribute to how much I can accomplish and what I accomplish. I have found that if I set goals and continuously working toward them, it reduces the stress that I place on myself. I think as women we try to accomplish too much and often end up with the weight of the world on our shoulders. When we can no longer bear the weight we see ourselves as weak or society sees us as weak.  


Because I’m not as physically strong as a man doesn’t mean that I’m weak.  That’s just the way I was made. The majority of the time, I don’t want to open the jar, hammer a stake in the ground, change a dirty tire or haul heavy items. I simply don’t want to break a nail, have back pain or prove how manly I am, ha.  Now don’t get me wrong, I can hammer, change a tire, shovel the driveway, and haul heavy items. I’ve been single for many years. I can get it done.    

     
I have found that setting priorities has helped me meet my ever changing goals. Nothing is more important to me than my family, so whatever goals I set they come after my family.  If I don’t achieve them during the year, I continue to work on them the following year. 

I’m adding weak to the list of items that I’ve tossed because I will never wear or use it again. Join me ladies, you’ll find that you will have a ton lifted off your shoulders and you will feel much better.  Replace the word Weaknesses on your list with  Things I Wish To Improve!  
   

Filed Under: Confidence Tagged With: , ,

Become the Best You: How to Empower Yourself

January 8, 2015 by
Today, I’m sharing tips on how to become the best you.  Each year I work to better myself and renew my faith.  Usually by December, I have run off the rails on more than one occasion.  However, I have learned to pick myself up, brush myself off and keep it moving. 
how to empower yourself

 

 

Here’s 4 tips on how to become the best you:

 

1.  Believe In Yourself – I’ve learned over the years to stop being so hard on myself.  I have a type-A personality so I strive for perfection and want things to be done right.  I’ve learned that things don’t always go according to planned, but that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.  Tomorrow is another day, and I just need to continue to believe in myself.

In my past life, I would stress when things didn’t go according to plan.  That behavior took up a lot of energy and left me feeling exhausted.  I would literally sleep through the alarm clock and feel like crap for the remainder of the day.  Since I’ve changed my attitude, I no longer set the alarm clock. I wake up refreshed, and I feel good enough to face the day and myself.

2. Turn Things Over to Higher Power – Because some things are beyond my control, I have learned to give it to my higher power. I am a woman of faith, and grow up in the church.  Most importantly, I do believe in God.  I think it is imperative to believe in someone greater than you and I.  Praying, reading the word and than letting things go works for me.  I have found peace with myself.  Furthermore, I have found peace with the world.  It’s not perfect and neither am I.

3.  Think Positive – I strive hard to keep negative thoughts out of my head.  I’ve learned to surround myself with positive people.  Because I surround myself with people that are positive and that I can learn from, my perspective on things have changed.

4.  Make Yourself A Priority – I’ve learned over the years that I’m a valuable commodity.  And I treat myself as such.  No matter what I have on my List Of Things To Do, I make time for me.  I book an appointment at a salon for a pedicure, read a good book, playing games on the computer, take a vacations or just sleep.  Making myself a priority energizes me and allows me to give freely to others.  When you feel good, you do good things.

We hope that you have found our tips on how to become your best self helpful.  Download the infographic here, and apply the tips to your life.  You will be glad you did.  You may also like the following posts:

Self Improvement:  Is Your Foundation On Solid Ground

5 Steps To Becoming A Confident Woman

 

 

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How to Empower Yourself Emotionally

November 17, 2014 by
Did you that people use emotional intelligent to achieve their goals and to build businesses.  When I went into management many years ago, I learned that my emotional intelligence would be just as important as my technical savvy.   Since I was expected to lead the organization’s visions whether I agreed with them or not, I would need to empower myself. 
My job was to get my employees on board and implement the organization’s plan.  I knew that I would need to be physically and emotionally healthy to carry out these tasks.  At the time I didn’t have a game plan, but I knew that self-improvement and self-development would become a priority.  How to empower yourself was a question that I needed answers to.   Today, I’m going to share tips on how to empower yourself emotionally.  

becoming empowered

 

First, emotional Intelligence is about self-control.  It’s about having absolute control over your emotions and your life.  It’s portraying  confidence and a high level of self-esteem even when you don’t feel it.  I always think of the saying, “Never let them see you sweat” when I think of emotional intelligence.  I read every book that I could find on emotional intelligence and went to work on myself.  Becoming empowered was the name of the game.

Since management was the last rung on the ladder of my career goals, I was determined to be successful.  My job was to manage a team of IT Specialists and help oversee a million dollar computer system.

I empowered myself by incorporating the following tips into my life.  This included on the job and in my personal life:

Learning to Say No – There’s power in that 2 letter word. It’s one of the most powerful words in the English language and has served me well over the course of the years. At one point I didn’t know how to say no. I was the go to person for everybody in the family. It started wearing on my health, so I had to make a major change in my life by deciding what was my problem and what was theirs. I learned to leave them with their problems.  As a result, they had to grow up and take responsibility for their life.  That freedom empowered me.

Learning to Relax – I started focusing on hobbies that I enjoyed, but neglected. I started scrap booking, crocheting and making other crafts. It’s important to found things you enjoy and just unwind.  It empowers you.

Let Go Of Guilt – Once I learned to say no I also learned to let go of guilt. I would feel guilty if I didn’t do what was being asked of me. Now I say what I mean and mean what I say.  Let the door hit you if you don’t like it. It is so freeing and empowering.

Focus on Solutions – I always told my employees to bring a solution when they bring me a problem. Being a part of a solution is empowering.  It’s simple, write down the problem and than write down a solution.  Make changes to your solution when or if it is needed.

Stay Positive – A positive attitude will take you a long way, and you will feel better about yourself.  Who wants to follow someone with a bad attitude?  People want to connect with positive energy.  They find it empowering!

Exercise Regularly – Get some form of exercise everyday.  I had to change my attitude toward exercising.  I hate it and would find any exercise to avoid it.  Previously I thought if I couldn’t get at least 30 minutes in it was unproductive.  So not true, 10, 15, 20 minutes is better than nothing.  I still haven’t mastered this one I’m a work in progress, but I do understand the importance and benefits so I’m striving to get better each day.

The biggest lesson that I learned on my emotional intelligence journey is that our emotions drive our actions. Your emotions can lead to your success or your failure.  Become steadfast, and don’t move unless you choose to be moved.  This determination has required me to remain emotionless at times.

I have learned that people look for reactions, and when you don’t give them one they have to rethink their game plan.  The greatest satisfaction is walking away and seeing them with a puzzled look on their face because you didn’t give them what they wanted.  That is empowerment.

Unfortunately, the business world still needs to deal with women’s issues. There are still men who think that women are too emotional and shouldn’t be in leadership positions.  On the other side of the spectrum, there are other women who try to press your buttons because they don’t want to see you successful either.  Becoming empowered and emotional intelligence will help you be successful in all areas of your life.

 



You may also like Finding Your Self-Esteem After Divorce and How I Deal With Toxic People.

Filed Under: Confidence, Empowerment Tagged With: , ,

Dealing With Toxic People In Your Life

November 8, 2014 by
Today, I’m sharing empowerment tips on dealing with toxic people.  For the past few months, I’ve felt a little down.  I’ve felt heavy, fatigued and at times ready to just throw my hands up in dismay.  Why, a toxic relationship.  I have learned over the course of the years to pay attention to my body and how I’m feeling. Once I get in touch with how I’m feeling, I step away and assess why.    
I ask myself, what’s new in my life? How do I feel after an encounter with a family member or friend? Is there something going on at work that’s bothering me? I ask these questions so I can pinpoint what’s happening.  At times I feel this way because of a stressful situation at work, but the majority of time it’s a toxic person who’s spawning poison my way. Toxic people will affect your health and pull you down.

self-confidence, how to deal with toxic people, toxic relationships

 

Over the years, I have learned that I stayed in relationships or friendships way too long.  I never liked giving up on people or things without giving 100% of myself.  But, I’ve learned that the other party must be willing to give 100% of themselves too. If not the relationship is one sided and I must walk away. Walking away has gotten easier for me.  I realized that no relationship is worth suffering over or not getting my needs meet.

I come from a toxic family.  My mother is as toxic as you can get. So, I am quite familiar with toxic people. Toxic people usually come from a dysfunctional background.  They’re usually harboring deep envy, anger or jealousy.  If they don’t get their emotions in check, they manifest in a harmful way.     

 

Dealing with toxic people

 

  • Dishonesty – Dishonest people are people who hid the truth or don’t tell the truth.  In my opinion, one is as bad as the other. When you’re not honest about who you are, what you’re doing or what’s happening in your life you’re depriving the other people of the ability to make judgments that are beneficial to them.
  • Ignoring You – When a person doesn’t return your calls, respond to your text messages or make time for you it can affect your self-esteem.  My motto is if I’m not a priority, you wont’ be one either.  Nobody is so busy that they can’t find the time to respond in some way.
  • Blaming Other People -Toxic people always blame others for their issues and problem.  They create drama, but try to turn things around and they become the victim.  They project themselves on you.  What is true about them, they say about you.
  • Sabotage – They underhandedly and sometimes overtly try to sabotage your happiness and goals. Deep down they really don’t want you to be happy or succeed.  And, they always find something wrong with what you’re trying to achieve.
  • Toxic People Will Pull You Down – They can and will eventually affect your health and your emotional well being. Their behavior causes drama and/or conflict and whatever the situation is the outcome will be negative.

Finally, I learned to run in the opposite direction from toxic people or limit their presence in my life. I see absolutely no benefit to having them around. They’re like quick sand, they will pull you down little by little and eventually you find yourself up to your neck in crap.  Who needs it. Learn to recognize and deal with toxic people before they grab hold of you and pull you down.

You may also like:  Toxic People Quotes

 

Filed Under: Confidence, Empowerment Tagged With: , , ,