I’m Someone’s Child Too

December 18, 2010 by

How do people learn hatred?  I have my beliefs and I’m very passionate about certain things, but I would never intentionally set out to hurt another person as a result of those beliefs.  
Amber, shown, used to be David.  She is now transgender.  In October, she went to a DMV in San Francisco, and changed her name and gender.  I’m sure she was thinking this is the beginning of my new life.  What she got in return is a letter condemning her to hell and telling her that she should be put to death from a DMV employee as well as a pamphlet from a church condemning her sexual orientation.  

It seems the DMV employee accessed the system and used her personal information to send the condemning letter.  Now let me make sure I have this right, this high and mighty employee accesses some one’s confidential information, which is an Ethics and Conduct Violation on most jobs and grounds for an immediate dismissal, to condemn someone to hell.  Hmmmmmmmmm!  

Allegedly, this same employee refused to help another transgender person last year.  He was given sensitivity training, and allowed to keep his job.  He obviously didn’t learn anything from the sensitivity training.  It’s hard to expunge hatred from human beings with a Power Point presentation?  It takes hatred years to fester and really get into the pores of human decency.  After all, we aren’t born full of hate.  
  
The employee has since resigned from the DMV.  I’m sure Amber Yust would have preferred the employee being fired rather than being allowed to resign.  This leaves the door open for him to find another job without a smear on his record.  How fair is this?  Hopefully there will be justice for Amber in the end.  Sending hate mail through the US Postal service is a federal offense.  This man should be prosecuted to the fullest extend of the law; otherwise, there will be another recipient of his hatred.

When I hear these type of stories, I wonder what makes the person so holy.  I wonder why they believe they are the chosen ones who should deliver the condemnation.  I wonder how many hours they spent listening to bigotry and hatred in their homes or church.  I can relate to Amber Yust.  Not because I’m transgender because I have been the recipient of hate mail.  Although it has been years ago, I remember the evening clearly.  I had just walked through my door from a business trip and was going through the mail.  My letter was sent from the coworker from hell.  My response was shock and disbelief.  It’s frightening, it’s funny, and in the end you feel sadness for someone who is that sick and thinks you’re the problem.  My letter contained a grave with a headstone.  On the headstone was RIP.  Another had me hanging from a tree.  My harasser spent a year behind bars in a federal prison.  She had a lot of time to think about her acts.  She apologized at her sentencing.  I didn’t accept it because I don’t believe it was sincere.   She was facing prison time, she was sorry she was sitting exposed as the sick cookie that she is.  What was truly amazing was that she tried to portray  herself as a great mother.  She really set a good example for her children with her acts of hate didn’t she.  I am thankful that the judge saw through her, and gave that bitch exactly what she deserved.  A year and a day and 3 years p robation. 

In time you do forgive, but you never forget.  Who has the right to scar another person for life?  What does a person have inside of them that makes acts of hate seem appropriate?  In my opinion, hatred is like cancer.  It will eat you alive.  I look at Amber and I think that she should be able to live her life the way she wants.  It’s her life, she has to live it and answer for her choices and decisions like we all do.  I feel no hatred toward her, she’s somebody’s child too.  Have you been the recipient of hate mail or discrimination in any manner.  We would love for you to share your story or thoughts on this post.  Please leave us  a comment, we love them.    

Filed Under: bigotry, discrimination, Uncategorized Tagged With: , , , , ,

Fired For Being Beautiful

June 5, 2010 by

Don’t hate me for being beautiful. Yes, it seems that’s still happening in the world. Allegedly, it’s happening at Citibank. They don’t want beautiful women working for them because they’re too distracting. Here’s the story, according to Debrahlee Lorenzana, pictured above, she was fired for being “too hot”. From the pictures that I’ve seen, she is a very attractive lady. She’s 5’5, weighs 125 pounds and has a great shape. DebrahLee states where she comes from women dress up, put on makeup, and get their nails done to go to the supermarket. She’s from Puerto Rico, so her dress at the office is a part of who she is. Personally, I think women should take pride in themselves regardless of where they’re from. For some women its not a priority, but for those of us who do put it at the top of their list more power to them.

When I read the article I was in disbelief. This is 2010, lets get real. The world is full of beautiful women and beautiful women are now a part of corporate America. It seems that Citibank’s male managers and co-workers found her to be distracting. Supposedly, male co-workers complained that they could not focus on their work.  As a result, two male managers gave her a list of clothing she would not be allowed to wear. The list includes turtlenecks, pencils skirts, fitted suits and 3 inch heels. Are you kidding me. It is hard to believe that there are men that damn weak in Corporate America. It is absolutely one of the most ridiculous actions by a company that I have hear of.

As a woman in Corporate America, I have seen and experienced harassment by female co-workers as a result of the pride that I take in myself so I know dress can be an issue in the work environment. I received compliments from male co-workers, but never did I receive a complaint from a male co-worker nor was I called into the office by management as a result. Than again, I’m not built like a brick house either. Anyway because of the harassment I experienced, EEO was called into my area to do several presentations on diversity. The harassing employees were told if they continued, they would be fired from the company. The harassment stopped immediately.

Now I did not sport 3 inch heels in the office for several reasons: 1) 3 inch heels are not appropriate for the office and 2) I can’t walk in the SOBs anymore. I do own a turtle neck in every color and I wear then under my suits in the winter. Gives a very polished look. Besides, what is more covering than a turtleneck? Before I gained weight, I also wore pencil skirts and fitted suits. I’ve had to change my style, but suits, turtle necks, pencil skirts and fitted suits are worn in the office. It seems that the real problem is not the clothing for DebrahLee, this is a cover-up, it’s how she looks in these garments. She’s causing hard ons, lol.

I viewed several pictures of DebrahLee in her office attire, and I agree, she has a hell of a shape on her. Go on girl, strut your stuff. I’m not mad at you.

It seems Citibank’s lawsuits are piling up. Here’s another interesting case, a former employee who is Jewish, Dorly Hazan-Amir, is suing Citigroup for sexual discrinination. The men in the office took bets on how much weigh she would gain while she was pregnant, she was told that she could go a business trips when she learned how to play golf, and her boss stated that Jewish girls were turned on by men with beareds.

In my opinion, this country still has miles to travel on the diversity path and we really need to step up the education in the good old USA. It looks like we really need diversity training in Corporate America too. If this is what’s happening in our corporations, no wonder the country is in the state it’s in. People can’t make good judgements or do their job because they focusing on their erections and how someone looks in their clothing. Would love to hear your opinion on this one.

Filed Under: Citibank, corporate dress, corporate job, discrimination, Uncategorized

This Red Dress Was Designed for Skinny Bitches

July 12, 2009 by

Check out the new dress that Delta Airline flight attendants will be wearing.  Nice!  My significant other is a pilot, I’m glad he doesn’t work for Delta Airlines, lol.  The dress is attractive and it will definitely catch the attention of everyone in the airport, but some of the flight attendants have filed a grievance.  Not because it’s sexy or it’s red, because the dress only goes up to a size 18.  What about the plus size attendants?  Why is this beautiful uniform made for the skinny bitches only and the larger women are being told to wear pieces including slacks, tops and blue dresses that are currently made in larger sizes.  Big woman want to look sexy too. 
The dress is not your typical flight uniform, it carries a designer label.  The designer decided to not make the uniform in a size larger than 18.  Delta and Northwest airlines have merged.  Delta was basically non-union; however, Northwest was heavily unionized.  As a result, the flight attendants decided to file a grievance.  I had several questions when I read the article:
  • Why would an airline purchase a uniform that could not be worn by all of their attendants?
  • Because the dress size stopped at a size 18, didn’t they know that they could possibly face a discrimination suit? 
  • Discrimination causes a hostile work environment.  I certainly do not want to be on a flight where a hostile work environment has been created because one attendant is wearing the sexy red uniform and stilettos and another is wearing the mundane blue uniform. 
Do you think the dress should be made to fit all attendants?  Normally, the flight attendants uniforms go up to a size 28.  Not making the uniform in a size larger than 18 leaves quite a few women out of the new uniform. 
Let us know your thoughts and if you think Delta is discriminating against plus size women.
Filed Under: Delta Airlines, discrimination, flight attendants, Uncategorized Tagged With: , ,