Archives for February 2014

My Ancestors Discovered Johnsontown

                                                                    
                                                                       


It’s Black History Month, and I wanted to share a little of my history with you so you can get to know me better.  I’m in the midst of tracing my ancestry, and I discovered that a small town near me was discovered by my great, great, great grandmother and grandfather.  I remember going to family reunions in a town called Johnsontown, WV, but I have to admit I had no idea of the history behind it.

The town was discovered by George W. and Betty Johnson who were slaves in Pennsylvania.  In 1848, they were freed.  The slave owners brought them to Virginia where they founded Johnsontown on 12 acres of land. It is now, Johnsontown, WV.  My grandfather, my mother’s father, is a descendant.  They built several homes, a church  and a one room school house in the small community.  Before the church was built, the one room school house was used for both church and school.
                                                    
                                             


I remember attending family reunions in Johnstown.  The cook-out was Saturday and the following Sunday one of my relatives would preach at the small church shown above.  My mother’s side of the family were religious people on both sides.  They have a history of being Ministers, Bishops, Evangelists or marrying those who were.  I often wonder how my grandfather and my grandmother meet.  My grandfather who I loved dearly missed the boat on his religious calling.  He drank and raised hell every week-end God sent, but he never missed a day of work.  He taught me to care, share, work hard and play even harder.  I remember him planting a garden the size of a field to feed all of his children and grandchildren and making a career on the B and O Railroad.  My grandparents stayed married until the day my grandfather died.  My grandmother grieved herself to death, she passed away 6 months later. 
I’m proud of my heritage and wanted to share a part of my history with you.  Have you traced your ancestry?  Please share a part of your history.  Knowing who you are is a great feeling!
                                                                          
  

10 Tips to Transform Your Love Life

Relationship Reality Check:

10 Questions that Can
Transform Your Love Life

By Dr. Jacqueline Del
Rosario

Relationships
often collapse because couples are not prepared to withstand the inevitable
conflicts or even the humdrum and monotonous plateau period that’s nearly
certain to present as the years go by.  A relationship can feel more like
“boot camp” when trying to acclimate to each other’s personality differences
and habits—frustrations, tensions, and resentments that can persist well into a
long-term love affair and undermine the ability to feel happy and content. For
other couples, it’s shear boredom that can wreak havoc—if the partnership
doesn’t continue to stimulate and enrich their lives, the doldrums can be a
relationship death knell!


When
couples do not understand these are anticipated and natural events in the
course of a relationship, they may start looking for the exit
door thinking that they have made a grievous mistake. But, many people
don’t realize the extent to which their relational health and happiness is
under their own control. That power lies in one’s ability to self-assess and
foster quality communication with their partner.

With this in mind, here are 10 self-assessment questions—answers to which can
not only help a relationship survive, but also thrive so that both partners can
actualize their dreams of “happily ever after”:

1. Am I putting my
best face forward?

People dress up in their best clothes, make sure their hair is done, and put on
makeup for the outside world. Do you put forth the same effort to impress
and excite your mate? 

2. Am I still
growing?

You must come to a relationship, willing to continuously improve who you are so
that your relationship can continue to evolve. Consider trying new things
together.  Exploration
and adventure can go a long way to keeping things fresh and appealing and will
help you understand and appreciate who your partner is today. Continue to date
and experience new things as a couple. 

3. Am I continuing to
invest the time and effort to maintain a strong foundation?
All good things take
work, and both parties must roll up their sleeves and commit to doing their
part to add value to the union. This includes continually stoking the flames of
passion.  Are
you as proactive or even adventuresome in the bedroom, or are you relegated to
business as usual? Break the routine here and watch the magic ensue. 

4. What are the
anchors in my relationship?
What are the things that keep you rooted and
well-connected with your partner?  Why are you together in the first
place? Identifying and nurturing similar values, goals, and expectancies in
your relationship are fundamental and will help you endure during the tough
times. 

5. How can I help
improve our communication style?
It is essential to learn how each party in
the partnership prefers to communicate. 
 You must then make the conscious effort to deliver and receive
messages from your mate according to their personal style, which may differ
from yours. Knowing when and how to disseminate information is a key
relationship skill that can be a saving grace unto itself. And, during an
argument, always fight fair and with respect—no name calling, no degrading one
another, and no using your tongue as a weapon of mass destruction. 

6. What unmet
expectations do we each have that need to be addressed?
Unfortunately, unmet
expectations are often not shared and, instead, they can fester within and
result in resentment and bitterness. How can you expect your mate to meet your
expectations if you don’t voice them? 
It’s unfair of you to feel that your partner “should know” or be able to
decipher passive aggressive cues that something is wrong.  Met
expectations equal relational bliss, so be honest with what you need from your
partner for a real chance that those needs will be met, or even exceeded. 

7. What emotional
triggers might be adversely affecting my current relationship?
Triggers link back
to past traumas and can hinder the way we respond to or even perceive
present day issues.  Were you lied to or
cheated on in the past? It doesn’t mean you cannot trust your current mate. Did
your past partner drink too much? It doesn’t mean this partner can’t enjoy a
cocktail responsibly. Put your old baggage aside and experience your current
partner on their own merits and actions.

8. Do I stop, look, and listen? Take
the time to listen to and validate your mate. Couples often decrease their talk
time once they have been together awhile and feel comfortable. Keep the
channels of communication open—chatter about the day’s events, current events,
family matters and similar. It bonds the heart and abates the feeling of
growing apart.
Should a concern be expressed along the way, it’s
imperative to hear your mate and try to empathize with how they feel.

9. Do I allow outside
interference?
 There is a reason “interference” is a penalty
in most sports. It is because someone is getting involved where and when they
do not have a right. This can result in focusing on the wrong issues and
reinforcing dangerous and emotional conclusions that can be detrimental to your
relationship. Your partner may also be very angry to find out that others are
now involved in your private life. Instead, go directly to your partner to
resolve relationship problems. However, if things are critical and seemingly
out of both of your control, qualified assistance can come from marriage
coaches and counselors who are there to help get the dialogue between the two
of you on the right track.

10. Do I have a maintenance plan? Are you still doing what you did to get your mate? Do you
know exactly why your mate should or would want to stay with you in the months
and years ahead? What emotional benefits do you offer your mate that others
don’t? Take the time to assess what your virtues are and even ask your mate to
cite favorite qualities about you. Then, make a concerted effort to foster
these qualities to not only ensure interest remains, but also maximize the
caliber of that interest.

“America’s Marriage
Coach” Jacqueline Del Rosario is
President and CEO of Recapturing the Vision International, an organization
dedicated to promoting healthy marriages and family strengthening. Also a
published author, speaker, and nationally regarded media personality, Dr. Del
Rosario has been a certified pre and post-marital counselor for more than 20
years. Her cutting-edge series, Marriage Solutions and The Marital
Constitution™, help couples successfully work through problems and find
healthy solutions. She has two children and currently resides in Miami, Florida
with her husband of over 20 years. Dr. Del Rosario may be reached online at
www.DrJacquie.com.
I will be interviewing Dr. Rosario.  Stay tuned for my interview post. 

Quote of the Week

Each week I will be posting one or two of my favorite quotes.  I hope they will inspire you as much as they inspire me:  


“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” – Ernest Hemingway
                                                                              

Chicken Soup for the Soul – From Lemons to Lemonade Book Give Away

Chicken Soup for the Soul: From Lemons to Lemonade
You’ve heard the saying, “When life hands you lemons… make lemonade!” One of my favorite Chicken Soup for the Soul books has turned out to be, Lemons to LemonadeAs a Soup-er Blogger for the Chicken Soup for the Soul Blog Network, I wanted to share some of the great books that I’ve had the opportunity to review and this book is one of them.  I’m a lover of quotes, inspirational stories, anything that will motivate me or teach me a lesson in some form. 
This book has 101 stories that are powerful and will help you turn a bad situation into something positive.  We all encounter challenges, heartbreak, tragedy, death and some days just struggle to find the strength to get through the day.  You will find a story in this book that will inspire you to move forward.  I found a story that touched every area of my life:  family, career, health, relationships, and finances.  The authors of the story range from teens to adults.
If you’re looking for inspiration, add this book to your reading list.  My challenge is to read a story each day, meditate on the story and learn the lesson.  As a mother, grandmother, leader, manager, and mentor, I’ll allowing this book to inspire me on my journey.   
Mother 2 Mother is giving away 1 copy of Lemons to Lemonade to one of our lucky readers.  We want you to be inspired too.   Here’s how you can win:
Mandatory:
Additional Entries:
  • Tweet this give away – Add 5 additional entries (Can tweet daily)
  • Follow Mother 2 Mother Blog( On the right) – 5 additional entries
  • Comment on any post – 5 additional entries
This contest will end March 7, 2014 at mid-night.  The contest is open to US Citizens and Canada residents 18 or older. The winner will be notified by email and selected by Random.org.  Invalid email addresses will be disqualified and another winner drawn.  The book will be sent directly to the winner from the sponsor. 
Note:  I have been compensated with a copy of the book for review; however, my opinion of the product is my own. 


You Owe Money No Lunch For You