Fill Your Children’s Self Esteem Bucket

child's self esteem

 

As parents we are responsible for our children’s self-esteem. We have the ability to make or break our children.  I grow up in an alcoholic home.  Unfortunately, I remember being called names and hearing my mother call my dad names.  Furthermore, I remember those times like yesterday.  The memories and scars never leave. In most homes families look forward to weekends.  In my home they were dreaded. The hell raising started on Thursdays so there would be an excuse for drinking the remainder of the weekend. I vowed that I would never subject my children to this kind of behavior and I didn’t.

Fortunately, I took my responsibility as a parent seriously.  Because I was a single parent, it was doubly important that I ensure my child was well taken care of.  I made sure she had a high sense of self worth.  I worked hard to instill the following characteristics:

 Confidence – First, instill confidence in your children.  Also, help them believe in themselves and their abilities.  And make sure they know they can count on you for whatever goes right or wrong.  Demonstrating a positive attitude is a must too.

Compliments – Well done, you look pretty, handsome, great job, and I’m proud of you are great compliments.  Children should be praised often.  It will stay with them.

Unconditional Love –  Next, let your children know that you love them even when they make mistakes. It’s important that they know your love for them is unconditional.  As a result, they will always be safe.

Encouragement –  Always encourage your children to work through fear.  Always let them know that it’s okay when they fail.  And encourage them to try again.  Be their biggest fan and cheerleader.

Responsibility – Giving children chores and holding them accountable will help with their confidence.

Respect  –  Furthermore, teaching your children about respect is imperative.  Having a high opinion of one’s self will help children have esteem for others.

Finally, fill your children’s self esteem bucket regularly.  It will help define who they are as an adult; therefore, it will become a driving force in their success.  Communicate, compliment and praise often. Success and failure is a normal part of life, and children need to know that both will be experienced throughout their life.  Although they may get down at times, striving for healthy self-esteem should be the goal for all of our children.  So, what can you add to the self-esteem bucket?

 

How’s Your Decision Making Skills

 

decision making skills, organization skills, self-improvement tips

 

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Do you find yourself being indecisive with things in your life, and you don’t know what direction to go in? Does the simplest tasks become monumental?  If going in circles has become a way of life or you find yourself throwing up your hands and dealing with the matter later, you may be suffering from indecisiveness.  

I have found myself in this position more than once. My livelihood is made from managing people. There are times when I have to step away and make a decision at a later time because I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed. I know that I couldn’t continue managing in that way, so I had to reassess my decision making skills.        

I have found that stress plays a major role in my indecisiveness at times, but you may be feeling something different. There are 4 major areas that keep us from being able to make a decision. If you’re finding yourself wavering on things ask yourself if you are feeling:  


1.  Fear – Are you afraid of making the wrong decision?  If you’re not making a major purchase and nobody will get hurt go ahead and make the decision.  I do a pros and cons list.  If the pros outweigh the cons, I have learned to live with my decision.  

2.  Over Analyzing –  Do you spend time gathering information and reviewing it over and over? At some point we have to make a decision. Set a date and time, when it arrives make your decision and stick with it.  It’s okay to reassess your decision later and make adjustments.   

3.  Lack of Confidence – Are you confident with our skill set?  If you know that you have the skills to accomplish your endeavor, believe in yourself.  We’re not perfect beings and we won’t always make the right decisions, but we must learn to make them confidently.  

4.  Stress – Are you stressed out all the time? Take time to relax and breath a little.  A walk with the children, your husband or a friend could be just what the doctor ordered.  Take time to soak in the tub, sip a cup of tea or give yourself  a home manicure.  When you feel good about yourself, you feel good about life.

As leaders in our homes, businesses, and social influencers, decision making is a way of life for today’s woman. We must lead not only with confidence, we must lead with conviction. Especially if we want others to follow. How do you handle indecisiveness?  

Finding Your Self-Esteem After Divorce

self-esteem after divorce
First, have you lost your self-esteem after divorce?  I have a little advice for you, “Take yourself off the clearance rack and get behind the glass case”, my friend.  The message being sent is you will treat yourself like a clearance item rather than a diamond behind a glass case if you don’t see yourself as valuable.  Being a divorcee doesn’t mean the end of the world.  I’ve been through one, but I learned to place myself in the glass case years ago. Because I learned that if I don’t see myself as being valuable why should anyone else.

Furthermore, women often loose esteem after divorce.  It’s nothing new. They become single parents, they take on the responsibilities of the children, upkeep of the house and everything in between.  Needs often go on the back burner.  As  a result, we become lonely and often loose our way.

So, when we have low self-esteem we have a tendency to look for love in all the wrong places.  And we settle for less than we deserve because we think we can’t do any better.  I’m here to tell you that you can raise your self-esteem and self-worth.  When you do, things in your life will change for the best.

Now, find your self-esteem and self-respect before it sinks to the bottom of the ocean.  All that you need is inside of you.  We all come from something, but we can’t go through life blaming everyone else for our demise or lack of insight.  Here’s my story, I came from an alcoholic background and I was a teen mother.  I made bad choices, but those things don’t define who I am.  Those things are simply a part of my journey in this thing called life.

These 10 steps will help you discover the new you:

  • Develop some standards and principles – These are the things that define who you are.
  • Learn to distinguish between abuse and constructive criticism – Abuse will tear you down and leave you feeling worthless.  Constructive criticism will help you improve who you are.
  • Become self sufficient – Needy people open themselves up to becoming a doormat.  Become self-sufficient. It helps build confidence and self-worth.
  • Get healthy – When you get healthy physically, it will improve your emotional and mental health as well.
  • Get rid of negativity – This includes negative people and negative thoughts about yourself.
  • Change your circle – Socialize with successful people and those who respect you.
  • Know the difference between respect and confidence – Respect is about what you do, confidence is about how you feel.
  • Show respect for yourself and others – If you want people to respect you, you must respect other people.
  • Learn to remove yourself from destructive situations – If a relationship is not nourishing or helping you to grow, get out and move on.
  • Motivation – Get motivated and stay motivated. Don’t allows others to bring you down.  Read self-help books, attend seminars or get a mentor.  Just stay in your zone and stay on course.
Finally, know that you won’t evolve over night.  However, you can change negative thoughts about yourself and discover your self-worth again.  Raising your self-esteem after divorce will take dedication and hard work, but you can renew you.  Most importantly, underneath the layers you will find a respectful and confident you.  
We hope that you found our tips on how to raise your self-esteem after divorce helpful.  You may also like: How to Empower Yourself Emotionally.