self-confidence Archives - Page 2 of 2

The Importance of Building Children’s Self Esteem

October 21, 2015 by Rhonda Gales

As parents we are responsible for building our children’s self-esteem. We have the ability to make or break our children. I grow up in an alcoholic home. Unfortunately, I remember being called names and hearing my mother call my dad names. I remember those times like yesterday. The memories and scars never leave. Today, I’m sharing parenting tips on building children’s self-esteem.

In most homes families look forward to weekends. In my home they were dreaded. The hell raising started on Thursdays so there would be an excuse for drinking the remainder of the weekend. I vowed that I would never subject my children to this kind of behavior and I didn’t.

Fortunately, I took my responsibility as a parent seriously. Because I was a single parent, it was doubly important that I ensure my child was well taken care of. I made sure she had a high sense of self worth. I worked hard to instill the following characteristics:

Confidence – First, instill confidence in your children. Also, help them believe in themselves and their abilities. And make sure they know they can count on you for whatever goes right or wrong. Demonstrating a positive attitude is a must too, and it’s a great way to build children’s self esteem.

Compliments – Well done, you look pretty, handsome, great job, and I’m proud of you are great compliments. Children should be praised often. It will stay with them.

Unconditional Love – Next, let your children know that you love them even when they make mistakes. It’s important that they know your love for them is unconditional. As a result, they will always be safe.

Encouragement – Most importantly, always encourage your children to work through fear. Always let them know that it’s okay when they fail. And encourage them to try again. Be their biggest fan and cheerleader.

Responsibility – Giving children chores and holding them accountable will help with their confidence.

Respect – Furthermore, teaching your children about respect is imperative. Having a high opinion of one’s self will help children have esteem for others.

Finally, fill your children’s self esteem bucket regularly. It will help define who they are as an adult; therefore, it will become a driving force in their success. Communicate, compliment and praise often. Success and failure is a normal part of life, and children need to know that both will be experienced throughout their life. Although they may get down at times, striving for healthy self-esteem should be the goal for all of our children. So, what can you add to the self-esteem bucket?

You may also like: Values Help Build Kid’s Self-Confidence.

Filed Under: Character Building Tagged With: confidence, parenting advice, self-confidence, self-esteem

How to Empower Yourself Emotionally

November 17, 2014 by Rhonda Gales

Did you that people use emotional intelligent to achieve their goals and to build businesses. When I went into management many years ago, I learned that my emotional intelligence would be just as important as my technical savvy. Since I was expected to lead the organization’s visions whether I agreed with them or not, I would need to empower myself.

My job was to get my employees on board and implement the organization’s plan. I knew that I would need to be physically and emotionally healthy to carry out these tasks. At the time I didn’t have a game plan, but I knew that self-improvement and self-development would become a priority. How to empower yourself was a question that I needed answers to. Today, I’m going to share tips on how to empower yourself emotionally.

First, emotional Intelligence is about self-control. It’s about having absolute control over your emotions and your life. It’s portraying confidence and a high level of self-esteem even when you don’t feel it. I always think of the saying, “Never let them see you sweat” when I think of emotional intelligence. I read every book that I could find on emotional intelligence and went to work on myself. Becoming empowered was the name of the game.

Since management was the last rung on the ladder of my career goals, I was determined to be successful. My job was to manage a team of IT Specialists and help oversee a million dollar computer system.

I empowered myself by incorporating the following tips into my life. This included on the job and in my personal life:

Learning to Say No – There’s power in that 2 letter word. It’s one of the most powerful words in the English language and has served me well over the course of the years. At one point I didn’t know how to say no. I was the go to person for everybody in the family. It started wearing on my health, so I had to make a major change in my life by deciding what was my problem and what was theirs. I learned to leave them with their problems. As a result, they had to grow up and take responsibility for their life. That freedom empowered me.

Learning to Relax – I started focusing on hobbies that I enjoyed, but neglected. I started scrap booking, crocheting and making other crafts. It’s important to found things you enjoy and just unwind. It empowers you.

Let Go Of Guilt – Once I learned to say no I also learned to let go of guilt. I would feel guilty if I didn’t do what was being asked of me. Now I say what I mean and mean what I say. Let the door hit you if you don’t like it. It is so freeing and empowering.

Focus on Solutions – I always told my employees to bring a solution when they bring me a problem. Being a part of a solution is empowering. It’s simple, write down the problem and than write down a solution. Make changes to your solution when or if it is needed.

Stay Positive – A positive attitude will take you a long way, and you will feel better about yourself. Who wants to follow someone with a bad attitude? People want to connect with positive energy. They find it empowering!

Exercise Regularly – Get some form of exercise everyday. I had to change my attitude toward exercising. I hate it and would find any exercise to avoid it. Previously I thought if I couldn’t get at least 30 minutes in it was unproductive. So not true, 10, 15, 20 minutes is better than nothing. I still haven’t mastered this one I’m a work in progress, but I do understand the importance and benefits so I’m striving to get better each day.

The biggest lesson that I learned on my emotional intelligence journey is that our emotions drive our actions. Your emotions can lead to your success or your failure. Become steadfast, and don’t move unless you choose to be moved. This determination has required me to remain emotionless at times.

I have learned that people look for reactions, and when you don’t give them one they have to rethink their game plan. The greatest satisfaction is walking away and seeing them with a puzzled look on their face because you didn’t give them what they wanted. That is empowerment.

Unfortunately, the business world still needs to deal with women’s issues. There are still men who think that women are too emotional and shouldn’t be in leadership positions. On the other side of the spectrum, there are other women who try to press your buttons because they don’t want to see you successful either. Becoming empowered and emotional intelligence will help you be successful in all areas of your life.

Filed Under: Confidence, Empowerment Tagged With: self-confidence, self-empowerment, self-esteem

5 Tips To Becoming A Confident Woman

February 22, 2014 by Rhonda Gales

self-improvement, self-confidence, self-esteem

Have you seen women that exude an air of confidence and self-assurance. Sadly, you wish that you had the confidence and you could carry yourself in that manner. They seem to be able to conquer the world and achieve anything. As a result, you admire them and wonder how they reached that level. You secretly wish you had half of their skills and success. You ask, how do you become a confident woman?

Unfortunately, I was there at one point in my life. As a single mother, it was hard to imagine how I could ever reach such a level of confidence. I was barely able to pay my bills. I dreamed of making a six figure salary. So, I wanted to know how to get there. I wanted to be a strong mother, leader, a mentor and manager. The fact that I couldn’t achieve success on my own became a reality. Therefore, I needed guidance and advice on how to start my journey on becoming a confident woman.

Our roles as mothers, spouses, partners and influencers is huge. We need to display confidence around our children. We also need to be confident around our spouses and significant others at times. Additionally, we have a responsibility to others that we influence in our life and on the job. Building confidence is a process. It doesn’t happen over night, but if you continually enhance your skills you will become a confident woman.

Here are a few traits that I believe all women need to become confident:

Define Your Belief System – First, these are your core values that remain unchanged. They can include but are not limited to being ethical, family-oriented, reliable, trustworthy. Define them and stand firm.
Be Consistent – You must be consistent in all areas of your life for the most part, but be flexible when needed. If you’re inconsistent you won’t be taken seriously by your family, co-workers or anyone else that you influence.
Become An Achiever – Next, set goals and make a plan to achieve them. It’s important to be an example for your children in this area. Achieving goals requires stamina and hard work.
Be Positive – I read daily affirmations to help me stay positive.
Have a sense of humor – Last, know that you will make mistakes along the way. Be able to laugh, pick yourself up and move on.

Finally, if you don’t want to obtain a mentor, surround yourself with positive people. Especially, those who have arrived at the destination that you’re trying to achieve. Ask for advice when you need it. Unfortunately, there isn’t a road map how to achieve success in your business or on how to be a good mother. Most importantly, becoming a confident woman and believing in yourself will help you achieve your goals in all areas of your life. Your spouse, partner and children will see it and believe it. Take the first step to becoming a confident woman, and everything else will fall into place. You may also like Why I Am Thankful For The Stumbles In My Life.