Helping Your Teenager Through Tough Times

Today, I’m sharing parenting advice on helping your teenager.  As a parent, we never want to see our children going through tough times. While challenges in life can be beneficial for their long-term development, that doesn’t make it any easier to watch them go through it.  It’s in our nature to want to help them, and make their lives a little easier.  Especially, when they are still young.

 

tips for helping your teenager

 

 

 

Tips on helping your teenager through tough times:

 

Start a Dialogue

Perhaps the best thing you can do is try to start a dialogue with your teenager. Sit down and have a chat with them. Learn what’s going on and how they are feeling about it. Some teenagers are more than happy to have someone to vent to.  Others will want to keep things to themselves and not answer your questions. In this scenario, do your best to be understanding and don’t pry. Just let them know you are around if they want to talk and occasionally offer again.

Starting a dialogue is the best way to learn about your child’s life and how you can help.  Avoid reading a diary or just guessing about what’s happening in their life. If you can get it straight from your child, this will be better for everyone involved.

 

Offer to Help

Once you have a better idea about what’s going on, you can look for ways to help. You may not be able to fix their problem entirely, but you may be able to lend a helping hand. For example, if they are struggling with schoolwork, you can offer to help or get a tutor.  Or, maybe you can let them off the hook on their chores for the week so that they have a little more time to get their work done or relax.

Another way you can help is by providing them with some tools to help themselves. For example, if they are regularly stressed out, you can offer books on stress management or meditation. Being a parent is about teaching your kids to handle problems.  This will ensure they are equipped to handle problems when they are out of the nest.  So, think about the ways you have solved similar problems.  Do some research online, then make some educated suggestions.

 

Provide Distractions

Sometimes your kids just need a distraction from whatever problem they are facing. If you want to help them, look for something that will distract them for a while. For example, if your teen has been spending the entire weekend studying for final exams take them out for ice cream.  Or, make a trip to the mall.

Maybe your teenager is currently in a fight with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Rather than having them spend all day inside upset about it, offer to take them to a movie. Sometimes getting your mind off things for just a few hours can help to put things in perspective and change your mood. It’s important that you teach your kids not only how to solve their problems, but how to have fun.

 

 

helping your teenager

 

Give Them Space

Sometimes, there’s just nothing you can do at the moment for your teenager. They don’t want to talk, they don’t want your help, and all your attempts at a distraction are ignored. At times like this, it may just be better to give them some space. We all need our own time and space to work things out and teenagers are no different. Let them shut themselves away in their room for a day, then try to help them out again the following day.

 

Seek Additional Treatment

Finally, sometimes your teenager will be facing an issue that requires more than a day at the movies. Teenagers can face some very difficult times, and when this happens, they may need professional help to get through it.  If you find that your child is really having a hard time, look for a therapist they can talk to or consider teen residential treatment. Being a good parent often means getting your teenager the help they need, even if it doesn’t come from you.

We hope you use a few of the tips the next time you’re helping your teenager through a tough time. There’s no simple solution to helping your kid – all you can do is be there for them and try different things until your teen is feeling better.

How to Deal with Teens and Respond Appropriately

The idea that all parents are going to encounter a rebellious teen is far from the truth. Certain teens are easier to deal with than others.  Even within the same family system.  So, we have parenting tips on how to deal with teens in a constructive way.  Regardless of the struggle with your teen, you want them to make decisions that won’t have a negative impact on their future.  This pertains to things like driving if they have been drinking or being on either side of a teen pregnancy.

The best thing that we can do as parents is to be as involved in their lives without being overbearing.  Additionally, this helps a parent recognize if their teen’s moods or behaviors are changing.  This could be signs that they are having trouble at school, experiencing emotional problems, or having trouble in their personal relationships. The following are problems parents can encounter with teens.

 

 

raising teens

 

 

Grades Are Plummeting

One of the first signs of a problem with a teen is that of their grades dropping. This is not the time to start accusing your teen of anything, but rather ask why their grades are falling.  Often times this is a sign of something like bullying or even substance abuse.  However, there is a chance that your teen is not living up to their potential and might need extra help in school.  Furthermore, teachers who are not of the highest quality just need their students to pass the standardized test rather learn the material.  Getting the students to pass the standardized test is all that is needed for job security.  Check the on-line portals to ensure your student is completing assignments and studying for tests.

Practicing Unsafe Sex

Practicing unsafe sex can lead to various diseases as well as pregnancy. Bringing a child into the world is nothing a teen should have to deal with.  Birth control and other types of contraception are easy to obtain.  Consider options when you’re wondering how to deal with teens. Also, setting ground rules is important.  Don’t allow the significant other of your teen to sleep over.  This is simply asking for trouble. Educate your teen about safe sex.  Remember, preaching abstinence might lead them to avoid birth control because they want to discuss sex with you.

 

 

tips on teens

 

Drug Use

Drug use can be tough to detect if your teen makes a beeline for their room once they arrive home.  The last thing that you want as a parent is to figure out your teen is on drugs.  But, their addiction is now out of control. Marijuana probably is not going to ruin your teen’s life unless they are arrested for possession of the drug.  Marijuana can impact the growing brain negatively.  So, educate your teen on marijuana.  It is widely available, especially in states where recreational use is legal.  Drug testing a teen that you suspect of drug use can be done.  Home tests are affordable, and they can help keep your teen from falling into a life of destruction.

Alcohol Abuse

Alcohol abuse can impact a person of any age, religion, race, or gender as well as impacts all levels of the socioeconomic ladder.  Fortunately, alcohol can be easier for a parent to detect due to the smell and impact it has on an individual.  The one thing that you need to consider if your teen has been drinking daily is a supervised detox. The last thing you want is your teen to have a seizure due to the effects of stopping daily alcohol use immediately. Take the time to talk to your teen about how alcohol abuse can impact them now and in the future.

Teen Arrest Jeopardizing Future

If your teen is arrested this is not the time to show them tough love.  Depending on their age, certain arrests can impact their future.  A drug related arrest can lead to a student who has been accepted into a college or university having their admission revoked.  For time arrests for a teen with the right lawyer, it is possible that your teen can enter drug education program or outpatient rehab.  Additionally, they may have the offense wiped from their record.

Noll Law Office, a criminal defense lawyer in Springfield, IL notes “You need to know that the attorney you hire has the training, knowledge and experience to defend you or your loved ones. When your future is at risk, there is no alternative but to obtain the best criminal defense lawyer available.”  An arrest can be a wakeup call for your teen.  But, do not let their arrest impact the rest of their life if you can help it!

This is just a shot list on how to deal with teens.  React with a plan in mind rather than flying off the handle.  You should implement this response even if your teen does need a good verbal reprimand.  The teenage years only last a while.  As a result, make sure that you help set your teen up for success in life.

How To Get Kids Off Their Phones

These days mobile phones are common place for children as young as 3 years old. The world is a completely different place from when we were younger.   Because of this, it can be hard to know where to draw the line with technology and our children.  Today, I’m sharing parenting tips on how to get kids off phones.  

 

 

how to get kids off their phones

 

 

There’s nothing wrong with letting your child watch peppa pig or play Final Fantasy 15 for an hour in the evenings.  However, when the hour turns into a large chunk of the day it should become a concern.  If you are struggling with how to get kids off their phones we have a few tips:

Go somewhere with no reception

How to get kids off their phones is a question many parents are pondering.  Another suggestion is to have them pay attention to the wider world.  For example, simply take them somewhere where there is no cell reception.  Of course, in towns and cities you will never find an area which is completely void of cell phone reception.  However, if you venture out to the countryside you should be successful.  Involve your children in nature for awhile.  You can benefit in several way by spending the day hiking in the countryside.  You will bond as a family and a hike contribute to your health.   Most importantly, you will be encouraging them to stop and look at the world around them.  Invite them to take photos of what will remind them of a family outing.  They will gain tangible connections to the world around them and gain an appreciation for nature.

Start a project

How to get kids off their phone you ask?  Offer additional things for the kids to do.  By doing a fun activity or starting a project as a family you will allow your child to focus on something other than their phone.  Furthermore, they will learn new skills along the way.  If you have smaller children build a tree or playhouse. Kids love to climb and play, and they also love to have their own space to do things.  By giving them the task of helping to build a treehouse, they will be much happier and learn new skills which they can use later on in life. They will learn about measurements, colors, and building materials.

 

how to get kids off their phones

Limit Apps

With the number of mobile games that exist, it can feel as if your kids will never get off their devices.  However, as a parent you have the power to control what they do.  Limit how much and what your children download per month.  Set a limit on what games they play and how long they play them. They may get bored and stop playing it all together.  It’s the perfect way to control their gaming habits.

Use Digital Currency

Before you panic we aren’t talking about letting the kids loose with bitcoins.  However, the idea of paying for what you get is actually a brilliant way on how to get kids ooto limit the time they spend playing on their phones. For example, if you were to allow your child a budget of $30 for a month, they would have to spend this money every time they wanted to watch a film on Netflix or play a game online. You can then control how much time they spend on their phone because an hour of use will cost them $1 each time. They will therefore only realistically be able to use their phone for 1 hour each day.

Phone Stack It

If you have never heard of phone stack?  It’s a way to stop people from getting distracted when they are eating dinner or out with family and friends.  The idea is to place everyone’s phone in the center of the table in a pile.  The first person to pick up their phone is the one who has to pay for lunch or do a forfeit. At home you can do this when you sit down for your evening meal. Whoever picks up their phone first will have to clear the table and wash dishes.  This will be a great way to stop your kids playing on their phones.  The last thing they want to do is chores!

Rewards for work

Another way to get your kids off their phones is to set up a reward system.  For example, when your kids complete their chores or homework, they will earn an hour to play on their phones or watch a show on Netflix.  Additionally, this can also apply to not picking up their phones during family dinners and movie nights.  By motivating your child to receive an award, they may be more receptive to cooperating.

Give them a fun outing

Finally, another idea of how to get kids off their phones is a trip.  It can a trip to a theme park, the zoo or even a day at the beach. You will reward your child for not spending more than an hour a day on their phone.  It will teach your child a valuable lesson about earning rewards.  Most importantly, it will teach your child to value the world and all that is has to offer.  Besides, it can be just as fun as playing on their phone.

 

Kid’s Driving Tips for Parents

Today, I’m sharing parenting advice on kid’s driving tips for parents. Learning to drive is a key milestone in a child’s life.  Thanks to the demands of the modern world, it’s up there with learning how to walk and talk.  But unlike those early activities, the stakes are much higher.  Simply because of the inherent danger of driving around a 4000-pound piece of metal.  As a result, the first year of driving also brings stress for many parents.

 

 

kid's driving tips

 

 

 

Kid’s Driving Tips for Parents:

First, the statistics on driving accidents are concerning for parents.  Around a quarter of all accidents on the road involve people aged 22 and under.  So, underscoring the dangers of being a young driver is very important.  Most importantly, mom and dad must set boundaries.  Here’s some advice for surviving your kid’s first year of driving.

 

Buy Umbrella Insurance

Umbrella insurance is designed to cover all of your needs, including auto and home. The good thing about umbrella insurance is that it is fully comprehensive.  Normally, it’s also cheaper than buying insurance separately.  Teens are usually dangerous drivers because of their inexperience.  Umbrella Insurance is an excellent way to make sure that your family finances are protected in the event of an accident.  For example, Umbrella policies will cover damage your child caused to people or property.  This could possibly prevent the family from falling into bankruptcy.

 

 

teen driving tips

 

 

 

Establish Firm Boundaries

We all know that the way instructors teach and the way people actually drive are two different things.  As a result, parents must protect their kids.  Set clear boundaries for children.  Make clear that they must obey the rules of the road or there will be consequences.  Find resources like this one to brush up on your skills, free online resources for driving tests.  Discuss the possibly of them going to jail for breaking the law and the penalty of speeding tickets.  Also, ban talking on the phone or texting while they are driving.

 

Get Breakdown Coverage

Once your child has a car, they’ll be using it to go all over town and possibly the surrounding area.  There will be holidays, camping trips and even road trips, all thanks to their newfound freedom.  However, cars don’t care about how much fun your child may be having.  Cars can break down at the most inconvenient moments.  A broken down card that leaves your kid stranded is no fun.  So, it’s a good idea to make sure that they have breakdown coverage.  Paying directly for the recovery of a vehicle can cost hundreds of dollars.  So, make sure their car is covered.

Most breakdown services allow you to pay a monthly bill directly. Some car insurance businesses allow you to add on breakdown cover to your policy.  This often saves you money in the process.  We hope our kids driving tips was beneficial.

10 Ideas To Create Mother Daughter Memories

Today, we’re sharing parenting tips on creating mother daughter  memories. It seems like only yesterday that we gave birth, sent them off to kindergarten, and read them bed time stories.  Before we know it, they’re asking for the car keys and eventually heading out the door to live life on their own.  So, we need to capture memories while we can.  

 

 

mother and daughter activities, creating memories with girls

 

 

When I was raising my daughter I decided to create mother daughter memories for us.  You know those special days when it’s just the two of you talking about boys, finding the perfect dress, eating ice cream or doing each other’s nails.  My daughter and I did lots of family activities together.  These are those special moments that I’m talking about now.  The days when I left the office early and headed to the school to pick her up for a day of fun.  Those Saturdays when I left the laundry and the cleaning just to spend time with her.  Those days when it’s just the two of us bonding and being friends.  These are a perfect ways to create memories of those Mother Daughter days.

I created Mother Daughter Memories when my daughter was a teen. That’s when it dawned on me that she was growing up fast, and would soon be heading to college.  She would be meeting new people and doing different things.  I had to make the few years that we had left together count.  I’m so thankful that I did, we still talk about those days.  I’m encouraging you to do the same.

Let me place emphasis on the two of you.  This wasn’t difficult for me because I only had one child, but if you have more than one, spend that quality time with each daughter. It’s important that they get that individual attention.  You want to make them feel special, as if they’re the only person besides you in the world.  It’s an opportunity to share things that happened when you were growing up or maybe they will share an embarrassing time in their life or a secret. It’s unlikely they will do this with others around. There will be times when you will find yourself looking at each other and giggling, because only the two of you know about what was shared.  It’s such a great feeling.  Everything is not for everybody, so you will need to create memories that fit into your lifestyle.  meaningful to you.

 

How to Create Mother Daughter Memories:

 

  1. Shop for Special Occasion Dresses – We would spend the day visiting boutiques to select party dresses, dresses for her junior high school dances, and later her homecoming and prom dresses.  We looked forward to this day every year from junior high to her senior year of high school.
  2. Spa Treatments – Nothing like being seated next to each other at the spa getting our nails done and saying nothing.  Just enjoying each other’s company.
  3. Trips To Dairy Queen –  My daughter loved strawberry sundaes and I loved their chocolate cones. We had some much fun laughing and enjoying our treats.
  4. Looking At The Christmas lights –  This speaks for itself.  We would spend hours just driving through neighborhoods being in awe. To this day, Christmas is a special time for us and lights are included.
  5. Going Out To Lunch or Dinner – Apple Bee’s was my daughter’s favorite place to eat growing up.  She loved their lemonade.  We would sit for hours and talk about everything and everybody.  It’s funny she won’t enter the place now.  Ruth Chris is one of her favorite eating places. So glad she has a husband to pay the bill for that one.
  6. Watching Movies  We would spend the day watching movies on Saturdays.  One of our favorites movies to watch was Gone With The Wind and of course Girl Flicks. When one of our favorites is on now, she calls to let me know.
  7. Sharing A Beach Week-end  – Every year I would take my daughter and 3 of her friends to the beach for a week-end.  Ocean City, MD was the go to at that point in our life. The interesting thing about this trip is that I have a bridge phobia, and I had to drive the girls across the Chesapeake Bay Bridge. The bridge is about 4.5 miles long.  I can drive across bridges, but I’m holding my breath, praying, counting and anything else I can think of.  I drive slow and look straight ahead. It doesn’t matter if the bridge is long or short.  The effect is the same for me. To this day, my daughter doesn’t know what bridges do to me.
  8. Spending the Day At a Book Fair We would spend the day at the book fair browsing through isles and isles of books.  We would take our selections home and plan when we would spend the day reading them.
  9. Read Your Favorite Books We would curl up on the sofa and read our favorite book at the time.
  10. See A Show – One of our favorite bonding moments was when we went to see a ballet or Alvin Ailey.  We still look for shows that we can see together.

I hope my bonding moments have inspired you to create Mother Daughter Memories.  You don’t have to spend a fortune, find activities within your budget and they will love you regardless of what’s in your purse.  If you haven’t already, be sure to subscribe to Mother 2 Mother before you leave.  You may also like Making Memories.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Preparing Your Teens For Adulthood

Teens know everything, right? So, it only makes sense that they’re ready to tackle the world at the tender age of 16.   Today, we’re sharing parenting tips on preparing teens for adulthood.  Next, they think they have all the knowledge and skills necessary not just to survive, but thrive in the big bad world. However, as parents we know the truth. Sure, there are some things that your child may have learned in school that weren’t available to us. These days schools are teaching Computer Science, Parenting, and more advanced classes on Government and Politics.

 

 

 

parenting, teenagers, parenting tips

 

“Don’t be in such a hurry to grow up. Trust me, life will still be there when you’re grown.” Wise words from my Grandma Blanche.

 

However, there are some key fundamental skills your child that you must implement in preparing your teens for adulthood.  Teens should be equipped  before leaving the nest – whether going off to college or moving out on their own.

Let’s discuss a few of these skills:

Grocery shopping – When our kids got their driver’s license, one of their new chores was going to the grocery store with cash. This taught them:

  1. Comparison shopping
  2. Budgeting 
  3. Communication skills (you know teens don’t talk! Lol)
  4. Checking account maintenance – The one class I really wish schools would make mandatory are banking basics. When our kids turned 14, we opened a High School Checking Account. With our names on the account, our kids knew not to get crazy with their bank card.

As a result, each month we reviewed the bank statement together and discussed future payouts. This was a huge help!

Stay In Learning Mode – This skill is crucial to your child’s growth! With or without a college degree, your child must know that learning is a life-long activity. Once they leave college learning doesn’t stop.

Next, one of the most important parts of learning is knowing who to learn from. Teens learn more from other teens. Also, as adults they need to know what they need to learn, and who would be best to learn from. This quote is so appropriate: “You don’t know what you don’t know, until you need to know it.” – Unknown

The best skill you can teach your teen is discernment. Help them understand how important it is to surround themselves with like-minded people, people who have similar lifestyle goals in mind.

Finally, your teen may not listen to you, but when in the company of other young people who are working toward a similar future they can teach and learn from each other.  “Each one. Teach one.” – an African Proverb.

 

You may also like:  6 Ways to Save on College Tuition.

 

 

life coach, business coach   About the author:  Ericka Richardson is a mother of three, and a grandmother. Ericka was raised in New York, but moved to the Atlanta, Ga area in 1993.  Atlanta is where she raised her children.  Ericka and her husband, Mike, started their business in 2003. Even with the time constraints of starting a business, they made sure their children stayed active, well-grounded, remained humble and grateful.

Ericka is a Certified Life and Business Coach as well as a Business Consultant. Ericka preaches and teaches Business Basics with each of her clients.

You can connect with Ericka online at:

www.coachericka.com
www.facebook.com/coachericka
www.facebook.com/groups/bizbasicsbootcamp
www.linkedin.com/in/ericka220
www.twitter.com/bizcoachericka

Is Your Teen Sexting On Their Phone?

Is your teen sexting or participating in the “hook up culture”?  Statistics show that 22% of teen girls and 20% of teen boys have sent nude or seminude photos of themselves over the Internet or their phones.  Why, they don’t think about the repercussions.  They want to show off their bodies.  Girls want to entice the guys they’re attracted to or they think they’re proving that they’re committed to the young man they’re dating.   Today, I’m sharing parenting tips on teen sexting.

 

In reverse, boys think it’s cool to approach girls via text using sexually graphic content.  Social grace is nonexistent.  There are sites set-up to give examples of how to send a sexting message.

 

parenting tips

 

Times have changed and Teens are Sexting.  We live in a world that revolves around modern technology and it’s here to stay.  Teens don’t realize that the person they sent the picture or text to is now in possession of material that can prove damaging.  Too many times we have heard about the text or image being sent to others or being posted on a social networking site.  Unfortunately, once it’s sent you can’t retrieve it.  Both teenage boys and girls have forwarded the images to others.  They in turn have passed the image on which has lead to humiliation in school, parties or other social situations.  Sadly, it’s hard to undo the damage.  And, people are revengeful.

So, many teens have said they felt pressured by their boyfriend or girlfriend to send the picture.  Teen pressure is not unusual.  Also, they feel the same pressures with drinking and doing drugs.  As a result, sexting is just another social pressure.  What can you do to prevent your teen from sexting:

 

 

parenting tips

 

 

 

  • Set aside time to have a serious discussion on the damaging affects of sexting.
  • Let them know that they’re in control of their body and reputation.  They should never allow anyone to pressure them into sexting.
  • Give them an example.  A great one would be the beautiful and talented Vanessa Williams.  She posed nude in college and the photos came back to haunt her when she won the Miss America Pageant.  She resigned her crown as a result.    Don’t want to use Vanessa Williams, Google to find other examples of teens who have been harmed.
  • Set rules on phone use.  Kids need structure and guidance and a cellphone shouldn’t be an exception.
  • Discuss the meaning of privacy and intimacy.  Would they want family members or friends to see the photo?  If not, they shouldn’t want the world to view it either.
  • Discuss dating etiquette and what’s acceptable.  You set the rules or assist your teen in setting rules.
  • Discuss the legal ramifications.  Since I am not an attorney, I would suggest that you consult a family lawyer in your state for advice.