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How to Find Balance in Your Life When You Become a Mother

January 27, 2019 by Rhonda Gales Leave a Comment

Motherhood comes with a myriad of emotions and expectations. Society pressures women to become fantastic mothers. However, there are effects that most of us do not anticipate. As a result, you may wonder how to find balance in your life once you become a mother.

The role “mother” or even “wife” causes us to overshadow other aspects of our womanhood. If you feel you have lost yourself and can only talk about yourself as either a mother or wife, it’s time to step back and start empowering yourself again. Assess how you got there, and than figure out how to find balance in your life again.

It is all about the kids

Until children are able to take care of themselves, a mother is left to pour into their life constantly. Furthermore, they require nothing in return. This one-sided relationship can leave a mother with no energy for herself. There is a beauty in the selflessness of motherhood. However, just because you become a mother doesn’t mean you stop being a women or having needs, wants and desires.

If you feel you are missing something in your life, think about what changes you can make. That does not automatically mean diverting attention from your children. But, you can find pockets of time where you can be alone before the kids wake up. This may mean getting up a little early or making time for yourself while they’re in school or after bedtime. Most importantly, find something to do that you love. It could be pottery or volunteer work. Make it about you.

Your career was a big deal or still is

When you meet someone, after asking their name, what question do you ask next? If you ask what they do and they are a CRA tax audit Hamilton professional what feelings do you get? Society has conditioned us to place a high premium on what we do in life. When you become a mother, things change. When you are devoted to your children you can become bored and lonely. You may find that you are unable to relate unless you’re talking about your role as a mother and your children or husband.

However, it is vital to remember that your career is not what defines you. Just as you are not the total of who your children are. Challenge yourself to find commonalities that don’t make you feel awkward. Own who you are and wear it boldly. You aren’t here to impress others, just be the best you that you can be so you can find balance in your life.

Filed Under: Confidence, Empowerment Tagged With: confidence, self improvement, women's self help

The Importance of Building Children’s Self Esteem

October 21, 2015 by Rhonda Gales

As parents we are responsible for building our children’s self-esteem. We have the ability to make or break our children. I grow up in an alcoholic home. Unfortunately, I remember being called names and hearing my mother call my dad names. I remember those times like yesterday. The memories and scars never leave. Today, I’m sharing parenting tips on building children’s self-esteem.

In most homes families look forward to weekends. In my home they were dreaded. The hell raising started on Thursdays so there would be an excuse for drinking the remainder of the weekend. I vowed that I would never subject my children to this kind of behavior and I didn’t.

Fortunately, I took my responsibility as a parent seriously. Because I was a single parent, it was doubly important that I ensure my child was well taken care of. I made sure she had a high sense of self worth. I worked hard to instill the following characteristics:

Confidence – First, instill confidence in your children. Also, help them believe in themselves and their abilities. And make sure they know they can count on you for whatever goes right or wrong. Demonstrating a positive attitude is a must too, and it’s a great way to build children’s self esteem.

Compliments – Well done, you look pretty, handsome, great job, and I’m proud of you are great compliments. Children should be praised often. It will stay with them.

Unconditional Love – Next, let your children know that you love them even when they make mistakes. It’s important that they know your love for them is unconditional. As a result, they will always be safe.

Encouragement – Most importantly, always encourage your children to work through fear. Always let them know that it’s okay when they fail. And encourage them to try again. Be their biggest fan and cheerleader.

Responsibility – Giving children chores and holding them accountable will help with their confidence.

Respect – Furthermore, teaching your children about respect is imperative. Having a high opinion of one’s self will help children have esteem for others.

Finally, fill your children’s self esteem bucket regularly. It will help define who they are as an adult; therefore, it will become a driving force in their success. Communicate, compliment and praise often. Success and failure is a normal part of life, and children need to know that both will be experienced throughout their life. Although they may get down at times, striving for healthy self-esteem should be the goal for all of our children. So, what can you add to the self-esteem bucket?

You may also like: Values Help Build Kid’s Self-Confidence.

Filed Under: Character Building Tagged With: confidence, parenting advice, self-confidence, self-esteem

How’s Your Decision Making Skills

June 26, 2015 by Rhonda Gales

Decisions, decisions, decisions. Do you find yourself being indecisive with things in your life, and you don’t know what direction to go in? Does the simplest tasks become monumental? If going in circles has become a way of life or you find yourself throwing up your hands and dealing with the matter later, you may be suffering from indecisiveness. Today, we’re sharing empowerment tips on how to make a decision.

decision making skills, organization skills, self-improvement tips

I have found myself in this position more than once. My livelihood is made from managing people. There are times when I have to step away and make a decision at a later time because I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed. I know that I couldn’t continue managing in that way, so I had to reassess my decision making skills.

I have found that stress plays a major role in my indecisiveness at times, but you may be feeling something different. There are 4 major areas that keep us from being able to make a decision. If you’re finding yourself wavering on things ask yourself if you are feeling:

1. Fear – Are you afraid of making the wrong decision? If you’re not making a major purchase and nobody will get hurt go ahead and make the decision. I do a pros and cons list. If the pros outweigh the cons, I have learned to live with my decision.

2. Over Analyzing – Do you spend time gathering information and reviewing it over and over? At some point we have to make a decision. Set a date and time, when it arrives make your decision and stick with it. It’s okay to reassess your decision later and make adjustments.

3. Lack of Confidence – Are you confident with our skill set? If you know that you have the skills to accomplish your endeavor, believe in yourself. We’re not perfect beings and we won’t always make the right decisions, but we must learn to make them confidently.

4. Stress – Are you stressed out all the time? Take time to relax and breath a little. A walk with the children, your husband or a friend could be just what the doctor ordered. Take time to soak in the tub, sip a cup of tea or give yourself a home manicure. When you feel good about yourself, you feel good about life.

Furthermore, as leaders in our homes, businesses, and social influencers, decision making is a way of life for today’s woman. We must lead not only with confidence, we must lead with conviction. Especially, if we want others to follow. Perfecting your decision making skills is a necessity. So, how do you handle indecisiveness?

Filed Under: Confidence Tagged With: confidence, making decisions, self improvement

How to Build Self Esteem After Divorce

July 3, 2014 by Rhonda Gales

Today, I’m sharing empowerment tips on how to build self-esteem after divorce. First, have you lost your self-esteem after a divorce? I have a little advice for you, “Take yourself off the clearance rack and get behind the glass case”, my friend. Stop treating yourself like a clearance item rather than a diamond behind a glass case. If you don’t see yourself as valuable who will. Being a divorcee doesn’t mean the end of the world. I’ve been through one, but I learned to place myself in the glass case years ago. Building self-esteem will empower you. So, lets get started.

Women often loose their self-esteem after a divorce. They become single parents, they take on the responsibilities of the children, upkeep of the house and everything in between. Their needs often go on the back burner. As a result, we become lonely and often loose our way.

So, when we have low self-esteem we have a tendency to look for love in all the wrong places. And, we settle for less than we deserve because we think we can’t do any better. I’m here to tell you that you that building self-esteem and self-worth will keep you from many of those mistakes. When you do, things in your life will change for the best.

Now, find your self-esteem and self-respect before it sinks to the bottom of the ocean. All that you need is inside of you. We all come from something, but we can’t go through life blaming everyone else for our demise. Here’s my story, I came from an alcoholic background and I was a teen mother. I made bad choices, but those things don’t define who I am. Those things are simply a part of my journey in this thing called life. I’ve used the steps below to help in building my self-esteem.

How to Build Self-Esteem After Divorce:

Develop some standards and principles – These are the things that define who you are.
Learn to distinguish between abuse and constructive criticism – Abuse will tear you down and leave you feeling worthless. Constructive criticism will help you improve who you are.
Become self sufficient – Needy people open themselves up to becoming a doormat. Become self-sufficient. It helps build confidence and self-worth.
Get healthy – When you get healthy physically, it will improve your emotional and mental health as well.
Get rid of negativity – This includes negative people and negative thoughts about yourself.
Change your circle – Socialize with successful people and those who respect you.

Know the difference between respect and confidence – Respect is about what you do, confidence is about how you feel.
Show respect for yourself and others – If you want people to respect you, you must respect other people.
Learn to remove yourself from destructive situations – If a relationship is not nourishing or helping you to grow, get out and move on.
Motivation – Get motivated and stay motivated. Don’t allows others to bring you down. Read self-help books, attend seminars or get a mentor. Just stay in your zone and stay on course.

Finally, know that you won’t evolve over night. However, you can change negative thoughts about yourself and discover your self-worth again. Raising your self-esteem after divorce will take dedication and hard work, but you can renew you. Most importantly, underneath the layers you will find a respectful and confident you.

So, we hope that you have found our tips on how to build self-esteem after your divorce beneficial. You may also like: How to Empower Yourself Emotionally and Improving Self Esteem.