Stomp Out Domestic Violence

 

 

 

 

 

Stomp Out Domestic Violence.  That was the theme at the Purple Passion Fashion show that I attended this week-end.  It was wonderful seeing so much diversity among the models, and the community coming together for this worthy cause.  

 October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.  If it hasn’t affected you personally, I guarantee it has affected someone that you know and love.  Women are the majority of victims; however, men encounter their share of abuse too.  Men are more likely to not report or discuss the violence.  Here are the Domestic Violence Statistics for 2012:
  • Every 9 seconds in the US a woman is assaulted or beaten.
  • Around the world, at least one in every three women has been beaten, coerced into sex or otherwise abused during her lifetime. Most often, the abuser is a member of her own family. 
  • Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women—more than car accidents, muggings, and rapes combined.
  •  Studies suggest that up to 10 million children witness some form of domestic violence annually.

  • Nearly 1 in 5 teenage girls who have been in a relationship said a boyfriend threatened violence or self-harm if presented with a breakup.
  • Everyday in the US, more than three women are murdered by their husbands or boyfriends.
  • Ninety-two percent of women surveyed listed reducing domestic violence and sexual assault as their top concern.
  • Domestic violence victims lose nearly 8 million days of paid work per year in the US alone—the equivalent of 32,000 full-time jobs.
  • Based on reports from 10 countries, between 55 percent and 95 percent of women who had been physically abused by their partners had never contacted non-governmental organizations, shelters, or the police for help.
  • The costs of intimate partner violence in the US alone exceed $5.8 billion per year: $4.1 billion are for direct medical and health care services, while productivity losses account for nearly $1.8 billion.
  • Men who as children witnessed their parents’ domestic violence were twice as likely to abuse their own wives than sons of nonviolent parents

Mother 2 Mother is encouraging each of you to Stomp.  You can get involved in so many ways.  You can donate used clothing for women and children to your local Women’s Shelter.  You can donate baked goods or have a food drive to ensure women on the run have food to feed their children.  You can donate a toy this holiday season to ensure the children being housed in a shelter have a great Christmas, and of course monetary donations are always welcome. 

Have you or someone that you know been involved in domestic violence?  Please share how you were able to remove yourself from this abusive situation.  You could help save a life or give someone the courage they need to leave their situation.   

Is Your Child A Domestic Violence Victim?

Is your teen involved in an abusive relationship? Have you talked to your teen about domestic violence? I talked to my daughter during her teen years because I never wanted to make the assumption that she would never allow herself to be abused.

Violence among our youth is real. They’re violent on the streets, in the schools, and in their relationships. An article caught my eye several days ago, which validates this fact. Rhode Island is requiring public middle and high schools to add dating violence as a part of their health class.

The Lindsay Ann Burke Act, pictured, is behind this mandate. Lindsay Burke was 23 when she was killed at the hands of her abusive boyfriend. He cut her throat and left her to die. Her mother stated that she saw trouble in her daughter’s relationship. Her boyfriend was very controlling. Unfortunately, many women young and old don’t recognize they are being abused. Lindsay’s mother stated that education in the school would have helped her daughter recognize that her relationship was dangerous. Schools teach students to not do drugs, drink or have unprotected sex; however, domestic violence is not taught. Reading this article reminded me of my daughter’s teenage dating years. She had been visiting her boyfriend whom I disliked, but I couldn’t figure out why. There was something about him that unnerved me. I had mentioned this fact to my daughter again and again. She thought that I was being an over protective mother and no one would ever be good enough for her at least by my standards.

We were having one of our mother daughter talks one night, and she stated that she was asked by her boyfriend’s mother if he had ever hit her. I froze. I felt ill, dizzy as if I was having an out of body experience. Somehow I managed to repeat what she had said to ensure that I had heard her correctly. I had. She had just validated my thoughts of him, I knew than my instincts about him were right. I explained to my daughter that she needed to end that relationship and end it immediately. No mother would ask that question of her son unless she knew that he was capable. I could see the wheels turning in her head. Mind you she was 16 at the time. I further explained that I had 7 brothers and my mother, her grandmother, would never ask that question about any of her 7 sons. Something was wrong! I prayed that she would end the relationship. I continued to ask questions and remain as close to the situation as I could without pushing her away from me. I talked about books that I had read about abusive relationships. Two came to mind, The Burning Bed and Shattered Dreams. At that time there was no internet access, so my knowledge of domestic violence was limited and so were domestic violence resources. I had previously confided in a friend about my feelings toward my daughter’s boyfriend. She too believed that I was over reacting. On the surface he was well mannered, a high school track and basket ball star, and handsome. He was a teenage girl’s dream. After I discussed my conversation with my daughter with my friend, only than did she take my instincts seriously. Ladies please don’t assume that your daughters will remove themselves from abusive situations. If you have teen daughters, educate yourself and if you see signs help them take action. Abuse knows no limits. Thankfully my daughter left for college, out of state, shortly thereafter and the relationship faded. She is now married to a wonderful young man who adores her. Lindsey Burke was not as fortunate. I believe teaching domestic violence in our schools is a great idea. Let me know your thoughts.