Cheaters Never Win

How would you feel if you husband fathered a child outside of your marriage/relationship with one of his close friends and business partner?  Oh, lets forget close friend with anyone for that matter.  Would the fact that the close friend and business partner was at the hospital sharing in your joy with you and your husband plunge the knife in a littler deeper?  Would the fact that the close friend and business partner rode home in the limo with you and your husband after the delivery drive the knife in deeper.  Would the fact that the close friend and business partner attended the ballets and school graduations send you over th edge. 

A similar story has taken place in Connecticut.  Eric Fischer said he saw the red flags when his youngest daughter was born, but for 15 years he loved her and raised her like she was his own.  As time went he, he couldn’t ignore the fact that she looked nothing like his oldest daughter.  Finally, he decided on a DNA test.  As he already knew deep in his heart she was not his, but in fact the close friend and business partner of his wife’s. 

When I first read the story, I thought how sad is that.  Another case of baby’s daddy.   How do you betray another person in that manner?  How do you explain to the child that I’m not your father, mommy’s friend is.   These are not people who were in a relationship, but a married couple.  How do you sleep beside someone for 15 years, knowing what you’ve done?  People like this scare me.  This is a person who has no conscious.  People who have no conscious are capable of anything.  Of course the couple divorced.  How could a marriage survive after that kind of betrayal.

Let me tell you Eric Fischer didn’t take it lightly.  Oh no he didn’t.  He decided to sue baby’s daddy for every dime that he spent on the child for the 15 years that he raised her as his own.   The court decided that $195,000 would suffice for the reimbursement.  Eric Fischer was initially turned down by a lower court for the judgement.  The court stated that he “had held himself out to be the younger daughter’s father, that he had caused her to rely on him to meet her financial and emotional needs, and that revealing her true parentage after she had been led to believe for her whole life that [Fisher] was her father, would be detrimental to her emotional well-being.”  I wonder about our legal system at times.  What true man would want to believe that a child his wife just gave birth to wasn’t his.  He didn’t give up the fight and took it to the Supreme Court.  They overturned the lower court’s decision and is now allowing Mr. Fischer to return to the lower court with a new judge to fight for the $195,000. 

Will money compensate for the betrayal of his wife and her lover?  We know the answer to that is no; however, it may set a precedent to others who believe that it’s okay to play with a person’s heart and head.  Will this betrayal have a negative effect on the little girl?  I’m sure it will.  I’m hoping that the court will give his ex-wife this award: 

Let her explain the betrayal and the true meaning of marriage to her daughter.  I know there are many couples who have children they are raising that don’t biologically belong to one or the other.  These decisions are made freely and lovingly.  I think Mr. Fischer has a right to know the truth, and he also had the right to decide that he would not raise a child that was not his.  I hope that he can find peace and the daughter can recover from the infidelity as well.  Leave me a comment, I would love to know your thoughts on this story. 

Chicken Wing Cupcakes

chicken wing cupcakes

Cupcake meet chicken wing.  American loves cupcakes and chicken wings.  A bakery, Coccadott’s Bakery, outside of Albany decided to merge the two.  When I first thought about the two, I almost got sick.  When I found out that the cupcake is actually cornbread topped with blue cheese and a wing I was more receptive.    

The owner said she was thinking about the Superbowl and thought what goes better with the Superbowl than chicken wings.  She said that she tried several combinations and was ready to throw in the towel, but decided to try the cornbread and blue cheese combination before completely giving up.  It was the winning combination. 

I checked out Coccadott’s Bakery, and their cupcake selection is impressive.  They offer everything from Sex N City to  Opposites Attract.  Why not a Chicken Wing Cupcake?  I love watching the Food Network, and I expect to see Coccadott’s Bakery on Cupcake Wars in the near future. 

If I lived near Coccadott’s Bakery, I would place an order.  Would you?

Are We Giving Up On Marriage Too Soon?

Are we giving up on marriage too soon?  It seems to be quite a few break-ups in Hollywood recently, or maybe I’m just noticing.  Jennifer Lopez and Mark Anthony, Kobe and Vanessa Bryant, Seal and Heidi Klum, Kenny G and his wife Lyndie.  It seems so easy to just walk away these days.  Now I’m not judging anybody, I’m divorced.  I left an unhealthy relationship, and I believe these types of marriages should end.  They’re not good for anyone involved including the children.  I’m grateful that I had the courage to leave, and I’m even more grateful that I had the courage to survive it and better my lifeSo, I’m not standing in judgment of anybody.  I’m just wondering why people walk away from a marriage if it is basically healthy, it just requires a few adjustments.   Couples are suppose to grow together, but it seems more and more are growing apart. 


I’m wondering if it’s because people are not willing to compromise in their marriages, if there’s another person involved or they’ve just fallen out of love.  It seems that people believe that it is easier to replace their partners, and they do.  Do people still include the words for better or worst, for richer or poorer and in sickness and in health in their vows or is it until I get sick of you and than I’m history? It’s been awhile since I’ve been to a wedding.

Is it unfair to mislead your partner, and have them believe that you love them when you really don’t?  I would be devastated.  I would rather part than sleep with someone whose heart is with another or simply not with me. 

I’m sure there is stress and strain in celebrity marriages.  Us regular folks have stress and strain why can’t they feel the same.  I’m sure when one partner is traveling and the other is left to run the house and management the children that produces a tremendous amount of stress.  Oh that’s right, they have tons of money, nannies, chefs and domestic help don’t they On the other hand, those things don’t have anything to do with loving another person do they.  What happened to perseverance and persistence?  What happened to going the extra mile for your family?  It seems that it has all fallen by the wayside.  Has women’s liberation made it easier for us to walk away from marriage?  I was driving back from a visit with my daughter, who has a healthy and loving marriage in spite of my divorce, and I was listening to a CD of old songs.  Natalie Cole’s I’m Catching Hell came on.  She spoke of the difficulty of living alone after her man left.  She said it was the little things that she missed, him fixing things around the house, carrying the groceries, and paying the bills.  You know the things we take for granted.  Not once in that song did she say she missed anything about who he was as a person or how he treated her.  

Has the fact that women make as much if  not more than their husbands had a negative effect on marriage?  I look back at women my mother’s age, and there were very few divorces.  They stayed and worked through their problems.  Most women who stayed in their marriages didn’t work outside the home. They relied on their husbands to pay the bills and take care of the finances in the home.  Does a woman making more money than her husband cause him to have a bruised ego?  So many questions and so few answers.  Women today make their own money and celebrate divorce with a Divorce Cake. It’s not big deal.  

How do we get back to the true meaning of a marriage?  What do we as women need to do to stay in our marriages and ride out the storms?  What is it that men need to do?  I would love to hear from women who have left their marriages and those who have stayed.  You may hold the key to a successful marriage or may have some advice for those of us who are struggling in our marriages and love life.  Leave us a comment. 

Wordless Wednesday: Channel Purse

My daughter’s Birthday Cake

Moscato D’Asti Wine Review

I discovered Moscato D’Asti during the holidays and I’m here to tell you that if you’re a mom who needs wine occasionally, you must try this.  It’s a sparkling white wine made from the Moscato Bianco grape and imported from Italy.  Some consider it sweet, and drink it with dessert.  I personally don’t find it sweet at all.  It’s the perfect wine for me.

I’m salivating as I’m writing this article.  If I don’t watch myself, I could turn into a Moscato lush.  I want to head to the kitchen for a glass now.  When I purchase this wine, one bottle won’t do.  I can polish off a bottle alone, so I get one for me and one for whomever I’m drinking it with , lol.  I soak pomegranate seeds in the wine and place them in my champagne glass while I’m sipping.  The seeds are refreshing with the wine and delicious to eat.  Strange you say, some people eat strawberries with their wine, I love pomegranate seeds with mine.  At least with this particular brand. 

I have a long week-end coming up, and I will be enjoying a glass or two of this delightful concoction.  I’m also a big fan of Steeple Chase, which is a red wine made by the Maryland Winery, Linganore.  If you live in the Maryland area, you need to check out the wine festival hosted by Linganore Winery.  They host Funk, Reggae, Motown, Blues, and Steel Drums bands during the summer.  

Are you a wine lover?  What’s your favorite, red or white.  Leave us a comment, we love to hear from Moms Who Need Wine.   

Elementary Math – How Many Slaves Picked Oranges?

How many slave’s hands are tied in this photo?  That’s right, how many slaves are tied in this photo?  I could not believe an article that I read this evening about Beaver Ridge Elementary School in Norcross, GA that incorporated slavery into math problems for third graders.  WTH?   Let me give you a preview of an actual problem sent home, “If Frederick got two beatings per day, how many beatings did he get in one week?”  I truly find this hard to believe in 2012. 

The explanation given for this poor judgement is that teachers are encouraged to mix subjects.  I buy that; however, who is teaching students about beatings, picking oranges and cotton and anything else associated with slavery and finds it acceptable.  I know that slavery was a way of life in the south and many still have a slavery mentality, but teaching it in our schools.  As far as I’m concerned, the teachers should have been be fired.  The principal has agreed to sensitivity training, but is that enough?  These teachers are college educated, but obviously have no common sense.  That’s dangerous.  People with no common sense lack judgement and that soon leads to disaster. 

We wonder why the American school system is in the sad state that it is currently in.  We have our answer!  What’s your thoughts on this gross error?  Leave us a comment, we would love to hear from you.

Area Teacher Arrested for Soliciting A Minor

Do you know who’s interacting with your child on-line?  I received a post from one of my friends on Facebook where an area teacher this week was arrested for soliciting a minor for sex, 13 year old, on-line.  This sh** just makes my blood boil.  We simply can not trust our children on-line, in school, in sports or anywhere these days.    It’s so sad, but the reality of the world in which we live. 

The cover-up at Penn State was enough to make me cry, people just turning their heads and looking the other way while someone is abusing a child.  How do you sleep at night?  How do you get up in the morning, dress, go to work and look at someone who you know is abusing children and you do nothing.  Now it’s happening in my own backyard.  Predators!  People who we believe we can trust as role models for our children taking advantage of them.   The teacher in my area was a fourth grade teacher at an Intermediate School about a mile from me, and had been recently named as the assistant boy’s basketball coach at another Middle School in the areal.  I wonder what we could have expected there, another Jerry Sandusky? 

We as parents must see danger when it comes to our children, and our children must understand the danger of on-line predators as well as those that they will encounter in their childhood.  If you’re like me, you’re probably wondering what you should do to keep your child safe on-line.  Here’s a few tips:  

  • Talk to your child about on-line sexual predators.  They’ll probably try to convince you that they’re okay and know what’s going on, but stand firm. 
  • Improve your computer skills. and controll what your child accesses on-line.  There is parental control software on the market, download it on your family computer.  We were all children at some point, so we understand privacy, but this is your child’s life and we must protect them at all costs.    
  • Make sure you can view your child and the screen on the computer when they’re on-line.  
  • Know what sites they’re visiting, and enforce rules. 
  • Looks for gifts, money or other items that where not provided by you or grand parents.
  • Limit the amount of time your child spends on the computer if they are not doing homework or playing games.
  • Check for sexual communication, images etc. 
  • Limit the number of hours your teen/child is home alone. 

What do predators look for when in search of prey:  

  • Most find our children in chat rooms, through instant messages, email or social networking sites.  
  • They befriend and win children’s affection with gifts, being kind and giving them attention.  They are astute at knowing who to solicit.  

Unfortunately, we can’t protect our children around the clock.  Make these stories a part of your dinner conversation, so your child can understand how real predators are and if they aren’t cautious they too can become prey. 

     

    I’ll Get You – Daughter Posts Video of Family Law Judge Beating Her

    Oh modern technology!  You gotta love it.  This beautiful young lady decided to video her father who is a Family Law judge beating her with a belt and posted it on Youtube.  When I watched it, I was stunned to say the least.  It was hard to believe that anyone in this day and age would be using corporeal punishment on their child, especially a family law judge.  What made it worst was the fact that her mother was in on it. 

    This young lady has cerebral palsy, which just makes me cringe.  She was caught downloading music to her computer.  Hello, that’s what teens do.  I disciplined my daughter a hundred times when she was a teen for downloading music and virusus on the computer.  Did I resort to beating her, no. 

    During the beating with a leather belt, the judge said that he was going to beat her into submission.  Her mother told her to lay on her stomach and take it like a woman.  How sick is this?  The young lady was 16 years old.  Not only that, we as woman are suppose to allow some man to beat our ass.  I don’t think so. This is what you want to teach your daughter?

    This brilliant young lady understood abuse, and knew that her father needed help.  She also understood that abuse gets worst not better.  She hold on to the video for 7 years, and finally decided to post it last week so the public could get a glimpse of who he really was.  Why, because she said her father was now harassing her.  The judge when questioned about beating his daughter, stated that it wasn’t as bad as it looked.  He also said that he had apologized.  The mother apologized to her daughter years ago, and left the marriage.  I wonder whay?

    I’m happy to say that Judge William Adams is being investigated.  I can’t image this man making a decision about anyone’s life after seeing the video.  As of yet he hasn’t been removed from the bench, but it has been decided that a visiting judge should hear his cases until the investigation has been completed. 

    I applaud this young lady for having the courage to expose her abusive father.  She now regrets posting the video, but believes that he needs help and exposing him was the best way of pushing him into some kind of therapy.  Applause!  Applause! 

    Pregnant Mother Arrested For Unpaid Chicken Salad Sandwiches

    Shop at Safeway?  Be sure to pay for any items that you or your children have eaten while shopping.  If not, you’ll probably be sent to the slammer and your children turned over to Children Protective Services.  That’s what happened to a famished pregnant mother and her husband at a Safeway in Hawaii. 
    Yep, they slapped the cuffs on her and hubby and hauled them off to the slammer like common criminals.  Here’s the story.  The  30 week pregnant couple had recently moved to Honolulu from California.  They needed groceries and ventured off to Safeway.  While there she started to feel hungry and picked up two chicken salad sandwiches saving the wrappers so she could pay for them when she headed to the register. 
    After walking around the store and finally heading to the register, she paid for the groceries.  However, she forgot to pay for the two sandwiches.  Now any mother who has a 2 year old knows that by the time you get to the register you’re frazzled.  Forgetting to pay for the sandwiches is understandable.  You’re lucky if you can remember how to find your way back to your car in this case the bus stop.  The former Air Force Staff Sergeant paid for the groceries and headed out the store.  They were stopped and questioned about the sandwiches by security.  They were returned to the store and lead to an office.  Rather than allow the couple to pay for the sandwiches, they called the cops stating that store policy did not allow shoplifters to buy for purchases once it left the store. 
    Once the cops arrived, 4 hours later, they were read their rights.  A lady from Child Welfare took their daughter and the rest is history.  They spent the night in jail and away from their 2 year old daughter.  The baby was returned after 18 hours away from mom and dad.  Needless to say, moms across America are livid.  I mean really.  The couple paid for their groceries, so they obviously had money and didn’t need to steal.  The woman was 30 weeks pregnant, hell we’re always hungry when we’re expecting. 
    Safeway has apologized for the way the situation was handled and has promised to review their policy.   They have stated that they understand our rage.  I don’t shop at Safeway, but if I did I would be giving them a piece of my mind. 
    My advice for moms out there is to stick something that you can munch on in your purse for you and the children.  Be sure that it’s in a baggie or container.  I’ve watched moms in grocery stores open chips etc. and allow their children to eat while they’re shopping.  I’ve also watched managers walk up to them, and state that they can’t  open food while in the store.  The policy is they must pay before consuming it.  I think the situation was handled poorly, and she honestly forgot to pay when she went through the check out.  What’s most upsetting is that they hauled that poor little girl off while sending her parents to jail for $5.00 worth of sandwiches.  Do you think the situation was handled poorly?  What advice do you have for pregnant women or moms of tots who may get famished while out shopping?  Leave us a comment, we can’t wait to hear from you.
    
    
    

    Wordless Wednesday: Pony Rides

    Xavier enjoying a fall pony ride at the pumpkin patch.