People can be transparent if you’re willing to look hard enough. Several months ago I was contacted by a young lady to be her mentor. As a single mother who survived raising my daughter, I reach out and try to help other single mothers on how they can be successful too. I can relate to being a teen mom, getting married, divorced, and left to raise my daughter and fend for myself. I don’t post about my mentoring sessions on Mother 2 Mother, because of privacy reasons. It’s personal for me and personal for the person being mentored, but I do post on my experiences because moving forward is hard work and not for the faint at heart. If I can pull someone else up or help move them forward, it does my heart good.
Being raised in a dysfunctional/alcoholic home, teen mom and divorced category was enough for me. I knew I had to break the cycle, and so I did. Breaking out of these categories requires a willingness to listen, accept where we come from, and hard work to get out of it.
Before I accept a position as a mentor for young ladies and not so young I have a test that I give. It lets me know if the person who is requesting to be mentored is serious about growing and moving forward, if they’re willing to do the necessary work to survive as a single mother, and allows me to see where their head is. I ask 4 questions and I require a written response. I like for it to be in writing so they can reference it during the course of their journey and it serves as a reminder of where they started when they arrive finally at their destination. Here’s the questions:
- Tell me about your life and how you ended up where you.
- Tell me about your children and your relationship with your ex.
- Where do you want to be in 5 years?
- Are you willing to work to educate and better yourself? If so, list 5 goals.