How to Empower Yourself Emotionally

First, emotional Intelligence is about self-control.  It’s about having absolute control over your emotions and your life.  It’s portraying  confidence and a high level of self-esteem even when you don’t feel it.  I always think of the saying, “Never let them see you sweat” when I think of emotional intelligence.  I read every book that I could find on emotional intelligence and went to work on myself.  Becoming empowered was the name of the game.

Since management was the last rung on the ladder of my career goals, I was determined to be successful.  My job was to manage a team of IT Specialists and help oversee a million dollar computer system.

I empowered myself by incorporating the following tips into my life.  This included on the job and in my personal life:

Learning to Say No – There’s power in that 2 letter word. It’s one of the most powerful words in the English language and has served me well over the course of the years. At one point I didn’t know how to say no. I was the go to person for everybody in the family. It started wearing on my health, so I had to make a major change in my life by deciding what was my problem and what was theirs. I learned to leave them with their problems.  As a result, they had to grow up and take responsibility for their life.  That freedom empowered me.

Learning to Relax – I started focusing on hobbies that I enjoyed, but neglected. I started scrap booking, crocheting and making other crafts. It’s important to found things you enjoy and just unwind.  It empowers you.

Let Go Of Guilt – Once I learned to say no I also learned to let go of guilt. I would feel guilty if I didn’t do what was being asked of me. Now I say what I mean and mean what I say.  Let the door hit you if you don’t like it. It is so freeing and empowering.

Focus on Solutions – I always told my employees to bring a solution when they bring me a problem. Being a part of a solution is empowering.  It’s simple, write down the problem and than write down a solution.  Make changes to your solution when or if it is needed.

Stay Positive – A positive attitude will take you a long way, and you will feel better about yourself.  Who wants to follow someone with a bad attitude?  People want to connect with positive energy.  They find it empowering!

Exercise Regularly – Get some form of exercise everyday.  I had to change my attitude toward exercising.  I hate it and would find any exercise to avoid it.  Previously I thought if I couldn’t get at least 30 minutes in it was unproductive.  So not true, 10, 15, 20 minutes is better than nothing.  I still haven’t mastered this one I’m a work in progress, but I do understand the importance and benefits so I’m striving to get better each day.

The biggest lesson that I learned on my emotional intelligence journey is that our emotions drive our actions. Your emotions can lead to your success or your failure.  Become steadfast, and don’t move unless you choose to be moved.  This determination has required me to remain emotionless at times.

I have learned that people look for reactions, and when you don’t give them one they have to rethink their game plan.  The greatest satisfaction is walking away and seeing them with a puzzled look on their face because you didn’t give them what they wanted.  That is empowerment.

Unfortunately, the business world still needs to deal with women’s issues. There are still men who think that women are too emotional and shouldn’t be in leadership positions.  On the other side of the spectrum, there are other women who try to press your buttons because they don’t want to see you successful either.  Becoming empowered and emotional intelligence will help you be successful in all areas of your life.

You may also like Finding Your Self-Esteem After Divorce and How I Deal With Toxic People.