Why do people associate grandmas with being old, gray haired, and wearing Depends? Now I may have a few gray hair, but this grandma doesn’t wear Depends. I’ve have some issues when I have coughed or sneezed, but when I do reach the point where I need Depends, will Depends define who I am? I think not.
Here’s a picture of me that was taken of me last year during a promotion that I did for JC Penny’s Portraits, and the second picture with my daughter approximately 5 years ago at a family function. Do I look like an old, gray-haired woman who’s peeing on herself in either?
So you’re wondering what prompted this post, right? Another blogger, yes I said another blogger. Long story short, I was complimenting her and the fact that I liked various things about her site. As the conversation progressed, she stated that she had quite a few grandmas who visited her blog and she didn’t know why. She gently invoked Depends in the conversation. My initial response was is she trying to throw shade? I’m so glad that I have matured and handle things much differently than I did in my 20s, 30s even 40s because:
1. I’m the queen of reading your ass and it ain’t pretty. Yeah, Bye Felicia!
2. I would have left you with your mouth hanging open and words burned so deep into the recesses of your brain, you would be shaking your head for the rest of your life trying to get rid me.
However, I don’t see a need to go there anymore so I responded by laughing and stating that I have a few creaks and some other things going on, but I wasn’t close to Depends. I also stated that I was on her site because I was looking for the same things that she and other mothers were looking for with their children. Do our positions or the differences in our ages change that?
I further stated that my responsibilities with my grandchildren are no different from her raising her children. When my grandchildren are in my care and custody, I raise them as if I gave birth to them. It is my job to guide and lead them in the right direction just like their parents. The only difference between their parents and me, I have more money. She seemed to get it after that, but did it really require an explanation?
1. Assume that I’m old and gray and ready for a rocker. I have a lot of fire inside of me and I’m not close to throwing in the towel and rocking the rest of my life away just yet.
2. Assume that I’m technically challenged and not cool. I have a smart phone, text, use a camera phone, have an SLR digital with long range lens, a laptop, a tablet, a GPS in my vehicle, flat screen TVs, and any other electrical gadgets on the market that I feel I want to buy and can use them.
3. Assume that I don’t have any obligations to my grandchildren. I’m just as obligated to my grandchildren as my daughter and son-in-law. I contribute to their upbringing, clothing and shelter too. I would die for those babies, wrap myself around a pole and shake my groove thing if I had to so that I could take care of them. Thank goodness, I don’t have to resort to those tactics. I know you’re as happy about that as I am.
4. Assume that I don’t know the likes and dislikes of my grandchildren or the latest on the market. I know their favorite cartoon characters, favorite TV channels, latest clothing fads, what sneakers are cool, up on the movies and games, know the great vacation spots, and can make their favorite foods and treats. More so than my 30 year old children. That’s right, they look to me for the information because they don’t know. They love coming to Mawmaw’s too. My grandchildren don’t want to go home because my house is the bomb.
5. Assume you can say or do whatever you want to me. No you can’t, so be prepared to get a response that you may not like if you don’t come correctly. I require the same respect that I give you.
As bloggers networking is important, we can all learn from each other. As bloggers and human beings, we all want to connect, build a following and interact. I really don’t think any of us want to talk to ourselves when we write and publish a post, so isn’t our goal to connect with readers and to share what we’ve written? I believe that we have the same goals as parents and grandparents.
I understand having a target audience, and a niche. Quite frankly, I write about what I love which is family, gardening, crafts, quotes and motivating others. My target audience is parents who are in the age range of 20 – 60 who are looking for parenting tips/advice, ways to save on food expense, budgeting, a little motivation and lots of laughs. Not once have I wondered why anyone was on my site because of their perceived age or position in life. I have worked hard to make Mother 2 Mother warm, inviting and inclusive! Everyone is welcome.
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You tell 'em! Being a grandma does not equal being or looking old. You carried yourself well with the situation.
Hi Terra. Thanks for the support. I'm amazed at how so many people make assumptions about others. So glad that I have learned to ignore and leave people with their own words.
Every once in a while we Grandmas just have to get on our soap boxes and explain things to some people! You did a great job in this post! You are beautiful and not only do you look young and vibrant you act young and vibrant! And I really would like to know who these grandmas are that are wearing these Depends because I don't no a single one that does! The ones I know wear Fitbits!
Like you, J, Lisa and a couple of others, I am very close to my daughter and I am very active in my granddaughter's life and I wouldn't have it any other way. Amara LOVES coming here She loves it that Grampy and I will sit and listen to her talk about anything and everything. Like you I know all her favorite computer games, we Google hangout almost daily and she got my hand me down DSLR camera for Christmas! I am not old!
I am surprised the J didn't rant about the marketing efforts we grandma bloggers receive, she and I have discussed it at length over email. We don't need hearing aids nor do we need someone from the company to write a post promoting it to other grandmas on my blog. For free! Same for direct mail — I am so tired of getting funeral home promotions!
Thanks for being YOU!
For starters, you look like your daughter's (slightly!) older sister! You are both beautiful, vibrant young ladies!
My site welcomes everyone, too. Like you, I don't analyze why someone finds it interesting. Every visit is a compliment.
I love the list of assumptions you shot down with such feisty, rapid fire accuracy! I also think retailers who dismiss grandparents are making a foolish mistake. An upscale online children's clothing site that I liberally purchase from accepts product reviews. I've noticed that about 80% of those are from people who describe themselves as 60+ years old. We're obviously not too senile to fill our carts to brimming and click "purchase!"
I really enjoyed this post because I am as involved with and committed to my grandchildren as you are. Our children are wise to welcome us and our grandchildren are fortunate because of it!
Thanks J, many people say we look alike. My daughter and I have become very good friends over the years and I'm proud of that. Just like I'm proud of being a grandma and my beautiful grandchildren. You're exactly right, it's the grandmas that are filling the carts and clicking purchase. I told her that too. Most young couples don't have money to spent in that manner. I know I didn't when I was my daughter's age, but I've been blessed and can do it now. I know numerous grandmas like you, Petula, Lisa at Grandma Briefs, Kc and many others who are blogging and are committed to the grandchildren. My daughter and SIL are thankful for my role and contribution to the grandchildren. Thanks for the support.
I want to feel a little indignant about her comment, but I won't take it personally. Some individuals only see black and white when there is a lot of gray in many situations. I like this post and the fact that you responded with kind words. Great post for grandmothers like us who still look young and take pride in our new grand role.
I was a little insulted to be honest Petula, but after I thought I about it I laughed. Her remarks where a reflection of her not me. I have learned to not waste valuable energy on ignorant comments. If you take a look at the grandmothers on the web, we are not old, gray or wearing Depends. We are blogging, supporting each other and hanging with anybody who wants to roll with us. Thanks for the support.