Tips for Teaching Children to be Assertive

Parenting is a monumental  job.   It requires teaching our children to be assertive, how to deal with their emotions, and dealing with positive and negative feelings.  Even when they don’t know what they’re feeling or why.  This parenting skill requires communication skills, empathy, and understanding.  Remember your childhood and teen years.  Today, we’re giving you a few parenting tips on teaching children to be assertive.    

 

 

parenting tips

 

Teaching your kids to be assertive

Children are not the best at articulating their thoughts and feelings.  Furthermore, they lack the experience in articulating many aspects of their human experience.  The responsibility of teaching children to be articulate, honest and respectful is a major responsibility.  While we want our children to express themselves, and ask questions like an HST lawyer,  they don’t always have the skills.

We must remember, teaching children to be assertive is vital to them being able to create boundaries.  Furthermore, it helps them improve their self-esteem and confidence.  As adults, we have seen the issues that come with not being assertive.  It can range from saying yes to things we don’t want to do to being burned out because we can’t say no. To avoid creating a similar future for your child, teach them assertiveness early.  They will know to stand up for themselves in an amicable manner and thus develop stronger relationships.

 

Helping children navigate their emotions

The initial stages of teaching a child to be assertive can be difficult.  Children will follow your example.  If you have issues with assertiveness, now would be an excellent time to practice what you will be preaching.  For example, if you always clean up after dinner  make it clear that others must help.  You will likely be emotionally charged, but remember to remain calm as your children will be watching and listening.

As you master assertiveness in your life, encourage your children to do the same.  Temperament plays a role in how your child conveys their message. Those with stronger personalities can come across as aggressive.  If so, gently point it out to your child how others may perceive them.  Remind them that the point of getting their message across is to create understanding.   It is not to offend others. It is vital that they learn to respect others even while disagreeing.

Your child might initially have a hard time because they are still learning about their emotions and how to communicate them. Be patient and ask them to extend the same for themselves.  Teaching assertiveness creates an opportunity to have conversations about the importance of self-awareness and boundaries.   Additionally, you can discuss what they can do when someone is unkind or dismissive after they assert themselves.  Equally, praise them for the times they are confident and encourage them to express their feelings too.

 

Remaining positive through the teaching process

No parent gets everything right, so remember that it takes practice. When you feel the message is not getting home take a different tactic.  Most importantly, remember there are factors we have to contend with that are out of our control, including their social circles.  Be diligent, and do your best.

 

 

 

Raising A Preemie

As you know, my Zarriah was born weighing 2lbs. 10 ozs.  She spent the first 3 month of her life in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU) in Virginia Beach, VA.  This is my preemie a year and half later.  She’s walking, talking, eating everything in site and has proven herself to be one of my greatest blessings.  I look back at the day she was born, Hurricane Irene was coming through.  I nicknamed her “Storm”.

Her doctors say she’s doing fine.  They see no problem with her eyesight.  Her motor skills are fine, she sleeps through the night, she’s walking, and throws the normal tantrums for a toddler.  She has a totally different personality from her brother.  He’s loving and likes to cuddle, Zarriah prefers her independence.  She likes to be held, but she doesn’t hang around long.  She prefers to discover and climb over or under whatever is in sight, and is always up for a fight.  Yep, she will fight.  She fought for her life, and she continues to fight.  Hopefully, she will grow out of this habit.   

She has a huge appetite!  I must say, she eats more than any child that I have ever seen.  There’s times when I think she’s going to be sick, but it never happens.  When she doesn’t want anymore, she will turn her head, spit it out or just stop eating if she’s feeding herself.  Her grandfather and I took her to Golden Corral for dinner.  She ate the biggest plate of mashed potatoes and gravy that I’ve ever seen.  The people sitting next to us looked and looked.  Finally, I spoke up and said she will eat until the bottom falls out.  We engaged in further conversation, and found out that they too had a preemie who was at that time 10.  She had caught up and grown into a beautiful young lady. 

It is such a blessing to be able to write this post.  I want to thank the nurses in the NICU at Sentara Princess Anne Hospital in Virginia Beach for their professional care.  They were all excellent, and will be forever in our hearts and prayers.  I remember the first time that I saw Zarriah.  I truly believed that I would pass out.  She was so tiny, in an incubator and wires everywhere.  I broke out in a sweat.  The nurses comforted me, and assured me that they were skilled and she would be fine.  Zarriah has been back to visit the NICU on several occasions.  We thought it was important for her to keep the connection with those who fought  as hard as she did to save her life. 

Are you raising a preemie or know someone who is?  Have they caught up or did they remain small?  Leave me a comment, I would love to connect with other raising preemies.