Finding Your Self-Esteem After Divorce

self-esteem after divorce
First, have you lost your self-esteem after divorce?  I have a little advice for you, “Take yourself off the clearance rack and get behind the glass case”, my friend.  The message being sent is you will treat yourself like a clearance item rather than a diamond behind a glass case if you don’t see yourself as valuable.  Being a divorcee doesn’t mean the end of the world.  I’ve been through one, but I learned to place myself in the glass case years ago. Because I learned that if I don’t see myself as being valuable why should anyone else.

Furthermore, women often loose esteem after divorce.  It’s nothing new. They become single parents, they take on the responsibilities of the children, upkeep of the house and everything in between.  Needs often go on the back burner.  As  a result, we become lonely and often loose our way.

So, when we have low self-esteem we have a tendency to look for love in all the wrong places.  And we settle for less than we deserve because we think we can’t do any better.  I’m here to tell you that you can raise your self-esteem and self-worth.  When you do, things in your life will change for the best.

Now, find your self-esteem and self-respect before it sinks to the bottom of the ocean.  All that you need is inside of you.  We all come from something, but we can’t go through life blaming everyone else for our demise or lack of insight.  Here’s my story, I came from an alcoholic background and I was a teen mother.  I made bad choices, but those things don’t define who I am.  Those things are simply a part of my journey in this thing called life.

These 10 steps will help you discover the new you:

  • Develop some standards and principles – These are the things that define who you are.
  • Learn to distinguish between abuse and constructive criticism – Abuse will tear you down and leave you feeling worthless.  Constructive criticism will help you improve who you are.
  • Become self sufficient – Needy people open themselves up to becoming a doormat.  Become self-sufficient. It helps build confidence and self-worth.
  • Get healthy – When you get healthy physically, it will improve your emotional and mental health as well.
  • Get rid of negativity – This includes negative people and negative thoughts about yourself.
  • Change your circle – Socialize with successful people and those who respect you.
  • Know the difference between respect and confidence – Respect is about what you do, confidence is about how you feel.
  • Show respect for yourself and others – If you want people to respect you, you must respect other people.
  • Learn to remove yourself from destructive situations – If a relationship is not nourishing or helping you to grow, get out and move on.
  • Motivation – Get motivated and stay motivated. Don’t allows others to bring you down.  Read self-help books, attend seminars or get a mentor.  Just stay in your zone and stay on course.
Finally, know that you won’t evolve over night.  However, you can change negative thoughts about yourself and discover your self-worth again.  Raising your self-esteem after divorce will take dedication and hard work, but you can renew you.  Most importantly, underneath the layers you will find a respectful and confident you.  
We hope that you found our tips on how to raise your self-esteem after divorce helpful.  You may also like: How to Empower Yourself Emotionally.




  1. Great, great piece! There are so many of these ruts we can easily fall into! I have been reading Getting Past The Ugly by Beremesola Dyer, is her site. I recommend it as she really gives some great ideas on things we can do daily to build ourselves up. Just little things daily can make a huge difference!

    • Thanks stopping by and the recommendation for the book.  I agree, small steps can lead to huge changes and daily work is required.  Insightful advice. 

  2. Excellent points! My awakening moment was discovering how easy it was to end up "at the top of the pile" by simply doing the best job possible at work or in school. I found that many do just enough to get by. A person who sets the highest standards for herself is recognized quickly and respected for it.

    • I agree that many do just enough to get by, and than wonder why they're where they are. They're not willing to put work or energy into themselves.  I also see that many have no respect for themselves, and they complain about others disrespecting them.  We must set the standards for ourselves.  Thanks for stopping by. 

  3. Very nicely said Rhonda including the part about it won't happen over night. You just have to keep on trying over and over again until you get it right! Reading and re-reading posts like this will certainly help to keep someone on the path to self-esteem.

    • Life is a journey and we learn as we grow.  The fact of the matter is, you have to start somewhere.  Building your self-esteem is so important, once you obtain self-esteem everything else will fall into place.  Thanks for stopping by.