15 Signs Your Child Is Being Bullied

bullying

Do you have a child in school? Are they scared of the school bully?  School bullies are a national problem in America’s school systems.  Bullies can be found in preschool, elementary, junior, and high schools.  A bully is defined as a person with internal anger, resentment, and aggression.  They normally lack interpersonal skills and choose to displace their aggression onto another person.

Furthermore, it’s anti-social behavior.  For example, school bullies usually come from families who lack warmth and affection.  Or from abusive homes. They are usually poor students and aggressive.  However, this is not always the rule.  A new bred of bullies have emerged.  They are referred to as “brat bullies or cyber bullies“.  These bullies are usually seen as spoiled, and they believe the world revolves around them.

Most importantly, bullying isn’t gender specific.  Believe it or not, girls are just as capable as bullying as boys. They just use different tactics.  Additionally, boys usually resort to physical violence.  Where as girls inflict psychological pain.  For example they may resort to calling their victim names, starting rumors, gossiping, or excluding the victim from groups or parties.  Psychological abuse can be just as devastating as physical abuse.  Some of the effects of psychological abuse are eating disorders, ulcers, depression, and suicide.

Just as importantly,  nasty emails and text messages are a part of the brat bully’s psychological warfare.  So, bullies are not limited to children who come from poverty, low income, or broken homes.  As a matter of fact, most suffer from low self-esteem, they wear the latest fashions, and engage in the latest technological trends.  Also, they are raised in middle class and well to do homes.  Beware!  They call their victims fat, ugly, poor, make fun of the victim’s family or their cloths. They send emails or post pictures of the victim on-line and start rumors about them.

So, pay attention parents.  Most importantly, if your child’s behavior changes, grades go down or they have mood swings, they may be having problems with a bully.  Likewise, don’t ignore the signs or think that the problem will go away.  You must get to the bottom of the problem and deal with it head on. Here are a few signs:

  • Afraid to walk or ride the bus to school
  • Feeling ill in the morning, and not wanting to go to school
  • Asking for extra money or starts to steal
  • Starts bullying siblings
  • Stops eating or starts eating excessively
  • Poor grades
  • Cloths torn or dirty
  • Starts stammering
  • Crying themselves to sleep at night
  • Crying before going to school
  • Attempts or mentions suicide
  • States that they hate themselves
  • Withdraws from activities that they previously enjoyed
  • Nightmares
  • Have conversations with your child on what’s happening in school, with friends etc.  You may be able to detect problems during the conversation.

Let your child know that not everyone will like them.  Also, let them know they don’t have to put up with abuse from other people.  Be sure to notify school officials of your concerns.  Proper action must be taken to safeguard your child.  Bullying affects a person’s self-esteem and leaves life long scars.

Additionally, if your child is a bully you must address the pain that your child is inflicting.  So, don’t think that it’s not a big deal or kids are being kids.  For this reason, it’s imperative that you understand that children are killing themselves as a result of the pain they are enduring.   In addition, ask if you’re setting a good example for your child?  Furthermore, ask if you’re contributing to your child’s mistreatment of another person?  Bullying is a serious issue within our society.  It must be addressed. We would love to hear from about your bully experiences.  Please leave us a comment.

You may also like:   How to Help Victims of Bullies

How To Help Victims of Bullies

bullying

 

I received a message from one of nephews for a contribution toward 3 pairs of shoes for 3 of our local school children.  First, he explained that the children were in middle school and they were being bullied simply because they had holes in their shoes.  As a result, he wanted to stop the bullying.  He stated that he wanted to help, but as a single father he needed financial assistance.  Since it was 3 children in need, he would have to take away from his household expense to help all 3.  Of course, my sister and I jumped at the opportunity to help.

Here’s the story:  Two young boys, who happen to be twins, were being made fun of because their shoes were old and full of holes.  The children tried to explain that their parents were poor, and didn’t have money to buy them new shoes.  However, that didn’t stop the bullies from taunting them.   A third boy tried to intervene, but his shoes were full of holes too.  He understood the twins plight, and tried to stand up for them.  Unfortunately, he became a target of the harassment too.

 

bully, how to stop bullying

 

My heart broke as my nephew told the story.  I felt so sorry for the 3 boys, but I felt sadness for their harassers too. Are you wondering why I felt sorry for the bullies?  They obviously lack home training and most importantly empathy for those who have less than them. It all starts at home.  Obviously, they haven’t been taught to be charitable and to try to help others.  If these boy had been taught properly, they would have gone home and told their parents about their school mates being in need of new shoes rather than tease them.  At middle school age, they certainly should know better.

I taught my daughter early to reach out to others, and to give to the less fortunate. You must bless others if you want to be blessed. We bagged clothes, shoes, toys and anything else that we could find that could possibly help others in need.  To a point, she thought I could help everybody.  She brought a teen mom home and her baby one day.  She was in middle school at the time, I’ll share that story with you in another post.

Getting back to my awesome nephew, he went shopping for the shoes by himself.  While he was shopping, he sent the pictures above.  He found a reasonably priced pair of shoes for each of the children. I’m so proud of him for being a selfless young man.  He could have could have turned his back and walked away like so many do.

Fortunately, the school held an assembly to discuss bullying with the students.  Additionally, I’m hoping that they will contact the parents of those who are guilty of being a bully.  Most importantly, I hope that they have a  Zero Tolerance policy in place.

Teach your children that laughing at another’s misfortune is not acceptable.  Explain that they could possibly end up in the same position one day.  Our financial situation could change anytime.  Teach them to talk about their school mates.  Let them know that the right thing to do is to let you know about school mates in need.  You may be able to help.  If you can’t help financially, here a few tips that you can take to help victims of bullies:

1.  Contact your local church  – Many churches have clothing drives and have items readily available.
2.  Ask family and friends if they can contribute – A dollar from each adds up.
3.  Head up a local drive yourself – Most people are charitable and will be willing to donate.
4.  Ask your children if they would be willing to give up their allowance to help a schoolmate.
5.  Give up a trip to the salon or Starbucks for several weeks –  Donate your savings to your local charity.
6.   Contact your local Wal-Mart or Kmart – They may have a list of children who are in need.
7.  Check your children’s closet for donations – Determine if they have anything to spare.  If they have 5 pair of shoes will they really miss a pair?  If they have 10 pair of jeans, will they be willing to give up a pair?

We hope that you find our tips on how to help victims of bullies useful.  How do you bless others?  What’s your thoughts on this story?  You may also like



5 Reasons Why My Blog Is A Must Read

blogging, lifestyle blogs, parenting blogs

Have you visited Mother 2 Mother?  I have 5 reasons why you visit and than subscribe.  Lets get to it:  

I Share Parenting Tips and Motivators for Parents –  There are thousands of parent blogs that you can read, but are they complaining about their journey or showing you how you can be successful? As a single mother who has already raised and college educated a daughter, I show you how you can be successful too. There is no booklet on how to parent perfectly. I offer tips on how you can persevere when you think you can’t go on. I share tips on instilling values, getting your child to understand the importance of education, organized sports and arts, ideas for sleep overs and so much more.  

Tips on Kitchen Gardening and Preserving –  There’s nothing better than fresh vegetables and herbs from the garden. I provide tips on to grow organic vegetables from seed, how to care for the plants until they produce fruit (veggies), and how to preserve your harvest. Growing your own vegetables and herbs help save on the grocery bill, allows you to have fresh vegetables year round, and serve healthy meals to your family. I also make jams, can homemade applesauce, and apple/peach filling for cobblers and ice cream toppings. Did I mention that you can garden on a balcony or use containers to produce fresh vegetables? Mother 2 Mother will show you how. 

Great Quotes To Motivate and Inspire We can all use a little motivation and inspiration.  As parents there are days that we will need a double dose of both. You can find great quotes on Mother 2 Mother that are sure to motivate and inspire. Start your day on a positive note.   

Fun Printables for Kids and Budget Friendly CraftsI love creating fun and educational activities for grandchildren. It’s a great way to occupy them while you regroup. I also create budget friendly crafts for my home.

I Share My Thoughts On This Thing Called Life Life can be tough and at times we need a little humor, other times we just need to tell it like it is. My tag line is Real Talk For Real Women. Hold on tight, the road through life can get bumpy especially when things get on my last nerve.  I also love to travel, so I will be sharing my adventures with and without my children.

Because I’m constantly learning and growing, Mother 2 Mother is always evolving.  I hope you will stop by and subscribe. We would love for you to join the conversation.  

5 Reasons Family Is Important To Children

 importance of family

Family is important to children. We may not like some of our family members. but we can’t change who we are.  Our experiences with family have been different, I’m sure.  Some of us come from single parent homes, alcoholic homes, or two parent homes that were loving or not so loving.  We can choose to ignore, stay away from or disown our family.  However, we can’t get away from who we are.  That is a fact.  As a result, we should be teaching the importance of family to our children.

When I was growing up,  family reunions, backyard BBQs, and Sunday gatherings were a given. You never knew how the day would end, but we would all return eventually.  As children we spent time with siblings or cousins.  We played baseball, hop scotch, did cartwheels, or picking walnuts and berries for treats.  We still laugh about the good times that we had together as children.

Here’s 5 reasons why family is important to children:

Teaches Children About Who They Are
– Learning about your heritage is important to understanding who you are. What better way to learn than from great grandparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.  Listening to stories from relative’s childhood can help teach children about who they are and who family members are.  Forming a bond with family members can last a lifetime, it teaches children that they will always have someone to turn to with family.

Teaches Children About Trust – Spending time with family builds a bond which can lead to trust. We must teach our children who to trust in the family.  Sadly, not all family members should or can be trusted.  We all have drug addicts, alcoholics, thieves, liars and a host of other negative traits.  It may be hard to admit it, but it’s important to guide your children on trust.

Provides Examples For Children – Spending time with family members gives children a first hand example of how other family members live.  Some family members will be doing better than others financially, have bigger and more beautiful homes, and be the most unhappy.  It also gives children an opportunity to see those that are not doing well, but are the happiest.  Seeing things from a different perspective is always good.

Helps Develop Self-Esteem – It’s important that children become comfortable with who they are and accepted. What better place to start building a solid foundation than with family. No matter what, family should love and accept your imperfections, strengths and weaknesses.

Gives Children A Sense of Security – Knowing that you’re loved by family gives children a sense of security.  Understanding the importance of family will help them feel safe and accepted. They can be free to be who they are.  When they not afraid of being who they are, their self-worth soars.

No matter what happens in life, family will remain.  Children should understand the importance of family. So many children yearn for the love of family, security, a sense of who they are and examples of how life can be.  If you have the opportunity to expose your children to extended family gatherings, I encourage you to do so.  Understanding the family tree is essential to learning who you are.

15 Must Have Items For A First Aid Kit

first aid kit
Do you have a first aid kit?  First, if you have children a first aid kit is essential.  There will always be a scrap, cut, or rash.  Also, you will evidently suffer a burn in the kitchen or a scrape.  As a result, I always keep my first-aid kit stocked and ensure all ointments have not expired.
Additionally, you don’t have to buy expensive first aid kits.  I purchased a plastic container from the Dollar Store with compartments.  And I added what I believed I would use with the children and for myself.  Here are a few items that my first aid kit contains:
  1. Band-aids of various sizes
  2. Ointments for rashes, bee stings, and burns
  3. Ace-bandages and clips to hold the bandage together
  4. Gauze 
  5. Medical tape
  6. Medical scissors
  7. Peroxide and Antiseptic wipes
  8. Tweezers 
  9. Disposal gloves
  10. A Tube of Vaseline
  11. Benadryl for allergic reactions
  12. Tylenol or Aleve for adults 
  13. Baby and Bayer Aspirin (heart attacks and children)
  14. Eye Wash/Saline
  15. Cold compress (Made specifically for first aid kits)


Also, if you have allergies, asthma, diabetics or other specific medical conditions include items that you will need in an emergency.  If you are a diabetic, you may want to keep glucose tablets on hand, cake icing, and orange juice work as well.  Additionally, make sure you have an inhaler on hand too if you have asthma.

Again, first aid kits don’t have to be fancy or expensive.  The goal is to have items on had in cause of an emergency.  When you have children around, things happen.  There are also accidents in the kitchen, bathroom and backyard BBQs.  So, if there’s an emergency you don’t want to waste time having to run to the store.  Furthermore, running to a neighbor’s or searching your bathroom cabinet is time consuming as well.  You want to have items in a central location.

Furthermore, put a first aid kit in your car too.  Fortunately, a first aid kit was included in my car.  Accidents can happen in a parking lot, store, or the park.  So, what items do you have in your first aid kit?  Finally, you may like Caring for Kids in the Twenty First Century.
 
 
 
 
 

10 Benefits Of Children’s Organized Sports

soccer, kids sports, organized sports

 

Cool weather means football season in my family. My grandson will be entering his third season of playing flag football.  He loves it.  His dad played football through college, so I guess it’s in his blood. When he first started playing, I was a little leery.  He was so much smaller than the other boys, but he assured me he would be okay.  He said Mawmaw, “They have to catch me.” Since I’m grandma, I have bragging rights so I will.  He is fast, and they do have a hard time catching him.  

It’s actually exciting to watch him and his team members play. His dad is the head coach and his grandfather is the assistant coach.  It truly is a family affair. He has grown and learned so much over the pass 2 years.  There are several benefits to children playing organized sports.  

 

flag football, kids sports,

 

If you’re considering entering your child into an activity, please do. Xavier has benefited in the following ways:

  1. Physical Activity – He has learned the importance of being physically fit if you want to be involved in sports of any kind. It takes endurance to play an entire game, which is why most athletes do not smoke or do drugs. He has also learned the importance of eating healthy if he’s going to be an athlete.     
  2. Intellectual Stimulation – He has learned that playing ball requires skill and brain power. He must learn to listen to his coaches, think on his feet, remember his position, and put plays together that his coaches have called. 
  3. Confidence – His confidence and self-esteem has soared since he has been playing sports.  He believes in himself as a player and as a growing little boy.  
  4. Team Work – He has learned that a team win games, it is not an individual sport.  He has learned that he must work with his team members whether he likes them or not and he must play fairly against his opponents.
  5. Competition – He has learned that competition is a part of life and can be healthy if the game is played fairly. He has learned that there are players that are better and some that are not as good.  The important thing is to play your best at all times.   
  6. Focus – He has learned to focus on the game while tuning out the crowd shouting, listen for the whistle being blow by the referee, and listen to his coaches giving him instructions.
  7. Winning/Losing – He has learned that he nor his team can win at everything.  I remember the first game that his team lost.  He was so down, he didn’t think he deserved a trip to McDonald’s.  It made me so sad.  One of my life lesson’s came roaring to the surface, there will be times when you can’t sooth your child’s pain.  You must let life run it’s course.  
  8. Team Leaders – He has learned the importance of leading a team as captain and co-captain, and the responsibilities of a leader.  
  9. Friendship – He has made new friends on his and on opponent’s teams.  It has helped with his social skills, he gets invites to sleepovers, birthday parties and other outings. 
  10. Family Time – He spends time watching football and basketball with his dad and grandfathers.  He is getting a better understanding of the game, asks questions and joins in the conversation when they’re together.  

We also have Xavier in swim lessons and basketball.  He refuses to play baseball.  The thought of getting hit with a baseball frightens him.  We have accepted his fear and not pushed him to participate in the sport. If he decides to play down the road fine, if not that’s fine too.

It’s amazing to watch how far he has come from the backyard football games and shooting hoops in the driveway.  I would encourage all parents to place their child in an organized sport whether it be soccer, football, basketball, baseball or martial arts.  Now a  little discipline for the parents, stay tuned for that post.    

Parenting 101 Please

Image-Parenting-101

 

If I read one more story about a child being abandoned, left in a hot car, neighborhood parks while mom is working or carjacked while mom is paying for gas I’m going to scream. I read these stories, and I’m in disbelieve.  It’s one after the other. People need a licence to have a dog, but anyone can be a parent. There’s no background checks, credit checks, education requirement, income requirement, we can just procreate. Many can’t afford to buy a box of pampers or can of milk for their child, but they have them and with no thought on how they’re going to take care of them. Providing a safe and productive life is an afterthought.   
[Read more…]

15 Celebrity Grandparents

celebrities, Hollywood

Being a grandmother is one of the greatest joys of my life.  It’s a role that’s quite different from when I was raising my daughter.  I don’t know how to describe it, only to say that it’s special.  I try hard not to cross lines that have been set by daughter and son-in-law as parents, but I set my own rules when they’re in my care.  

[Read more…]

How To Find Mentors When Mom or Dad Is Absent

how to find mentors

 

 

Are you a single parent  who needs to provide male or female influence for your son or daughter?   I’ve bee there, and I also know that parenting is a taxing role.  But one that can be rewarding too.  As single parents, we worry about everything because the majority of the time we do everything.  Furthermore, having daily support from dad is rare.  So, we must become the back bone when it comes to raring our children.  However, finding resources is imperative.

My ex-husband was involved in my daughter’s life after we divorced, but it was on his terms.   His priorities were all wrong.  For example, the responsibility of getting my daughter up, providing clothing, feeding her, educating her, taking her to activities and turning her into a young lady was my responsibility.  For the most part, he thought if he handed over money he had done his part.  As a result, I ended up divorce and making it on my own.

Regardless of whether you have a son or daughter, they will need a male influence in their life.  You can and you must provide a strong male figure.  Speaking from a male perspective is something we as women simply can not do.  However I do have a  a few tips on how I accomplished that goal and provided male role models for my daughter:

  • First, if you have a sister or brother or aunt or uncle who is married, you trust them,  and they have established a home and family please call them.  I’m sure their husband or wife would be willing to spend time talking to and teaching your child how to become a positive person in our society.
  • Next, contact your local Big Brother and Sister organization – They have volunteers who wish to spend time with local children.  Also, one of my male employees was a volunteer for a little girl.  As a matter of fact, he was a huge supporter for most of her life and is still involved now that she is an adult.
  • Also, get your child involved in church activities.  Preferably with someone who is trustworthy.  We hear so much about Catholic Priests and ministers who abuse children.  Take the necessary steps, and ensure your child is around those who can truly be trusted.  Predators choose churches because we as parents make the mistake of thinking that everyone is holy.
  • Furthermore, camps are also a good way for your child to learn about leadership from both a male and female perspective.  This can be a church camp, sports, Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, or whatever organizations you can find locally.
  • Most importantly, if you are blessed and have your father, get him involved.  Grandfathers have great influence on their grandchildren.
  • Recreational centers are another way to provide role models and mentors for your child.
  • Last, if you have positive nieces or nephews, have them spend quality time with your son or daughter. They will share things with each other that most won’t talk about in front of their parents.  This will give your child an opportunity to hear things from a different perspective too.
In conclusion, don’t worry that your son will become a murder, rapist or bank robber because mom is not around. Don’t worry that your daughter may become promiscuous and bring home babies out of wedlock or marry the first man who comes along because dad was absent.  The world is filled with people who fit into these categories who were raised in 2 parent homes.  Most importantly, there are many people in the world who were raised by single parents, and they are successful.
You must talk to your child constantly, so they know what path to take and be honest.  Let them know that being a single parent is not a glamorous job, but in fact hard work and you want more for them.  Lead the way, they’re depending on you.

If you have additional resources or ideas that are not listed, please share.

 

11 Manners You Should Teach Your Child

manners, parenting,

Do you believe children today have less respect for elders and using manners is of no importance? I have found that excuse me, thank you, and please don’t seem to be a part of our children’s vocabulary these days. When did we lose this value? Teens have either cut in front of me or reached across me and never uttered a word.

When I was raising my daughter, manners were important. Good manners will take our children a long way.  I have been baffled about some children’s interaction with their parents on various occasions.  I have heard children call their parents by their first name, yell at them, just be downright disrespectful and the parent took no action.

Manners are taught and they should be taught at home. Along with manners comes respect. Instilling manners is a sign of respect for your parents and your upbringing as well as respect for yourself.  Who wants to be around rude and impolite children. These rude and impolite children will grow up to be rude and impolite adults. Here are a few tips to get your child on the road to respect and being polite:

 

  1. Please and Thank You. When you ask your child to pick up their toys, get ready for their bath etc. say please. When your child abides say thank you. Children learn by example.
  2. Yes Ma’am and Yes Sir. This is extremely important, especially when they are responding to seniors.
  3. Say Hello or Hi when you introduce them to friends, co-workers, church members or you have visitors in your home.
  4. Share toys, treats etc. when playing with friends or siblings.
  5. To Not Interrupt adult conversations unless it is an emergency.
  6. Table Manners. This will be important when you’re dining out or invited to a friend’s home or family gathering during the holidays. Your child needs to understand that they can not play with their food, slurp, burp, or create games with their eating utensils. If a burp does arise, teach them to say excuse me.
  7. Excuse Me when they need to pass in front of an adult or get around them.
  8. Be Positive – Say nice things about other people.
  9. Wash Their Hands with soap and water after using the bathroom and before meals. Also, teach them to wipe their hand on a towel and not on their clothes. Teaching them to use hand sanitizer is a good idea when soap and water is not available.
  10. Wipe their nose with a tissue and not their hands. Also, picking their nose is improper.
  11. Respect  – Showing respect toward adults and others.  Demonstrate respect and your children will mimic you.

Using patience with your child is a must while teaching them manners. They won’t learn overnight, so it’s important that you remind them of the importance of manners often. As they get older and they have mastered the basics, you can instill other values.

You may also like Teaching Your Child Responsibilities