This Grandma Doesn’t Wear Depends

grandparents, grandmothers, grandma

Why do people associate grandmas with being old, gray haired, and wearing Depends?  Now I may have a few gray hair, but this grandma doesn’t wear Depends.  I’ve have some issues when I have coughed or sneezed, but when I do reach the point where I need Depends, will Depends define who I  am?  I think not. 

Here’s a picture of me that was taken of me last year during a promotion that I did for JC Penny’s Portraits, and the second picture with my daughter approximately 5 years ago at a family function. Do I look like an old, gray-haired woman who’s peeing on herself in either?

So you’re wondering what prompted this post, right? Another blogger, yes I said another blogger. Long story short, I was complimenting her and the fact that I liked various things about her site. As the conversation progressed, she stated that she had quite a few grandmas who visited her blog and she didn’t know why. She gently invoked Depends in the conversation. My initial response was is she trying to throw shade? I’m so glad that I have matured and handle things much differently than I did in my 20s, 30s even 40s because: 


1.  I’m the queen of reading your ass and it ain’t pretty. Yeah, Bye Felicia! 

2.  I would have left you with your mouth hanging open and words burned so deep into the recesses of your brain, you would be shaking your head for the rest of your life trying to get rid me. 

However, I don’t see a need to go there anymore so I responded by laughing and stating that I have a few creaks and some other things going on, but I wasn’t close to Depends. I also stated that I was on her site because I was looking for the same things that she and other mothers were looking for with their children. Do our positions or the differences in our ages change that?

 


I further stated that my responsibilities with my grandchildren are no different from her raising her children.  When my grandchildren are in my care and custody, I raise them as if I gave birth to them. It is my job to guide and lead them in the right direction just like their parents. The only difference between their parents and me, I have more money.  She seemed to get it after that, but did it really require an explanation?  

Being a grandmother is quite a prestigious position and one that I will wear with honor even when I reach the Depends stage.  As a grandmother I want to tell you a few things that you should not do with me:

1. Assume that I’m old and gray and ready for a rocker.  I have a lot of fire inside of me and I’m not close to throwing in the towel and rocking the rest of my life away just yet.  

2. Assume that I’m technically challenged and not cool. I have a smart phone, text, use a camera phone, have an SLR digital with long range lens, a laptop, a tablet, a GPS in my vehicle, flat screen TVs, and any other electrical gadgets on the market that I feel I want to buy and can use them. 

3.  Assume that I don’t have any obligations to my grandchildren.  I’m just as obligated to my grandchildren as my daughter and son-in-law. I contribute to their upbringing, clothing and shelter too. I would die for those babies, wrap myself around a pole and shake my groove thing if I had to so that I could take care of them. Thank goodness, I don’t have to resort to those tactics. I know you’re as happy about that as I am. 

4.  Assume that I don’t know the likes and dislikes of my grandchildren or the latest on the market. I know their favorite cartoon characters, favorite TV channels, latest clothing fads, what sneakers are cool, up on the movies and games, know the great vacation spots, and can make their favorite foods and treats. More so than my 30 year old children. That’s right, they look to me for the information because they don’t know. They love coming to Mawmaw’s too. My grandchildren don’t want to go home because my house is the bomb.    

5. Assume you can say or do whatever you want to me. No you can’t, so be prepared to get a response that you may not like if you don’t come correctly. I require the same respect that I give you. 

As bloggers networking is important, we can all learn from each other. As bloggers and human beings, we all want to connect, build a following and interact. I really don’t think any of us want to talk to ourselves when we write and publish a post, so isn’t our goal to connect with readers and to share what we’ve written? I believe that we have the same goals as parents and grandparents.    

I understand having a target audience, and  a niche. Quite frankly, I write about what I love which is family, gardening, crafts, quotes and motivating others. My target audience is parents who are in the age range of 20 – 60 who are looking for parenting tips/advice, ways to save on food expense, budgeting, a little motivation and lots of laughs. Not once have I wondered why anyone was on my site because of their perceived age or position in life. I have worked hard to make Mother 2 Mother warm, inviting and inclusive!  Everyone is welcome.   


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  How To Establish Boundaries For Grandparents

How To Establish Grandparent Boundaries

Today, I’m sharing parenting advice on establishing grandparent boundaries.  These grandparent tips will help establish a respectful relationship with your children and grandcildren.  I’ve been a proud grandmother for 13 years.

Most importantly, I see my role as their Mawmaw just as important as my daughter’s. First, I want the best for my grandchildren just like my daughter and son-in-law.  So, today I’m offering tips on how you can grandparent successfully too.

 

 

grandparent tips

As grandparents we have an obligation to ensure our grandchildren are healthy, nourished, clothed, educated, have a roof over their heads, and they enjoy life.  It’s important that we, as grandparents, create memories of them spending time with us as well.  How many children do you know that protest going to visit their grandparents?  There’s a reason for that, and that’s why we have the title “Grand”.

It’s a special relationship, one that differs somewhat from raising our sons and daughters.  We have more experience in the parenting field, know the history of the family, and most times are in a better financial position than we were when we were raising our children.  My daughter and son-in-law depend on me to assist in the upbringing of their children.  But, they made it clear that they are the parents and I need to abide by their rules and wishes.  Establishing grandparent boundaries is simple, just have a conversation  and talk about expectations.

Next, accepting my daughter’s wishes was a hard hard pill for me to swallow.  However, I knew that I did not want to jeopardize my relationship with my grandchildren or my children  So I swallowed the pill.  There are times when they are being disciplined that I really have to bit my tongue.  But, I have learned to be respectful.  Because I have made a conscious decision to not overstep boundaries, I have been able to build a great relationship with my grandchildren without offending my children by following these grandparent tips.

 

grandparent tips

 

Here’s a few tips on establishing grandparent boundaries:

 

  • Don’t cross the lines –  Children need to understand the roles of the adults in their life and see that you’re on the same page as mom and dad.
  • Establish traditions with your grandchildren –  Each year I take Xavier to the pumpkin patch and make sure he gives Santa his Christmas list.  Zarriah is now old enough to be included in these traditions.
  • Create memories that are only available at grandma and granddad’s – I make special pancakes and waffles for their breakfast when they’re visiting.  We have craft time, go out to lunch or dinner, and they love MawMaw’s chicken wings. My daughter does not attempt to duplicate any of these special moments.
  • If you’re divorced and I am, demonstrate that you can co-grandparent – So, I ensure my ex-husband, Ga Ga, is involved in activities at my home when they’re visiting.
  • Become involved in their school and after school activities – I make an effort to meet teachers, attend school and sporting events etc.  I want to know who’s responsible for their education, who’s providing child care and I want them to know me.
  • Keep the children on track – Stay on schedule with bedtimes, bath times, manners and discipline.  You don’t want to cause any setbacks for the parents.
  • Be creative – Also, tell them a story about your upbringing or their parents.  My granddaughter loves for me to make up stores about her being a princess and including family members.
  • Become the family historian – Talk about other family members and your memories of them.
  • Polish your craft skills – Children love making things for parents and grandparents.
  • Take your grandchildren on a road trip – Spend a few days at the beach, camping or snow tubing.  They will remember it forever.
  • Never discuss conflicting issues in front of the children – If there are disagreements on raising them, discipline concerns etc., discuss them away from the children.
  • Keep the lines of communication open – Let your children know that you’re available for advice on parenting or just to listen. My daughter values my opinion on raising the children and life.

 

 

My daughter enjoys listening to me tell the children stories and watching us make cookie and brownie treats. She looks forward to me visiting and spending time with the children.  Fortunately, she knows that I respect her as a mother.  In return, she respects me as their grandmother. Many times she wants to participate in the activities as well.  As a result, it’s a great feeling when she calls and asks when I’m coming to visit.

So, my advice to parents is to accept that grandparents play a special role in a child’s life. We’re sugar queens and kings and we become sneaky creatures. Yes, our perspective on things have changed from when we raised you. We can justify anything that our grandchildren do as long as they’re not bringing harm to themselves. Last, our job was to get our children out of the house, however, as grandparents our job is to get the grandchildren in.  Finally, I hope that our tips on establishing grandparent boundaries will be useful.

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15 Celebrity Grandparents

celebrities, Hollywood

Being a grandmother is one of the greatest joys of my life.  It’s a role that’s quite different from when I was raising my daughter.  I don’t know how to describe it, only to say that it’s special.  I try hard not to cross lines that have been set by daughter and son-in-law as parents, but I set my own rules when they’re in my care.  

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