The Beauty of Being Married or Single


As my readers know, I’m a lover of quotes.  I commented on the quote above. I basically said I loved it.  Well here’s a quote for you, “One problem with being single is that it exposes you to people that don’t measure up to you. The longer you stay single, the wider the divide between you and your ideal partner. Praying and playing in a relationship may not be as important as being a survivalist. The fittest get married.”

A Nigerian Architect, Creative Writer, and Politician made that comment.  His response actually brought back memories of a Nigerian pilot that I dated for several years. Now that’s another story.  I was offended by the comment after I thought about it.  I do know that if he was campaigning in this country he wouldn’t get my vote.  His comment sounded like something a male chauvinist would say.  

Being the sassy person that I am; I couldn’t contain myself.  So I responded, “You can be exposed to people who don’t measure up regardless of your marital status. People come into your life for a reason or a season.  Just learn from it and keep it moving. Married or not married is a choice for many.  Neither status makes them fit or unfit.”

There are married people that don’t measure up to my standards.  I don’t see them as an ideal mate for anyone.  So,  the longer you stay single your chances of finding your ideal mate lessens?  Being a survivor is more important than praying or playing?  Don’t most women in Nigeria get married to survive don’t they?  

Child molesters, rapists, and murders can be married.  So, a person’s marital status definitely don’t define how fit they are.  I’m sure he wants to give me 50 lashes for even commenting on his ridiculous thought process.   I should be somewhere weaving a rug, cooking over a kettle, or balancing a basket on my head.  

We had several exchanges before we finally cleared the air.  I guess the bottom line ended up being cultural differences.  Men control their wives in Nigeria. He stated that his wife depends on him for everything including advancing her career and opportunities.  My final response was I live in America.  We can be dependent or independent in this country.  We can also choose to marry or not marry in this country.  People have waited a life time to find their ideal mate.  Many had to weed out quite a few before they received their blessing.  That doesn’t make them fit or unfit.

Age or a time frame shouldn’t be factors when it comes to matters of the heart. It could take a life time to meet a potential soul mate.  What’s important is that we as women be confident and happy where we are.  So, never let another’s thought process affect your self-esteem.  Your thoughts on this post.  



  1. My thoughts — I, too am glad I live in America and we make our own choices. Sometimes we make the right ones and sometimes we make choices we end up learning from even if they weren't right. I do think it is a cultural thing and like I said — I'm glad I was lucky enough to be born in America!

    • We do live in the greatest country in the world.  The freedom to choose and not conform to other's standards is priceless.  He stated that his wife is completely dependent on him and he advances her career and opportunities.  Sounds like control rather than being supported by a partner.  I too am lucky to be born in America.